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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
 Posted - 09/06/2006 : 1:01:38 PM
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...and he's just beaten up the webmaster from Spanish bad movie website CineCutre.
Let's remember Boll promised to fight his critics in a box ring and used some of the footage on his upcoming "Postal 2" movie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjM2w5FOPQw
Ken, want to participate? All the guy wants are a couple of reviews and you'll be considered for a fight. |
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Triviachamp
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
254 Posts |
Posted - 09/06/2006 : 3:06:37 PM
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| He Won? LOL |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 09/06/2006 : 8:29:26 PM
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Well, the webmaster can tell Uwe this: "The bruises will heal up nicely. But you'll always be an untalented hack who couldn't direct a school play."
And Boll deserves every bit of criticism he gets. I broke down and rented Bloodrayne earlier this week. First time I've seen this guy's work from beginning to end, and I am amazed at his incompetence.
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John Nowak
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1017 Posts |
Posted - 09/06/2006 : 8:44:08 PM
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And BradH812? I will say, with absolute seriousness, that of the three Boll films I've seen, BloodRayne is the best. Hands down. Not the funniest, not the most entertaining; it is the one which is closest to being an actual, honest-to-Sekhmet film.
Alone in the Dark is worse. House of the Dead is much worse.
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We've always been united in stupidity. That's why there is no hope. But, then again, when has that ever stopped us?
-- hbrennan |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2006 : 06:21:49 AM
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I've seen little bits and pieces of House of the Dead, and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It was one of those things that you watch with your jaw dropped in amazement.
The jerk has at least two movies lined up and ready to go. There's something seriously wrong with the world. |
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KurtVon
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
387 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2006 : 4:42:28 PM
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Hold on now. Didn't he say that BloodRayne is the first movie he produced that had to make a profit? To the best of my recollection it did an extremely opposite thing.
When someone says that XXX has to make money and it doesn't, there is a public expectation that there will be some sort of consequence beyond looking stupid for a while (which, due to previous behavior translates to "no concequences" for Mssr. Boll).
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John Nowak
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1017 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2006 : 6:13:11 PM
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Yeah. House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark are a completely different film experience than BloodRayne. BloodRayne is sort of like when a beloved cat drops an almost-dead mouse in your lap; you know what the point was, even if you can't take it in the spirit in which it was given. I'll bet that with a third week of shooting and more time in editing, BloodRayne might have been decent, trashy fun, like Masque of the Red Death. I don't think there's a great movie somewhere in BloodRayne, but there is probably an amusing popcorn-muncher. Maybe I'm optimistic.
House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark is more like a beloved cat leaping in your lap and turning inside-out. They are films that make you question your own sanity: just watching them made me wonder if I had, perhaps, suffered a minor stroke. Watching them with a friend would have been comforting. Or not.
Me: Am I losing my mind, or does this film make no sense?
Friend: Tiddlywink upshot in banana-tree?
I have some sarcastic friends.
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We've always been united in stupidity. That's why there is no hope. But, then again, when has that ever stopped us?
-- hbrennan |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2006 : 9:22:05 PM
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See, I'm one of those people that thinks a cat jumping in your lap and turning inside-out is interesting. What I like about Uwe is that he is a man with a vision. We don't know what it is, but he actually sees SOMETHING up on that screen. I love his stuff.
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
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John Nowak
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1017 Posts |
Posted - 09/08/2006 : 3:36:02 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Sardu
What I like about Uwe is that he is a man with a vision.
Unfortunately, I think he actually believes he is a "director" who makes "films."
I mean, I'm probably one of the least picky film viewers you could find. I'm never happier than when I'm sitting with a bowl of popcorn and watching a rubber suit or lousy CGI. Kaliman made sense to me. Almost. Boll is actually below my standards, and he fascinates me because of it.
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We've always been united in stupidity. That's why there is no hope. But, then again, when has that ever stopped us?
-- hbrennan |
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RVHorror
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
532 Posts |
Posted - 09/08/2006 : 3:43:44 PM
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| Alone in the Dark had some clever touches (the shoot-outs in almost total darkness) and some nice shots (I'm thinking of the long zoom out from the villain's face, passing through the forest and showing the running dog lackeys). But given the sheer stupidity of the rest of it, I'm pretty sure those were accidents, or included for other reasons ("the lighting guy's check bounced so he didn't show up"). |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 09/08/2006 : 8:18:24 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by John Nowak
Unfortunately, I think he actually believes he is a "director" who makes "films."
Yes! He is a true successor to Ed Wood. Unfortunately Alone In The Dark was marred by the efforts of a semi-competent crew. In BloodRayne I felt Uwe took backs the reigns of control and imposed much more lack of ability on the project in general, and generally made it much more entertaining.
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
Edited by - Sardu on 09/09/2006 12:29:03 AM |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 09/08/2006 : 10:48:58 PM
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| Well, I couldn't resist, and I'm gonna go ahead and write a review of Bloodrayne. I'm gonna lay the blame for this pile o' stuff at Uwe's door. The script was a joke, but I think Guinevere Turner realized she was working with a nitwit who thinks he's the next Goddard, and she put in as little effort as possible. |
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BrainFromArous
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
USA
102 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2006 : 4:31:19 PM
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I approve of this if we can require Uwe Boll to defend his title in order to ever direct another movie.
It shouldn't take long to find someone who can beat Boll into mystery meat - that is, once we get outside of the ranks of webmasters and internet movie buffs. ;)
On second thought, isn't Andreas Borntreger of Badmovies.org a combat infantryman in the US Marines? I bet he can throw a punch. I'd pay to see that.
Even better, let's put Boll in the ring with Rob Zombie, Michael Bay and whoever directed X-Men 3. Give them all Bowie knives dipped in cobra venom. Make it a last man standing sort of thing. Then shoot the last man standing.
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Boards don't hit back.
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