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Capt. Nemo
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
630 Posts |
 Posted - 01/12/2007 : 10:54:18 PM
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With the Holy Month of February upon us, Jabootu has blessed us with some tokens from his only begotten son; Tom Laughlin.
Apparently, Tom has decided to branch out in to movie reviews. He is particularly choosing movies that failed at the box office so that HE can explain why they failed(and if they had only followed HIS tactics they would have been commercial successes). He has a list of things a movie must have to be good and be successful. And if you fund his latest Billy Jack, damn it; you'll be rolling in dough.
He also takes this opportunity to give social commentary and I don't think I need to tell you where his sensiblities lie.
This stuff is definately a hoot.
Warning: If you get a message asking if you want to download some software to watch Tom, just click 'No' and it should work anyway.
[url="http://www.billyjack.com/index.php?menuID=Page&pid=174"]Intro[/url]
[url="http://www.billyjack.com/index.php?menuID=Page&pid=170"]Shut Up and Sing[/url]
[url="http://www.billyjack.com/index.php?menuID=Page&pid=171"]Blood Diamond[/url]
[url="http://www.billyjack.com/index.php?menuID=Page&pid=167"]Flags of our Fathers[/url]
Yeah, Tom. Speilberg makes you squemish but you can so a Nationial Guardsman shooting a child in the back.
FOR GOD SAKE, SOMEBODY PLEASE FUND THIS GUY!!!!!!
________________________________________________________________________
"Ward, the Beaver blew up the 7-11 again."
"I'll have a talk with him Dear" |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 01/13/2007 : 11:48:31 PM
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He called Scorsese "sick and brutal." Uh huh. And he predicted that The Departed would bomb. The Departed is Scorsese's biggest hit. Chalk another one for our Billy. HE should have been the critic in Lady In The Water; he actally fits that character. (By the way, his slamming of Scorsese personally misses one tiny point: Scorsese DID direct a non-violent love story, The Age of Innocence.)
Nine Ingredients, my ass. He mentioned that, and I immediately thought about Griffin Mill in The Player.
The colossal joke is, there aren't nine "indispensable" ingredients. There's one: the audience. And that's the one thing you never have real control over. Sometimes audiences can appreciate the difference between a good movie and a bad one; sometimes they can't. And you can't anticipate, much less influence, which audience you're going to get. (While I will disagree with Sidney Lumet on a lot of things, he's absolutely right about this.)
That's the big thing that makes me wonder why in the hell studios make one 100-million-dollar movie after another. I can understand Spiderman 2 or King Kong getting $200-million budgets: Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson have shown they can handle this sort of thing. But Eragon?
No, Hollywood doesn't get it. And neither does Tom Laughlin.
By the way, Douglas Milroy might want to go after Mr. Laughlin for copyright infringement. Laughlin mentioned one movie where he all but said the words "Designated Hero."
Hey, maybe we could pair Tom Laughlin up with Uwe Boll and see what happens! Uh oh, I think my head's about to explode agai—
BOOM!!! |
Edited by - BradH812 on 01/13/2007 11:54:53 PM |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 01/14/2007 : 12:27:03 AM
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His review for Bobby is a real piece of work. Right now, I'm at the eight-minute mark, and the man is just finishing a four-minute tangent.... Oh, Lord, he's getting off topic again. Okay, it's the eleven-minute mark, and he's finally describing the movie. No wonder Trial of Billy Jack was so damned rambling. Does Laughlin have ADD?
Uh oh, it's 23 minutes in, and he's getting in a plug for Billy Jack's Moral Revolution. *snicker*
Seriously, listen to it. Here's the link: http://www.billyjack.com/index.php?menuID=Page&pid=166
He's fairly intelligent, fairly well-spoken, and quite crazy. That's not a joke; I firmly believe that a psychiatric evaluation on this man would show diagnosis of Schizoaffective and Narcissistic Personality Disorders. |
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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
833 Posts |
Posted - 01/14/2007 : 04:39:14 AM
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Tom Laughlin: The World's Angriest Pacifict
Hey, that sounds like it could be the name of his bioflick.
Now Playing in Foyeurism at Foywonder.com:
THE 2007 KICK-OFF - MAX HAVOC, UNDISPUTED 2, & BLOODFIST 2050, plus the 2006 Foybles
Plus: B-WARE THE BLOG is alive at http://www.livejournal.com/users/foywonder |
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jackspencerjr
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
262 Posts |
Posted - 01/14/2007 : 07:57:37 AM
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| Colour me curious, but what are the nine ingredients? |
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Capt. Nemo
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
630 Posts |
Posted - 01/14/2007 : 08:28:58 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by jackspencerjr
Colour me curious, but what are the nine ingredients?
