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Prankster
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
Canada
727 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 1:11:16 PM
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Putting all else aside...Conan the Destroyer is better than the original?!? DUDE. I really, really need to know your reasoning on that one.
These lists have always been stupid. It really does sound like this is more a list of "bad movies that are sequels" rather than "sequels that wrecked the original", but that still doesn't explain the absence of "Exorcist II".
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Check out my online comics at [URL]http://www.phantasmictales.com[/URL]! |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 1:37:37 PM
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| "The Hidden 2". Was it really necesary to take on of the coolest 80s actio-sci-fi films, crap all over it and send it direct to video? The only footage taken from the original are the opening credits, and even that stoods so much over the rest of it that you can't tell an aficionado shot the remaining 90 minutes. |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
1126 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 2:26:04 PM
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| Exorcist II is the GREATEST sequel of all time! SEE- James Earl Jones dressed as a bug! SEE- Richard Burton at his drunken scenery-chewing best! HEAR- catch-phrases like "bring your light down to my level." And Linda Blair, er, exploding into womanhood right on screen. It's almost the perfect film. |
Edited by - Sardu on 03/07/2006 2:27:53 PM |
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RVHorror
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
USA
532 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 4:48:36 PM
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I'm going to go out on a limb, here, and suggest one really terrible sequel: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
I saw this one for the first time recently, and was struck by just how utterly awful it was from start to finish. |
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Joliet Jake Blues
Minister of the Sacraments of Jabootu
 
Australia
41 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 9:23:39 PM
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Highlander II was a disgrace, as it undid the best thing (well, everything actually) about the original Highlander.
I still recall a 14yo friend telling a 14yo me "Its fantastic - the first movie I have seen where Sean Connery dies".
Of course, that was taken away by H-II.
I actually quite enjoyed Highlander 3, and it very sensibly completely ignored that a film such as H-II ever existed.
As to the poor sequels...well both Alien 3 and 4 make the grade too.
Also, I recently saw DTV sequels to Single White Female and Carlito's Way - WTF is up with that, any ideas?
Near as much fun would be a list of "Sequels better than they had any right to be".
For instance:
American Pie 2 Starship Troopers 2 (DTV)
"Age and guile beat youth, innocence and a bad haircut" - P.J. O'Rourke |
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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
USA
833 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 9:30:32 PM
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Since the topic is sequels gone wrong I figure this would be a good time to reprint an article I posted on my blog a month ago about the upcoming onslaught of made-for-DVD sequels to theatrical films, the majority of which do not warrant sequels.
quote: A sequel to the Eliza Dushku getting chased through the woods by inbred hillbilly psychopaths flick WRONG TURN has been discussed and dismissed off and on for quite some time now. I've never really understood why so many horror fans have been hankering (Yes, I just typed "hankering") for a sequel seeing as how the first film really wasn't anything special and didn't do very well at the box office. But in the world of DVD, nothing special and poor box office have rarely hinder a motion picture from making enough money to inspire risk management executives (formerly known as Hollywood producers) to get all creative by greenlighting a low budget, made-for-DVD sequel that's usually just a complete retread of the original film only cheaper and with less famous stars or completely unrelated to the original save for the faintest reference to the original's concept and made cheaper with less famous stars. For those of you that have been wanting a cheap, direct-to-DVD WRONG TURN sequel, good news, Fox is about to grant your wish. According to the site Video Business Online, WRONG TURN 2 is officially a-go and will be hitting DVD shelves anytime between this fall and God knows when, most likely next year.
But WRONG TURN 2 isn't coming alone. The fine folks at Fox have decided to cash in on some other semi-successful properties of theirs by unrolling a slate of cost effective (roughly $4 million budget each) made-for-DVD sequels.
