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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
 Posted - 07/10/2009 : 4:53:08 PM
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I was listening to a radio show, and the lighter topic was 'Creative insults'
On I remember was "If crap was concrete, you'd be New York City!"
Another was 'If your brain was on a knife edge, It'd look like a bb on a six lane highway."
Or "He's as fast as a cement block"...said from the broadcast booth at a football game.
Soooo...any good lines you've heard from friends, family or co-workers?
"Vulcans : The designated drivers of the universe."
"Hoody Hoo, i waste 'em with my cross bow!" Bob Herzog- KODT
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Edited by - Flangepart on 07/10/2009 4:54:18 PM
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2009 : 10:59:20 PM
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I always liked "If you sent him out to f**k up he'd f**k up on the way out".
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I sleep now!! |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2009 : 07:16:10 AM
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A friend of mine and I were doing our usual bickering, and I turned around, bent over, and said, "Why don't you just kick my ass right now?"
She replied, "My foot would get stuck in there." |
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Pip
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
333 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2009 : 12:00:11 PM
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<during a door-slamming shout-fest over a nothing matter years ago>
Eva: "What is it when a blonde dyes her hair red? Artificial intelligence."
Mad: "What is it when a redhead dyes her hair blonde? Successful therapy."
Pip
"Shout for joy, if you get the chance." - U2 |
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niccolom
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
Canada
118 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2009 : 08:06:50 AM
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"Slow as molasses going up a hill in January." (You have to be from Canada, or the northern US states to appreciate this one).
"Two Bricks short of a full load."
"When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk."
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez, aka "Tuco," aka "the Rat," aka "Ugly," aka "il Cattivo" |
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Paul LoJ
Supreme Potentate
USA
420 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2009 : 1:52:20 PM
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"Not the sharpest elevator in the happy meal."
"If you were a breakfast cereal, you'd be Honey Bunches of Bitch."
"...What are you people doing in my corpse hatch?" |
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Gristle McThornbody
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
Germany
186 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2009 : 2:54:32 PM
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Many moons ago, at a sporting event for my office, a woman who...how shall I say this...had a slightly larger than average derriere, told one of her male co-workers to kiss her ass.
The response from the quick-witted and impolitic co-worker? "I haven't got all week!"
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!" |
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AnnGora
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
252 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2009 : 3:37:42 PM
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Comment from a cruel co-worker on the new girl:
"If you threw her in the creek, you'd skim ugly for a week."
She was bred in old Kentucky, but she's just a crumb up here. |
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Ericb
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
648 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2009 : 5:09:19 PM
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Sister-in-law's bumper sticker: "Stupidity Should Be Painful"
"I used to be With IT. But then they changed what IT was. Now what I'm with isn't IT, and what's IT seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to YOU!" - Grandpa Simpson
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Jay
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
USA
57 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2009 : 8:39:10 PM
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"They fell out of the stupid tree & hit every branch on the way down."
"The cheese done slid off his cracker."
"They couldn't find their own butt with both hands & a map."
To slow drivers in front of me: "Try the pedal on the right - the car'll move faster!"
I've got a jillion more.
Yes, I have a very low tolerance for stupid people.
Inane ramblings - http://www.blahdityblahblah.blogspot.com |
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