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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
 Posted - 07/13/2006 : 01:50:53 AM
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...and I feel very vulnerable, and frightened. I have no memory of the last two hours. I think something bad happened to me but I can't remember. Is there some kind of a counseling hotline I could call?
Coming soon-
Eraserhead: The Musical!! |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2006 : 04:29:33 AM
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| Not really, but you can buy the original unrated. |
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jackspencerjr
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
262 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2006 : 08:04:35 AM
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| It's not often we find a movie that gives you a "bad touch" |
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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
833 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2006 : 2:09:25 PM
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I know the pain of which you speak. Worst of all, I saw it in the theater where the fast forward option was not available. This is simply a movie for which there is no logical reason to explain its existence aside from Sharon Stone hellbent to jumpstart her film career and believing the only way to do so would be by returning to play her most famous character. Here's my brief review of BASIC INSTINCT 2: THE INSTINCION.
There's an old joke about British men being boring in bed. I couldn't help but be reminded of that joke while watching BASIC INSTINCT 2, Sharon Stone's comeback, now go away vehicle. The sequel the world has not been waiting for is set in England and the man being manipulated by everyone's favorite chain-smoking bisexual serial killing ice queen is a blank stare with a British accent. Flat when it should be suspenseful, dull when it should be lurid; BASIC INSTINCT 2 simply isn't intriguing, trashy, or campy enough to justify its existence or any reason why you should want to sit through it. The urge to sleep is the only basic instinct this movie is likely to inspire.
No doubt Sharon Stone looks gorgeous for a woman her age - she's about a decade away from being old enough to star in big screen version of The Golden Girls and you just know she'd be cast as Blanche - but even the scant scenes of sex and nudity are more fizzle than sizzle. Heck, there's more naked male heinie on display here than in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. Stone and company blame the MPAA for making them cut all the steamy explicit sex scenes down or completely but no amount of sweaty groin-grinding could have saved this. While Stone herself does get a couple of deliciously vulgar lines and there's a scene with her in a hot tub where I honestly began to wonder if she get confused and momentarily thought she was starring in another remake of CAT PEOPLE, neither she nor the wearisome nature of the film (From the director of DOC HOLLYWOOD?) will stop you from checking your watch often.
What begins as a battle of wits that then turns into a locking of loins eventually devolves into a battle to see who can out sneer the other. Much of the film's failure stems from too indisputable problems: a) there's no mystery this time out as everyone knows Catherine Tremell is a cold-blooded murderer - they just can't prove it while continually falling under her spell, and b) the fact that there's absolutely no way to sympathize or root for the male lead. This guy is a bigger boob than both of Miss Stone's breast implants put together. After his estranged wife gets her throat cut, he storms over to Catherine's loft ready to kill her, fully aware that she had to be responsible for the deed. Catherine proceeds to all but confess to the murder, even explaining to him how getting the ex out of the way will be to his benefit. How does he react to this? They have sex. You find yourself wishing she'd just whip out the old icepick and finish this guy off already. It would have at least saved us all from having to sit through another hour of this film which can now join that elite group of completely unwarranted and unwanted sequels that popped up years after they had any chance of being relevant.
BASIC INSTINCT 2, I'd like you to meet BLUES BROTHERS 2000, ARTHUR 2: ON THE ROCKS, GREASE 2, CADDYSHACK 2, THE STING II, WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S 2, DIRTY DANCING: HAVANA NIGHTS, and STAYING ALIVE. I think you'll find that you all have a lot in common.
Now Playing in Foyeurism at Schlocktoberfest.Com:
LEFTOVER MAY-HEM - Talking Koalas, Karate Dogs, Invisible Slater, & 10.5 APOCALYPSE!
Plus: B-WARE THE BLOG is alive at http://www.livejournal.com/users/foywonder |
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flellis
Archdeacon of Jabootu
USA
17 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2006 : 09:38:32 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by TheFoywonder
Stone and company blame the MPAA for making them cut all the steamy explicit sex scenes down or completely but no amount of sweaty groin-grinding could have saved this.
I just saw the unrated DVD last night. And sorry, the MPAA isn't to blame here. First off, when I watch it, I thought it was the male rear that was made the cut unrated, since Stone doesn't bare too much skin here in this cut (defintely a lot less when compared to the original) and the only other female skin I recall seeing is the first girl that the male lead screws and even her nudity is not that expilcit. Oddly, in the deleted scenes commentary, there's a scene where Stone arrives to the guy's office with her clothes rain-drenched and another scene where she describes her first teenage sex experience (which is lesbian). While those scenes wouldn't have helped Basic Instinct 2, they at least would have served the purpose of this stupid movie, which is to be sexy and campy.
As for the film itself, while there are moments that are Jabootu-worthy, there are too many slow stretches to make it Jabootu-worthy here. Verhoven and Eszterhas (one of the smartest things they ever did was not get involved with the sequel. The same goes for Michael Douglas.) already gave us a film that is Jabootu-worthy: Showgirls. Check that out instead of Basic Instinct 2 if you are in need of some Jabootu. |
Edited by - flellis on 07/22/2006 09:39:01 AM |
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Tork_110
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
360 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2006 : 11:05:38 AM
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| I saw Basic Instinct 2 available as a Blu-Ray disc yesterday. Take that, HD-DVD! |
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