As near as I can tell, it's [url="http://billyjack.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=BK9S&Category_Code=BOOKS&Store_Code=BERSERK"]a book he's trying to peddle.[/url]
Here's [url="http://www.billyjack.com/index.php?menuID=Page&pid=173"]Apocalypto.[/url]
It's not the directing that was bad. It's the "problems with Mel's psychy."
Although, he might have a point.
________________________________________________________________________
"Ward, the Beaver blew up the 7-11 again."
"I'll have a talk with him Dear" |
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jackspencerjr
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
262 Posts |
Posted - 01/14/2007 : 12:01:41 PM
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| He spelled "Indispensible" wrong on that web page. Strong speeling skills must not be one of the nine ingredients. Thank goddness |
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Capt. Nemo
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
630 Posts |
Posted - 01/14/2007 : 1:50:51 PM
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Must be an example of yoga spelling.
It's not important that it be perfect. Just that the idea gets across. |
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hbrennan
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Philippines
1455 Posts |
Posted - 01/15/2007 : 5:25:53 PM
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I say we all pool our money together and fund his movie. Personally, I wish I had the money to give him. It would be absolutely priceless to see my name mentioned in the credits of a Tom Laughlin "film".
"...yet it hadn't destroyed his brain."
re: Charles "The Butcher" Benton (1956)
http://www.henrybrennan.com/
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brandywine
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
56 Posts |
Posted - 01/15/2007 : 6:57:56 PM
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Oh, that Billy. He makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I can't help it. I agree with pretty much everything in the conservative review, but my father had Billy Jack as his outgoing message on his answering machine for YEARS.
"I'm gonna take my right foot and whop you on that side of your face..." |
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jackspencerjr
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
262 Posts |
Posted - 01/15/2007 : 9:01:38 PM
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| Your dad is one messed-up cat. |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 01/16/2007 : 12:14:45 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by brandywine
Oh, that Billy. He makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I can't help it. I agree with pretty much everything in the conservative review, but my father had Billy Jack as his outgoing message on his answering machine for YEARS.
"I'm gonna take my right foot and whop you on that side of your face..."
He took his answering machine and got you with that message, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. *g* |
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jackspencerjr
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
262 Posts |
Posted - 01/16/2007 : 04:46:13 AM
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| I'm still curious as-to what these 9 ingredients are. He is doing an interesting thing in using his little film theory to review film, and thus see if his theory proves right or wrong. However he seems to be playing it cagey about what those ingredients are. I gave up before I hit five minutes of the review of Bobby. The way he meanders in the reviews does not entice me to buy the stupid book. I wish he'd just say what the damned ingredients are and be done with it. |
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brandywine
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
56 Posts |
Posted - 01/16/2007 : 8:24:55 PM
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quote:
Your dad is one messed-up cat.
Tell me about it!
*sigh* |
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hbrennan
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Philippines
1455 Posts |
Posted - 01/16/2007 : 9:26:33 PM
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quote:
jackspencerjr wrote: I'm still curious as-to what these 9 ingredients are.
He's not going to divulge the "ingredients" - he wants you to buy the book. Actually, for the money, he could just send you a copy of "Billy Jack Goes To Washington" and you could easily review exactly what the "nine ingredients" are not.
"...yet it hadn't destroyed his brain."
re: Charles "The Butcher" Benton (1956)
http://www.henrybrennan.com/
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Capt. Nemo
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
630 Posts |
Posted - 01/17/2007 : 12:31:32 AM
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Doing a search on the net, I could only verify 2 ingredients.
Undeserved Misfortune and Love.
He's got a chapter from his book [url="http://www.billyjack.com/books/9secrets_sample.html"]published on his website[/url] about the first one. Which is kind of fun because he delves in to the genius that is Waterboy.
The second one I gleaned from the his article [url="http://www.billyjack.com/webvid/subjects/film/articles/990218_m_sprvtrl.html"]Saving Private Ryan vs The Thin Blue Line.[/url] Which is kind of strange because he claims not to have seen Saving Private Ryan because he's squimish about such things.
Update: Found some more.
Curiosity
Jeopardy(Sword of Damacles)
Visible Villain you Love to Hate
Hero
Credibility
Mystery
Humor
From [url="http://www.billyjack.com/webvid/subjects/film/film.html"]his film commentary[/url] section.
I tell ya. This art-by-the-numbers thing is really low. Even for him.
Billy forget doing another film. Script doctor is your forte. You're a natural.
________________________________________________________________________
"Ward, the Beaver blew up the 7-11 again."
"I'll have a talk with him Dear" |
Edited by - Capt. Nemo on 01/17/2007 01:18:08 AM |
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