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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
833 Posts |
 Posted - 05/24/2006 : 05:45:34 AM
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Premiered on DVD yesterday. Stars C. Thomas Howell and Lance Henriksen. From The Asylum, a DTV company that has spent the last year specializing in ripping off big screen movies, usually horror movies. I'd say I feel sorry for Lance Henriksen but he's made his bed. He'll also be appearing in another Asylum production coming out this July called PIRATES OF TREASURE ISLAND. Wanna guess what big screen blockbuster that one is piggybacking off of?
As for THE DA VINCI TREASURE, they manage to try and rip-off both THE DA VINCI CODE and NATIONAL TREASURE in one fell swoop. Both of those films end up looking like RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK by comparison. Here's a taste:
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I wonder how all the people upset with THE DA VINCI CODE would feel about a movie where someone steals the Shroud of Turin by crumpling it up into a ball and stuffing it into a laundry sack? Or hearing it referred to as being nothing more than "a stinkin' rag"? Or that the Shroud of Turin is actually a treasure map Leonardo Da Vinci created as a cover for an invisible holographic cryptograph than can only be viewed with a set of crude 3-D decoder goggles that he also invented? Or seeing the protagonists somehow survive a fiery explosion at the film’s end by using the Shroud of Turin as a protective tarp? Actually, that last part would seemingly prove the Shroud's divinity considering there's no logical way in which they could have possibly survived an explosion of such magnitude that it reduces an underground treasure chamber into a half mile wide smoldering crater.
Suffice to say, THE DA VINCI TREASURE is a world class turkey that I suspect could only have been salvaged had it been an Andy Sidaris film. You can read the full review by clicking the link: [url]http://foywonder.livejournal.com/45222.html[/url]
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nshumate
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
464 Posts |
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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
833 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2006 : 07:53:09 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by nshumate
These people... are my gods.
You've obviously never seen many of The Asylum's productions. They'll make an atheist out of you yet.
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2006 : 08:16:11 AM
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Cool! This is exactly what those people who take The Da Vinci Code too seriously need... a parody.
And if the pay good money to Lance Henriksen, I won't be the one who complains. |
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Zev
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2006 : 2:02:19 PM
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Didn't they prove a while ago that the Shroud of Turin was a fake?
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quote:
Originally posted by TheFoywonder
Now they need to make a movie where soldiers in Iraq actually find one of Saddam Hussein's secret underground chemical weapons facilities only to find it overrrun with big mutant sand spiders. And the the film will be called IRAQNID!
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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
833 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2006 : 4:58:54 PM
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quote:
Cool! This is exactly what those people who take The Da Vinci Code too seriously need... a parody.
I agree, but this isn't that parody. Just a different type of badness.
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Didn't they prove a while ago that the Shroud of Turin was a fake?
If it was then the people that made this movie didn't get the memo. Much arguing is spent on how legit the Shroud is.
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2006 : 8:18:36 PM
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Actually, I think that sounds pretty cool, in a classic "B" kind of way *g*
Coming soon-
Eraserhead: The Musical!! |
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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
833 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2006 : 9:09:20 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Sardu
Actually, I think that sounds pretty cool, in a classic "B" kind of way *g*
I went into expecting the same thing and there were a few moments here and there when you saw b-movie goodness trying to creep out from behind the dreck. Didn't quite work out that way. And what I wrote about the director's direction is what really soured me on it. Bad movie. Dull movie. Needed the Andy Sidaris touch.
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Danitsu
Minister of the Sacraments of Jabootu
40 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2006 : 11:45:00 PM
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Well, Andy Sidaris directed the Picasso Trigger. I'm sure some people will confuse it as a Da Vinci Code ripoff just by the name.
"If you get served and serve them back...Then IT'S ON!!!" |
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New Hinda
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Israel
469 Posts |
Posted - 05/25/2006 : 05:52:40 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by TheFoywonder
He'll also be appearing in another Asylum production coming out this July called PIRATES OF TREASURE ISLAND. Wanna guess what big screen blockbuster that one is piggybacking off of?
If Asylum pictures wanted to rip off PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, why didn't they film Henry S. Whitehead's "Seven Turns in a Hangman's Rope?" |
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BrainFromArous
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
USA
102 Posts |
Posted - 05/25/2006 : 3:07:01 PM
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Side note: The RCC itself takes no position on whether or not the Shroud is genuine.
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Boards don't hit back.
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twitterpate
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Canada
1026 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2006 : 10:37:50 PM
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I saw a magazine yesterday touting "The da Vinci Code Diet". I try not to think about such things, because it makes my stomach feel queasy.
Maybe that's how the diet works? |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2006 : 02:55:17 AM
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| I'm susprised they didn't market the Da Vinci Code Breakfast Cereal yet. Hey, Bill & Ted had their own, didn't they? |
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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
833 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2006 : 04:29:42 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Neville
I'm susprised they didn't market the Da Vinci Code Breakfast Cereal yet.
"Mmmm...sacrilicious"
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Culfy
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
United Kingdom
113 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2006 : 05:34:38 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by twitterpate
I saw a magazine yesterday touting "The da Vinci Code Diet". I try not to think about such things, because it makes my stomach feel queasy.
Maybe that's how the diet works?
Private Eye, a british satirical magazine, featured the "Da Vinci Code Trouser Press" with an endorsement from the Vatican saying "If I was to condemn any trouser press as blasphemous, it would be this one"
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Notes from a small cavy
www.culfy.blogspot.com |
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Gristle McThornbody
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
Germany
186 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2006 : 11:01:04 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by TheFoywonder
quote:
Originally posted by Neville
I'm susprised they didn't market the Da Vinci Code Breakfast Cereal yet.
"Mmmm...sacrilicious"
<angrily wipes coffee off of monitor after laughter-induced spit take>
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!" |
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