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brandywine
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
56 Posts |
 Posted - 02/20/2007 : 4:49:10 PM
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| Jabootu been doing obscurer films lately. I'd like to see some of the legendary big-budget flops recapped: Heaven's Gate, Water World, The Postman, Ishtar... I feel like I've known always known Ishtar sucks, though it was made the year I was born and I've never seen it, just from popular culture at large telling me all my life that Ishtar sucks. Like, when I learned about the Babylonian goddess Ishtar in 9th grade, my first thought was "Oh, that's where they got the name of the movie I hear really sucks." |
Edited by - brandywine on 02/20/2007 4:54:17 PM
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 02/20/2007 : 10:18:25 PM
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The only one of these I've seen was Heaven's Gate. It had some great moments and some Jabootu-worthy ones. I think the behind-the-scenes stuff was ultimately more interesting than the movie itself.
I did see some bits and pieces of Waterworld and Postman, and they certainly look like the Dark Movie God "blessed" Kevin Costner twice. |
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Food
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - 02/20/2007 : 10:26:02 PM
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| I watched The Postman, and it's just plain boring. The setting never really felt post-apocalyptic, and for a post-apocalyptic movie, the plot is really rather dull. Yuck. |
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Joliet Jake Blues
Minister of the Sacraments of Jabootu
Australia
41 Posts |
Posted - 02/20/2007 : 10:30:57 PM
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I saw Ishtar on a date in 1987 or thereabouts - we were 10 mins late and throughout the whole movie I thought "this doesn't make sense because we missed the first 10 mins".
Later, I found out the truth.
"Age and guile beat youth, innocence and a bad haircut" - P.J. O'Rourke |
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RossM
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
427 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2007 : 09:27:54 AM
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I actually saw the long full version of Heaven's Gate. That version does make more sense than the theatrical bomb did, but it still doesnt make it any good. Scenes go on and on and on and then come to no point at all. I also saw the long version of Dune and that also makes more sense than does the released version but like HG it does not make Dune any good. Its all mirk and screaming. These two movies are pure Jabootu diamonds. Its easy to pick on some low budget independent stinker, but HG and Dune truly deserve to be drawn and quartered.
rossM |
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Bobby-G
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
904 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2007 : 1:12:49 PM
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I saw THE POSTMAN at a free screening and it wasn't horrible, but it was long and not particularly memorable, however, the Trailer I saw for THE POSTMAN was a jaw-dropping; I think it was at least 10 minutes long, and it screamed "IMPORTANT FILM BY ONE OF THE GREAT FILMAKERS OF OUR TIME!!!"
I don't think the movie has enough stuff to make it worthy of a Jabootu review, but the trailer (at least the one I saw)sure does.
Rob |
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jackspencerjr
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
262 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2007 : 3:20:59 PM
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| Guys, Doogal is the worst movie ever made. That's all there is to it. |
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brandywine
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
56 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2007 : 3:22:53 PM
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quote:
I saw THE POSTMAN at a free screening and it wasn't horrible
The Simpsons disagree:
#Lisa watches "The Postman" on a big screen TV.#
Lisa: Ooh, I hear this really sucks. [she presses a button for director's commentary and Kevin Costner appears in a split screen]
Costner: I'm sorry. I am really sorry. Ugh, ah, I don't know what I was thinking, but "Field of Dreams" was good, wasn't it? Made us all believe again.
Lisa: Oh, poor Mr. Costner. He tries so hard.
Costner: Aw, thanks, you're sweet to say that.
Lisa: Uh ... where are you?
Costner: [steps out from behind the TV] I'm back here. Hi, will you bring me a sandwich? Please? No, no crusts. |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2007 : 4:02:12 PM
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I actually enjoyed the long cut of Heaven's Gate. Please, try to understand. I was tired of watching mediocre conventional movies at the time, and its lack of focus and complete disregard of any narrative purpose made it unexpectedly refreshing.
Waterworld and The Postman are fair game, though. Waterworld's opening scenes were promising, but after the Smokers' attack to the settlement every scene becomes sillier and more childish.
As for The Postman... I'm convinced there's a pretty decent and watchable 90' film in there, but hang me if I can find it.