Up first on April 24 is DR. DOLITTLE 3, which reunites original cast members Kyla Pratt and Kristen Wilson (Who?). Norm MacDonald is a returning voice (Whoopee!). Danny Bonaduce and Gary Busey are among new voices featured in the talking animal family film (Whether or not they'll be playing cocaine-addicted aardvarks is highly unlikely). The disc will be priced at $26.98. Eddie Murphy is not be involved which alone should instantly knock the price down at least $10 dollars.
Coming in June, the ***SARCASM ALERT*** highly anticipated LIKE MIKE 2. The cast will be entirely different from the first theatrical movie. Non-Martin Laurence BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE star Jascha Washington plays the lead in LIKE MIKE 2, which revisits the adventures of a kid finding magic basketball shoes. According to the plot synopsis, it sounds like the exact same movie as the original only budgetary restraints have replaced the ascension to NBA superstardom with an ascension to the heights of street ball fame. Is there even such a thing as being famous for playing street ball?
Also coming this summer: BEHIND ENEMY LINES 2. No Owen Wilson. No Gene Hackman. But you will get Peter Coyote and Keith David. The sequel centers around a North Korean nuclear conflict. I'm guessing either Coyote or David ends up getting trapped behind enemy lines.
Coming anytime between this fall and next year will be the previously mentioned WRONG TURN 2, THE SANDLOT 3, and a sequel to the 20+ year old comedy BACHELOR PARTY. I'm fairly certain Tom Hanks will not be returning; Adrian Zmed on the other hand...
And those are just the ones coming from Fox. Other made-for-DVD sequels on the way include:
THE NET 2.0 hit shelves this past Tuesday. No Sandra Bullock or anyone else you've ever heard of. The fact that the film is set in Istanbul should speak volumes of how cheaply made this one is. Oh, it was also directed by the son of the original's director so we have both a needless sequel and a little nepotism going on.
THE CUTTING EDGE 2: GOING FOR THE GOLD - "Christy Carlson Romano stars as Jackie, the daughter of Doug Dorsey, a fallen hockey player, and Kate Moseley, a tough-talking ice princess, who fell in love despite their differences on the ice rink. Following in the footsteps of her parents, Jackie has worked hard to make a name for herself on the ice but after she suffers from a potentially career-ending fall, Jackie must switch to pairs skating in order to make her dream of going to the Olympics a reality. Finding a partner in extreme in-line skater Alex Harrison, the two must put aside their love-hate feelings to push themselves harder than ever before to go for Olympic glory." On DVD March 28th. Premieres March 12th on the ABC Family Channel. I think it would be more fun if they reversed it and had the figure skater become a hockey player and employ competitive figure skating moves like the triple axle and the figure 8 to become a star player.
THE PRINCE & ME 2 is a sequel to a Julia Stiles comedy I barely even remember. "In the earlier film, Paige (Julia Stiles) - a midwestern college co-ed - falls in love with Edvard (Luke Mably), sans realizing that he is actually the Prince of Denmark. In this sequel, Paige (now played by neophyte Kam Heskin) and Eddie must confront a centuries-old Danish edict declaring that if a Danish prince marries a commoner, he must abdicate his throne. Clemency Burton-Hill and Maryam d'Abo co-star." Hits shelves on February 21st. They should delay the release to film a new ending in the vein of the show "Dynasty" when they did the infamous Moldavia Massacre cliffhanger, only this time it will be pissed off Islamic protesters that storm the wedding to protest that political cartoon. Paige then calls up what's her name from THE PRINCESS DIARIES and the two join forces to go on a revenge seeking Middle Eastern commando. Hillary Duff cameos as an Israeli special forces commander that helps train them for the violent mission. Corey Yuen will direct.
HOUSE PARTY 5
BEETHOVEN'S 6TH
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT 2 - Same plot, different characters, new cast. The less Ashton Kutcher the better.
FX 3 will bring back Brian Dennehy but replaces Bryan Brown with (Ugh!) Scott Caan.
CREEPSHOW 3 from the makers of liked by absolutely no one DAY OF THE DEAD 2: CONTAGIUM
AMERICAN PSYCHO 3 is being talked about but right now there doesn't seem to be anything new on the project.
