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KurtVon
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
387 Posts |
 Posted - 02/11/2006 : 8:34:37 PM
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Caught the opening of the Olympics last night (my daughter wanted to watch it desperately) and, while I'm no expert in performance art, it looked to me more like a parody worthy of an episode of The Simpsons than a real opening.
For those who missed it (or saw it but understood the "symbolism" enough to wonder what the hell I'm whining about) this is how it went to my eyes:
1. A guy in overalls and a welders mask hit a giant anvil with a hammer, each blow generating a 15 foot shower of flames (this was, by far, the coolest effect of the night).
2. Around him, hidden by a recessed section of bars, was a lagoon that was apparently filled with people on their backs with only their legs visible doing a somewhat lame synchronized swimming routine (lame becuase they couldn't actually move anywhere).
3. A number of rollerskaters in red shirts and grey parachute pants came out, danced out of rhythem with each other and the music, then gathered into a heart shape and pushed their hands outward to simulate beating. The effect didn't work at all and I was astounded this wasn't caught in rehearsal.
4. Several inline skaters with backpacks then came out, shooting flames from their heads as they zipped around the stage.
5. The stage cleared and a curtain opened revealing eight men in lederhosen playing those giant horns they use in Ricola commercials. The music actually went from atonal industrial to pleasant at this point.
6. Eight young girls, 7-10 y.o., also in lederhosen, marched up behind the men and started pulling ropes in their backs. From their heads emerged flagpoles, and flags of the eight nations bordering the alps rose above them.
7. The music shifted to a waltz and people in white balroom gowns and tuxes came out. Just as I started to think "Are those cow spots?" . . .
8. Cows on roller-skates flew across the stage. I'm sure the choreographer felt his artistic vision was compromised by the fact that, rather than live cows, these were merely life-size fiberglass statues.
At that point the commercial break kicked in and I noticed my daughter was asleep, so I took her up to bed and missed everything up to the prarade of nations. Still, what I had seen gave me giggles for the rest of the night.
If you did miss it, feel free to visit the olympic website and catch the opening ceremony photos to see the stunning visuals that go with this description.
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Dirk
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
237 Posts |
Posted - 02/11/2006 : 9:38:57 PM
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I still remember when the Summer Olympics was in Atlanta and, instead of releasing real doves, they had a bunch of people in gray jumpsuits run around the track, flapping fake doves on sticks above their heads.
You're right, KurtVon, the opening ceremonies were bizarre in the extreme. You missed the part where the performers formed the shape of a giant skier doing the skijump. That was actually pretty cool. The people who looked like the Shark Men from the original "Flash Gordon" serial climbing around on the giant Olympic rings was were NOT cool. Did you notice the "Tree People" that came out? It was like watching an elementary school play about the importance of healthy eating.
How about those dresses that the people holding the signs during the Parade of Nations wore? |
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KurtVon
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
387 Posts |
Posted - 02/11/2006 : 10:53:06 PM
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Ahg! You're right. My brain had completely shut out the memory of the ambulatory christmas trees doing a line dance in the background. There was also something even odder going on in the foreground that I still can't quite get my brain to accept as reality.
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Edited by - KurtVon on 02/12/2006 09:38:30 AM |
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andy80
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
81 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2006 : 02:09:14 AM
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| How about that guy who looked like Dynamo from The Running Man. |
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Jay
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
USA
57 Posts |
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Terrahawk
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
644 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2006 : 6:21:57 PM
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I've given up even watching the Olympics. The last opening ceremony I watched was the one in Spain with the archer shooting the flaming arrow to light the torch. The rest of the ceremony was pretty......lame if I remember correctly.
The ROPe gives you three options, convert, submit, or die. There is a fourth, resist. |
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Prankster
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Canada
727 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2006 : 01:04:20 AM
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You all should have been watching the final episodes of Arrested Development anyway.
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Check out my online comics at [URL]http://www.phantasmictales.com[/URL]! |
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John Doe
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
USA
91 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2006 : 6:07:23 PM
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The olympics have sucked ever since they split the winter and summer games apart.
my eyes!! the goggles do nothing!! |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2006 : 09:11:39 AM
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And did anyone else see the people in the white skin tight suits, with the huge weather baloones inflated, from the top of their heads?
Good grief!
The first thing i thought of,that would make that weird sight cool....was Ted nugent with flameing arrows, ignighting those HYDROGEN filled baloons! Now THATS entertainment!
"Cole, stop handing Dr. Doom the Keys to the Baxter building." Brent Sienna/PvP.
"I speak 34 different languages. But gibberish is not one of them."- Danger Mouse.
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tam1MI
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
558 Posts |
Posted - 02/18/2006 : 12:49:01 PM
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The ironic thing is, that the segments of the ceremony that just had performers performing were far more compelling and entertaining than all the symbolic crap. The flag throwers were awesome, Peter Gabriel's rendition of "Imagine" was great, and Luciano Pavarotti's rendition of Nesuun Dorma was one for the ages.
If they had just canned all the stupid dancing tree crap and stuck with stuff like that, the opening ceremony would actually have been mostly watchable. |
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