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Capt. Nemo
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
630 Posts |
 Posted - 04/13/2009 : 5:59:12 PM
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I found this article and I busted a gut laughing at it.
Its about the drinking habits of the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise.
And alcohol played an essential role in that quest. It was a beautiful situation—you not only got to drink, you got to drink ales, wines and liquors the human race couldn’t even imagine. And they always seemed stronger than our silly earthling libations, every alien race bragged their booze would floor a human if he so much as looked in the bottle’s direction. Klingon Blood Wine, Romulan Ale, Saurian Brandy—they came on harder than a photon torpedo barrage and when you woke up, if you woke up, you’d be nursing a nebula-sized hangover the fastest warp drive in the universe couldn’t outrun. Humans were considered the lightweights of the universe, a bunch of Bartle-and-James swilling high school punks among whiskey-chugging dilithium-crystal miners.
Then Kirk and his boys came along. Kirk could not only hold his own with the extraterrestrial hooch, he was backed up by a hard-pounding crew. Spock wasn’t much help (Vulcans are the designated drivers of the Universe), but Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy thought so little of the potent alien liquors he administered them as cough syrup. And he had skills too, when he wasn’t wiping out planetary epidemics and pronouncing any number of security crewmen dead, he was concocting cocktails that that would become infamous from one end of the galaxy to the other. And Scotty, don’t get me started on that beautiful son of a bitch. Born and bred to it like a bird dog, this Aberdeen son could drink a transporter room full of aliens under the table then whistle Tura-lura-lura all the way back to his private stash of scotch. These three walk in a Klingon pub and half an hour later Klingon heads are hitting tables like Bacchus’s own drum roll.
[url]http://www.drunkard.com/issues/05_02/5_02_space%20winos.html[/url]
He's right. Scotty is a beautiful Son-of-a-b!tch.
I love the scene were he tries to get a alien drunk and roll him. And Doohan includes the great touch of having Scotty cry when he realizes he has to sacrifice his personal stock of Scotch to the cause.
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=551lJLJ1m-Q[/url]
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"Ward, the Beaver blew up the 7-11 again."
"I'll have a talk with him Dear" |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2009 : 7:54:11 PM
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(Vulcans are the designated drivers of the Universe)
Hmm, that explains the Vulcan chick in "Enterprise".
These three walk in a Klingon pub and half an hour later Klingon heads are hitting tables like Bacchus’s own drum roll.
OK, so capt. Kirk, Commander Scott and Dr. McCoy walk into a Klingon bar and order four beers...
But what about the "Next Generation" flying about with a BAR on their ship? There's gotta be some pounders in that crew!
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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Capt. Nemo
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
630 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2009 : 10:28:21 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Greenhornet
But what about the "Next Generation" flying about with a BAR on their ship? There's gotta be some pounders in that crew!
With the ship's stocks only carrying synthahol, these Earl Grey sipping sissies wouldn't have a chance.
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"Ward, the Beaver blew up the 7-11 again."
"I'll have a talk with him Dear" |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 04/14/2009 : 08:39:40 AM
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Oh, that is a thing of beaury![/i]A toast to Capt. Nemo!
Over the teeth.
Past the gums.
Here come Nemo.
Hide the Rums!
;)
Marvin the Paranoid Android to Buzz Lightyear "Too infinity and beyond-i've been there, its rubbish!"
"Hoody Hoo, i waste 'em with my cross bow!" Bob Herzog- KODT
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 04/14/2009 : 4:50:50 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Capt. Nemo
quote:
Originally posted by Greenhornet
But what about the "Next Generation" flying about with a BAR on their ship? There's gotta be some pounders in that crew!
With the ship's stocks only carrying synthahol, these Earl Grey sipping sissies wouldn't have a chance.
SHEEE-OOOT! I didn't know that. I never watched that show regularly.
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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zombiewhacker
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1475 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2009 : 12:32:37 PM
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Don't worry, when Scotty visited the Next Generation Enterprise, they uncorked a bottle of real liquor just for him.
And for the record, that stuff was Picard's secret stash, so don't be calling him no sissy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Capt. Nemo
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
630 Posts |
Posted - 04/16/2009 : 10:31:47 AM
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I say the jury is still out.
Fast forward 2 minutes:
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrwRaMdoeHE[/url]
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"Ward, the Beaver blew up the 7-11 again."
"I'll have a talk with him Dear" |
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