BRING IT ON 3 - To quote the press release, "Britney's life turns from cheer-topia to cheer-tastrophe when her father's job takes her family to Crenshaw Heights. Suddenly she finds her self competing with her new school's cheer leader." To quote me, let it go already.
SAVE THE LAST DANCE 2 - Toronto shot sequel is the continuing story of Sara Johnson (COYOTE UGLYs Izabella Miko, replacing Julia "Bill O' Reilly's coming to shoot me in the face with a shotgun" Stiles), this time "Sara Johnason, the girl from a Chicago ghetto, who now attends Julliard to pursue her dream of becoming a professional ballerina. At the prestigious arts academy in New York, Sara must prove to herself and others that she is cut out for the competitive world of ballet. Monique Delacroix (former movie star Jacqueline Bisset), Sara's idol and teacher, pushes her to strive for greatness. She becomes almost a mother to Sara, much to the chagrin of Katrina, Monique's current protege. When Sara meets Miles, a young guest lecturer who has a strong impact on her, she begins to question the path she has chosen." My lack of a vagina assures that I will never even look in the general direction of the DVD box when this comes out.
WALKING TALL 2 & 3 - Yep, not one, but two sequels and the most ironic thing of all is the storyline: an ex-wrestler whose wife wants him to settle down moves to his home town in Tennessee where he plans to go into business with his father. When he discovers all sorts of corruption going on he sets out to become the new sheriff in order to clean up the town. Amazing, that's the plot to the original 1973 WALKING TALL which was based on the life of the real life Buford Pusser, almost all of which outside of the basic concept was completely scuttled for the lousy 2004 remake starring The Rock. Ex-Hercules Kevin Sorbo was originally slated to star but dropped out. If history repeats itself from the last time Sorbo bowed out of a mediocre action film, Patrick Swayze will take his place. Hey, where is BLACK DOG 2 anyway?
HOLLOW MAN 2 starring Christian Slater. I guess he didn't learn his lesson with ALONE IN THE DARK. "A Seattle detective and a biologist who are on the run from a dangerous invisible assassin gone rogue as well as the government forces that created him." Christian Slater plays the invisible assassin to Fastlane's Peter Facinelli Seattle cop. Fangoria reported a rumor that the detective eventually ends up invisble too leading to a showdown between two hollow men. That could actually prove to be highly entertaining. Think about it; a fight scene between two characters you can't see, just junk flying all around the room with voiceovers and sound effects. Genius!
I'LL ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER - "Four teens from a small Colorado town will be victimized by a phantom menace one year after a July Fourth prank gone awry kills one of their buddies. Against the protestation of one of them, the group agree to keep this secret, only to find their friendships torn apart from the strain. The next Independence Day, just before the town's annual carnival, the four receive intimidating communiqués indicating someone is aware of what happened before. The group suspect the cousin of the dead friend, only to discover they are very much on the wrong track. Can the friends survive and figure out the identity of their tormentor before they end up dead themselves?" Without Jennifer Love Hewitt's cleavage there is no reason to bother. Have you ever seen I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER? It's really a 90-minute Jennifer Love Hewitt jigglefest masquerading as a slasher flick.
MEN IN BLACK: MAURY ISLAND with Rip Torn back as the MIB honcho, Tommy Lee Jones nowhere to be found, and D.L. Hughley in the Will Smith role. I've found no evidence proving this one actually being made but it has been talked about. I know MIB 2 wasn't very good but did it really kill the franchise to the point of Sony making this? I find it hard to believe that Sony could release the next FAST & THE FURIOUS sequel to theaters yet relegate MIB to DVD shelves even if Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith passed on returning for another. My suggestion for DTV MIB sequel: R. Lee Ermey as Agent F and Stoney Jackson as Agent U.
