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brandywine
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
56 Posts |
 Posted - 10/26/2006 : 11:53:01 AM
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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285531/
Duddits: Un urm ills urld
Henry: One worm kills the world?
Duddits: Un urm ills urld!
Henry: Just one worm can affect the whole world? Not just Boston? Not Massachusetts? Or the Northeast? You mean it's not a reginal problem?
Duddits: No.
Henry: Are you talkin' west of the Missippi?
Duddits: Yes!
Dr. Henry Devlin: Southern hemisphere too?
Duddits: Dude! I said "un urm ills urld!"
Captain Owen: Do I make a left here?
Henry: Shut up Owen! You'll be dead in a half an hour anyway.
Either someone here, or at Agony Booth. Because, goddamn, it makes Space Munity look like a lost Bergman. This is like... celestially bad. We're talking magical retards and aliens that gestate in your bowels, making you fart, AND CRAWL OUT OF YOUR ASS. Your ASS. Then there's evil red mist, aliens with Bond-villian upper-crust accents and Superior English Twit dialogue, and confusing magical realism with no place in an alien in even sci-fi tale.
"Jesus-Christ-bananas, some f--- arow this is turning into."
I can't... I can't do it justice. Just see it. It's AWESOME. |
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Ken HPoJ
Supreme Potentate
USA
1530 Posts |
Posted - 10/26/2006 : 1:53:51 PM
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I have to admit, I've heard 'good' things about this. Maybe I'll give it a look when we re-open.
PEGGY: I don't see how having a girl on the team would ruin it. Did a woman judge ruin the Supreme Court?
HANK: Yes, and that woman's name was Earl Warren.
--King of the Hill |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 10/26/2006 : 3:08:32 PM
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It also features Morgan Freeman with eyebrows reminiscent of R. Lee Ermey's, and Tom Sizemore playing *gasp* a positive character.
Has Lawrence Kasdan been abducted by aliens? |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 10/26/2006 : 3:43:56 PM
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Not only was that just a plain awful movie, but there must've been some horrible ghostwriter posing as King for the book.
The movie was jaw-droppingly, made-for-TV bad.
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JazzyJ
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
USA
114 Posts |
Posted - 10/26/2006 : 5:39:03 PM
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I am one of those very rare people who actually liked the novel.
[ducks incoming tomatoes]
No, really! I mean, I am not claiming award-winning status here, and it is definitely not the crown jewel in the King cannon, but I had fun reading it.
But WOW! is the movie bad.
Actually, the fact that I liked the book makes the movie that much more painful for me. Most likely, this is one book that should never have been translated into film, given the s&*(#-weasels (the aforementioned parasites that exit your body in a rather rude fashion) and other bizarre elements.
In fact, this is one of only two movies in the last 5 years (and that covers a LOT of movies) that almost inspired me to a reader review, it infuriated me so much. However, the prospect of this film getting a Kenema (apporpriate, given the weasels) inspires me with wild glee. Please, Ken, I will PAY you...
P.S. The other film was the 1998 "Breeders", which features Dishman-like camera work, awful effects, lousy dialog, bad acting, the works -- a true Jabootu feast!
Jazzy J
Signature currently under construction...
Please return later for exciting new content! |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 10/26/2006 : 7:41:50 PM
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Well, I know what I'm watching tomorrow.
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 10/26/2006 : 7:43:33 PM
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OMG! Have you looked at the credits?? This involved the talents of Lawrence Kasden and William Goldman!!! For the love of gawd, how???
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 10/26/2006 : 9:10:14 PM
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| JazzyJ, you just coined a great new term for this site. The idea of a bad movie getting a well-deserved Kenema is too good for words! |
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brandywine
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
56 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2006 : 6:43:35 PM
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| Jazzy, maybe you could explain a few things to me: Like WTF were the Aliens and their Evil Plan about. I mean: retards, psychics, crap-weasels, 30s comic book green men, red mist, weird rashes on animals, Mr. Gray, and worms in the water supply. The whole thing really never gelled for me. I was seriously at a loss for how it was all connected. |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 10/28/2006 : 8:31:22 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by brandywine
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285531/
Duddits: Un urm ills urld
Henry: One worm kills the world?
Duddits: Un urm ills urld!
Henry: Just one worm can affect the whole world? Not just Boston? Not Massachusetts? Or the Northeast? You mean it's not a reginal problem?
Duddits: No.
Henry: Are you talkin' west of the Missippi?
Duddits: Yes!
Dr. Henry Devlin: Southern hemisphere too?
Duddits: Dude! I said "un urm ills urld!"
Captain Owen: Do I make a left here?
Henry: Shut up Owen! You'll be dead in a half an hour anyway.
Out of curiosity, what WAS this jerk trying to say?
And why the hell can't people who give prophetic warnings in horror movies give a SIMPLE, straight-forward warning?
Oh yeah, because then no one would be murdered/posessed/tortured and then the movie would be over.
(I think that should be a movie term: "Because Then The Movie Would Be Over")
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 10/28/2006 : 9:25:31 PM
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That could make a good Scream type post-modern horror twist- for once a guy gets out a good clear warning ("Don't go in that house- there are flesh eating zombie lawyers in there!!") and then people completely ignore him/her and walk right into their doom. They're going to do it anyway, so why not??
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
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zombiewhacker
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1475 Posts |
Posted - 10/29/2006 : 10:10:22 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ken HPoJ
I have to admit, I've heard 'good' things about this. Maybe I'll give it a look when we re-open.
No-no, Ken, you still have to review Curse of Bigfoot first. You promised. |
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brandywine
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
56 Posts |
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