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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
 Posted - 10/25/2005 : 05:07:22 AM
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I hope this hasn't been mentioned before, because you'll (hehe) seem to have a better sense of Uwe Boll's crapness than I do. Anyway, here goes a very funny article by one of the writers involved in the making of "Alone in the dark", the film to soon replace Ed Wood's "Plan 9 from outer space" as the worst movie ever made.
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2649
I mention Ed Wood because I really expected Boll to be an Ed Wood-ish type of filmmaker, somebody who tries to do his best but is unaware of his total lack of skills. After reading this, I think the man is just an idiot. |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 10/29/2005 : 4:30:15 PM
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| I wonder if this guy's version of the script is available anywhere? It would be interesting to compare it to the final movie, if only to say, "See? These are two inexperience writers, and THEY have a better bead on things than Phooey Boll." |
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Oceanborn Angel
Altar Boy of Jabootu
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - 10/29/2005 : 4:33:43 PM
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I guess the best thing about Alone In the Dark is the Nightwish song on the soundtrack. Of course I highly recommend buying their album Once which has the song on it instead of wasting money on the soundtrack.
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Star Child: What do you compute, Space Ace?
Space Ace: Insufficient data at the moment, Star Child!
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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
833 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2005 : 12:38:46 AM
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Speaking of Boll, you might be interested in this:
[url]http://www.livejournal.com/users/foywonder/17941.html[/url]
And this:
[url]http://www.livejournal.com/users/foywonder/18647.html[/url]
Now Playing in Foyeurism at Schlocktoberfest.Com:
PATH OF (LEAST) DESTRUCTION - I survived a bad storm to write a review of a bad movie about a bad storm?
Plus: B-WARE THE BLOG is alive at http://www.livejournal.com/users/foywonder |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2005 : 09:52:02 AM
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Read it, Foy! Nice piece of work.
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2005 : 11:00:07 AM
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John Rhys-Davies and Ray Liotta got suckered into the next Boll epic?
Someone get the bomb squad in here quick, I think my head's about to explo--
(BOOM!!!) |
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GalahadPC
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
380 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2005 : 11:38:26 AM
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John Rhys-Davies, Ron Perlman, Ray Liotta, Matthew Lillard, Burt Reynolds... That's about the broadest spectrum of acting talent I can ever recall seeing in one movie. It's like Uwe Boll picked out his actors with some sort of mix-and-match rolodex mechanism.
On the upside, some of our heroes (as I assume them to be) along the bottom of the poster look suitably peasant-like. The game starts you off as a regular medieval fantasy schmoe in a fight for his own life, and building himself up as he goes along. If Boll sticks to that, we might be in for the kind of hero I'd like to see more of in movies: ordinary people caught up in extraordinary circumstances.
And just becaue I feel like mentioning it, I couldn't help but notice the woman on the left of the poster. (Sobieski, right? I'm horrible at recognizing actors...) Recently my sister went on a bit of a rant about movies where the female lead is given way too much screen time to gaze fondly at her hero as he goes off to do heroic stuff, with that sort of parted-lips vacant expression. Apparently people like that stuff, because here we have someone doing it right on the promotional art. |
Edited by - GalahadPC on 10/30/2005 11:49:14 AM |
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John Nowak
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1017 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2005 : 8:43:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Neville
I mention Ed Wood because I really expected Boll to be an Ed Wood-ish type of filmmaker, somebody who tries to do his best but is unaware of his total lack of skills. After reading this, I think the man is just an idiot.
Yeah, maybe he is -- in fact, I believe he is. Still, I'm sort of leery of this sort of thing -- we don't have Boll's side of the story, and I've got to admit I don't care for people who trash previous co-workers. Just say you don't care to work with him again and move on.
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We've always been united in stupidity. That's why there is no hope. But, then again, when has that ever stopped us?
-- hbrennan |
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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
833 Posts |
Posted - 10/30/2005 : 10:13:35 PM
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More insight into the magic of Boll courtesy of Ain't It Cool News after Quint attended a screening of BLOODRAYNE featuring a Q&A with Dr. Boll:
quote:
He said in the Q&A that the actors were all cast 2 weeks prior to shooting. This wasn't because he was forced to by circumstance or what have you, but this way he could get name actors easier. If, say, Ben Kingsley was considering a project that fell through and he had an offer to do a little vampire movie next week in Romania for a big salary, he was more likely to take it than if Boll had approached him 6 months before and he had a chance to look at his other options.
In this Q&A Boll also said it didn't matter who was in the movie as long as there was a name on the poster. "The characters don't matter." That's why your movies are reviled, dude. Your actor friend said that we "haters" are a "vocal minority." Look at the box office and tell me what majority loves Boll's films. And the reason for that is hidden in Boll's attitude about his films. "The characters don't matter." He thinks all movies are are boobs, blood and CG effects.
Now Playing in Foyeurism at Schlocktoberfest.Com:
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Plus: B-WARE THE BLOG is alive at http://www.livejournal.com/users/foywonder |
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twitterpate
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Canada
1026 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2005 : 2:11:47 PM
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Wow ... just wow. "The characters don't matter..."
THE CHARACTERS DON'T MATTER?????
I'm sure a few directors believe this, in their most secret heart of hearts, but they have enough sense to never, ever, admit it in public. To announce it proudly, as if you'd discovered some sort of cinematic touchstone, is mindboggling. The guy can't even fake artistic integrity. |
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John Nowak
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1017 Posts |
Posted - 10/31/2005 : 5:18:31 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by TheFoywonder
More insight into the magic of Boll courtesy of Ain't It Cool News after Quint attended a screening of BLOODRAYNE featuring a Q&A with Dr. Boll:
Fantastic! Can I trouble you for a link to the whole article? SOunds like one for the archives...
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We've always been united in stupidity. That's why there is no hope. But, then again, when has that ever stopped us?
-- hbrennan |
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