ROADHOUSE 2: THE LAST CALL - The sequel will fix on a college graduate who takes over his uncle's bar - slick reward for several years of education, as usual - but butts heads with a local crime boss who wants to take the drinking hole over. Christina Applegate's soon to be ex-husband Jonathan Schaech stars. All I know is that there damn well better be at least one monster truck rampage in this one.
WARGAMES 2: THE DEADLIEST KEY - Teenage computer-whiz Cory Carpenter is on a class trip in Europe when the authorities wrongly mistake him for a cyber criminal. Now, Carpenter's on the run, but thanks to his beautiful classmate Anne and his nerdy best mate Dale Darrow, manages to stay one step ahead of the law. This sounds more like a sequel to THE NET or HACKERS. It doesn't even sound like there's any actual wargames involved. What's next, D.A.R.Y.L. 2, only it'll be about a kid named Daryl that goes on the run after getting ahold of a computer disc for a cyborg soldier prototype that bad guys are will to kill him for? Say...
UNDISPUTED 2 with SPAWN's Michael Jai White as former Heavyweight Champ George "Iceman" Chambers who finds himself in jail on trumped up charges. Oh, it's a Russian jail because the cheapo sequel was shot in Bulgaria. Chambers soon discovers that the Mafia controls the jail and... I'm sure you can fill in the rest of the blanks.
AIR BUD: AUSSIE RULES in development. This time the pooch will reportedly get involved in rugby and martial arts. I really think they need to do one where Buddy the dog trains to compete in the Ultimate Fighting Championship. If I was in charge of production I guarantee you that AIR BUD: ULTIMATE BITER would become a reality.
And finally, a sequel to the Luke Perry bull riding flick 8 SECONDS. Whether they call it ANOTHER 8 SECONDS or 8 SECONDS 2 or some other oddly numerical title remains to be seen. Whatever they call it, the fact that this one is even being talked about seems especially strange considering the original was based on the true story of a real life cowboy who got gored to death in the bullring. Perhaps the sequel will have him coming back from the grave to see revenge on the bull that killed him or something like that?
Now keep in mind that this list doesn't even include the unlimited number of Disney sequels on the way and I'm sure there are even more DVD sequels being discussed that will magically appear on DVD shelves leaving us perplexed in much the same way most of us reacted upon first seeing the box for 8MM 2 and SINGLE WHITE FEMALE 2. And again, the question remains - HOW MANY OF THESE FILMS WILL STAR ROBIN DUNNE?
Now Playing in Foyeurism at Schlocktoberfest.Com: 2 TURBO 2 TEEN - Turbo Teen returns one last time! Plus: B-WARE THE BLOG is alive at http://www.livejournal.com/users/foywonder |
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RVHorror
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
USA
532 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 11:33:13 PM
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I wonder how many of those DTV things were originally called something else, and someone thought that tacking a "Part 2 [or whatever]" on them would improve pre-sales or something. Wasn't that the case with "Day of the Dead 2: Contagium"?
Also, is "contagium" a real word? |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
1126 Posts |
Posted - 03/07/2006 : 11:39:48 PM
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| That was the case for Saw 2, for sure. It's weird what will wind up developing into a series, especially in horror- The Mangler has had, like 4 sequels. What's up with that?? |
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Capt. Nemo
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
630 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 12:31:42 AM
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My reaction to the Wargames sequel:
SACRILEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are these "filmmakers" dumb or what?
____________________________________________________________________
"Ward, the Beaver blew up the 7-11 again."
"I'll have a talk with him Dear" |
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dconner
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
   
USA
104 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 08:48:31 AM
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| I wonder if Netflix will be the death of awful direct-to-video sequels? I know since I've started using it, I don't even have a vague awareness of what DTV movies exist anymore. |
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governor_breck
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
  
USA
79 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 09:55:50 AM
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quote: Originally posted by dconner
I wonder if Netflix will be the death of awful direct-to-video sequels? I know since I've started using it, I don't even have a vague awareness of what DTV movies exist anymore.