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Edited by - Neville on 02/21/2007 4:04:55 PM |
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Terrahawk
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
644 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2007 : 7:04:04 PM
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Sorry, but Dune isn't really Jabootu worthy. I believe Lynch actually captures the atmosphere of the book. Now I do admit that the effects are laughable, but overall the film conveys the essence of the book. Now had Lynch done gotten to do it as a TV miniseries like the one on SciFi, I think it would have turned out better since it really is a miniseries type story. Watch the SciFi mini and you can see that it just lacks the atmosphere of the movie, even though it hews more closely to the book. It is an interesting study two different approaches to the same material.
- While science has societal benefits, science is not a social virtue. - |
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Joliet Jake Blues
Minister of the Sacraments of Jabootu
Australia
41 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2007 : 10:40:30 PM
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oh Terrahawk, I disagree.
Great set design, but Jabootu's fingerprints are all over everything else about Lunch/Smithee's Dune!
"Age and guile beat youth, innocence and a bad haircut" - P.J. O'Rourke |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2007 : 05:51:05 AM
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| I agree with Terrahawk. With more running time, Lynch could have avoided the two things that IMHO kill the movie, the constant voiceover in the first half and the massive plot holes in the second one. I'll be the first to admit that the De Laurintiis' version, which runs for three hours solves neither of these problems, but it was a quick job in order to recover some of the investment, not a competent new cut of the movie. |
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brandywine
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
56 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2007 : 10:22:54 AM
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The point is, we need more that are famous throughout the world for stinking. Why don't have any of Ed Wood's works here? Plan 9? ("Visits? That would indicate visitors.") Glen/Glenda? Bride of the Monster? Dr. Acula? Okay, that last one never got off the ground. (Ed Wood is one of my favorite movies)
"Why if I had half a chance, I could make an entire movie using this stock footage. The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called in to solve the mystery.
"You forgot the octopus."
"No, no, I'm saving that for my big underwater climax."
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Edited by - brandywine on 02/24/2007 10:27:17 AM |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2007 : 2:46:47 PM
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Ah. Glad someone cut Neville out of that noose...
DUNE works both ways. It captures the spirit of the books AND provides soft, tasty cheese.
Bree? Gorgonzola? Maby Jarlsburg...
Entertaining no matter how you cut it.
Marvin the Paranoid Android to Buzz Lightyear "Too infinity and beyond-i've been there, its rubbish!"
"Hoody Hoo, i waste 'em with my cross bow!" Bob Herzog- KDOT
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Ken HPoJ
Supreme Potentate
USA
1530 Posts |
Posted - 02/28/2007 : 4:49:58 PM
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Hello, ev'rybody!
Good news, this weekend's review will at least be a well-known movie. I gotta say, though, the films listed here just don't speak to me. Most of them I just find extremely lame, like Waterworld. (I haven't seen the Postman, though.) As for the Ed Wood stuff, it is a weird absence I've long been aware of, but I guess I'm worried I'll have nothing to add. I mean, Plan 9? What has't been covered there a thousand times over.
Dune has it's moments, mostly due to the plot compression. I always liked how they introduced Duncan for about one minute, then close to an hour later he's killed while standing behind a distorting sheild effect, and then the film expects the audience to care when the main character loudly mourns his death. I can only imagine that a pretty large majority of the audience was thinking, "Who the hell was that?"
Part of my problem, and it's surely largely just my problem, is that as I have often lamented, Hollywood does not by my lights make many classically bad movies anymore. Sure, every once in a while you get a Sweet November or Isn't She Great (and those are obscure too, at least in the way that Under the Cherry Moon is obscure), and once every fifteen or twenty years there's a Battlefield Earth. They are few and far between, though.
PEGGY: I don't see how having a girl on the team would ruin it. Did a woman judge ruin the Supreme Court?
HANK: Yes, and that woman's name was Earl Warren.
--King of the Hill |
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John Doe
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
USA
91 Posts |
Posted - 02/28/2007 : 6:52:01 PM
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"This weekend's review"???
There's gonna be a new review up next week???
hot diggity
my eyes!! the goggles do nothing!! |
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