(Because, really, who doesn't
desperately need another mug,
T-Shirt or baseball cap?)
are wild about Jabootu!!
"God, what a moron --the review (or
hatchet job) reminds me of Maugham's sneering at Amis!!" -- Correspondent "Mimus,"
referring to Ken and his Candy
review; the alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk usenet group
"...bitter and pedantic!!" -- Michael Rosen-Molina;
UCLA Daily Bruin On-Line
(Note: Exclamation points may have been
added for emphasis' sake.)
Y 9 J... H E A
D I N G
I N T O O U R N I N T H Y
E A R!!! 9/18/06
04/30/06 "I think that I shall
something as silly as
a rubber killer tree..."Our stalwart military stands up against to the titular potted
perils in the '60s sci-fi classic The Navy vs. the Night Monsters,
courtesy of Jabootu Sponsor Eric Balzer.
The patronage period of Henry Brennan ends with the appearance of
his official Sponsor's Pick, Billy Jack Goes to
Washington. It's my last Tom Loughlin movie!
B-Masters Roundtable time, and Ken gets his barf bag out as the crew
examines the films outlawed in Britain in the early '80s as Video
Nasties. See Ken take refuge in the list's silliest time
period, The Night of
the Bloody Apes.
Sand, shore and silly sea creatures are the fare of the day
when Ken joins the B-Masters for
some summer fun, only to fall prey to The Horror of Party Beach.
The best of the
worst... keep up with the latest antics of the entertainer class
in Hollywood News
Don't miss the action...
Only -3010 days 'til B-Fest 2007!!!
Details will be in Events
when we have them, but you might want to mark your calendars
Really, what is this?
"What is this page all about?",
you ask? ...This site is devoted to the savoring of films at the very bottom
of the Cinematic Bell Curve. No, you won't find Batman and Robin, nor Armageddon
massacred within these pages. That would be Mr.
Cranky's job, and you will find many other sites in our links list which contain fine
carvings of un-craftsmanlike conduct in blockbuster films.
Those films, however, escaped the Jabootu
dimension by sheer virtue of their mediocrity; one side-by-side viewing of Godzilla(AKA Dean-zilla) next to, perhaps The Giant Claw, should be sufficient
to illustrate the distinction we are seeking.
Which is not to say that box-office success
(or near-success) necessarily disqualifies a film from participation in the Jabootu Dimension. Why, Jabootu himself is the spawn of a
critically acclaimed but quite differently-clued specimen of filmmaking acumen. Seek
Jabootu in these pages, and you're sure to find him (quiet in the studio,
please...). Which begs the question...
Who is Jabootu?
Ah, yes... "Who is Jabootu?", you
wish to know. ...Read on, fearless soul! Jabootu has come to be known as the muse of
Bad Movie creativity. Without the assistance of Jabootu's creative powers, the likes
of Ed Wood, Chesty Morgan, The Amazing Criswell, and their ilk would have vanished into
the anonymous mass of mediocrity, virtually unknown for their Greatness in Awfuldom as
they are today. Those who dared make deals with Jabootu, however, have been
immortalized for all eternity in the Dimension of Great Badness... the Jabootu Dimension!
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