I know that Netflix has cause me to watch more godawful DTV sequels than ever before. Case in point: Cruel Intentions 2, the pilot to the aborted Cruel Intentions TV series with some nudity tossed in. It was so bad, I had to add Cruel Intentions 3 to my queue. Any sequel to Return of the Living Dead past number three should be skipped. That's ROTLDIV: Necropolis and ROTLDV: Rave to the Grave. Man, did those stink. |
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kdraut
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
USA
343 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 11:12:36 AM
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Die Hard 2 Lethal Weapon 3 Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows Most of the Howling films
http://www.kdraut.com/photo |
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Ken HPoJ
Supreme Potentate
    
USA
1530 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 11:43:36 AM
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I find Conan the Barbarian a ponderous bore. I'll go with Ebert on this one: "The first Conan movie, CONAN THE BARBARIAN, was a dark and gloomy fantasy about the shadows of prehistory. This second film is sillier, funnier, and more entertaining. "
PEGGY: I don't see how having a girl on the team would ruin it. Did a woman judge ruin the Supreme Court? HANK: Yes, and that woman's name was Earl Warren.
--King of the Hill |
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hbrennan
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
Philippines
1455 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 2:15:39 PM
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I could go for a sequel to "Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny". But since that doesn't exist, I'd like to just say that "The Son of Kong" just irritates the hell out me.
"...yet it hadn't destroyed his brain." re: Charles "The Butcher" Benton (1956)
http://henrybrennan.blogspot.com/ |
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Prankster
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
Canada
727 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 3:00:05 PM
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Both movies are ridiculous in their own way, but the original pulls it off because it takes itself seriously--something that, for a change, is NOT a detriment but rather a virtue. It's like someone persuading you of some wacked-out opinion simply by the force of their personality and their obvious sincerity.
The sequel lacks that sincerity. It also piles on the goofy special FX and "fantasy" stuff (which I often like, but the restraint displayed by the first one in its use of fantasy elements and FX is quite effective, in much the same way that the LOTR films are) and tries to produce a family-friendly Conan film, which is always a mistake. The only reason Conan survived for so long was because of the uncompromising philosophy and unrestrained passion of its author. Take that away, and you're left with nothing but raw silliness.
The sequel also contains the...freakish...androgynous...THING that is Grace Jones, which almost automatically makes it worse.
I'm not even a particular fan of the original, but I would classify it as a successful film, whereas the sequel feels like exactly what it is--a watered-down cash-grab made by bandwagon-jumpers. They even manage to make the score (the one bit of incontestable brilliance from the original) sound cheesy.
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Check out my online comics at [URL]http://www.phantasmictales.com[/URL]! |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
    
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 3:15:08 PM
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quote: Originally posted by Ken HPoJ
I find Conan the Barbarian a ponderous bore. I'll go with Ebert on this one: "The first Conan movie, CONAN THE BARBARIAN, was a dark and gloomy fantasy about the shadows of prehistory. This second film is sillier, funnier, and more entertaining. "
No way.
OK, I'll elaborate, somebody took poor Richard Fleischer, gave him a list of the things that gave the first movie its own personality and they tossed him somewhere in the desert with zero budget in order to make Dino de Laurentiis' darker fantasies come true. The first movie had western landscapes, sword and sorcery played the serious way, fantastic elements that at least are convincing, a terrific villain, several interesting secondary characters and a scene where Conan hits a camel.
The second film has landscapes that change from shot to shot of the same scene, swords that produce lots of blood one scene and none in the rest, magical spells that appear out of nowhere, four (!) silly villains, two of those are a guy in a green rubber mask and an animatronic that resembles a unicorn, Grace Jones and a scene where the camel takes revenge on Conan. Yawn.
This said, I think "Red Sonja" is actually an improvement over the second Conan film. At least it warns right from the beginning that everything is gonna be played the campy way by casting Brigitte Nielsen as Sonja and it doesn't suffer from the continuity issues that plague "Conan the Destroyer". |
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