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hk6909
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
651 Posts |
 Posted - 07/23/2009 : 11:54:07 AM
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Episode 24-Reality Bytes
Summary: What doesn’t happen this episode? Vin’s old sensei gets a job at CJU, the MAYHEM officers get a power boost allowing them to use their own movie powers in earnest, and Byte decides he’s on the wrong team. Yes, that’s a lot for one episode of a Sentai.
Monster: KuroSkeeter
URL: http://www.geocities.com/tetsuokurata/epi24.html
Rating: JJ
Rants-
-Narration: Vin was walking along the campus. At the same time, a group of students were practicing poses in an intramural karate class.
*Poses? Wouldn’t a more respectful term be “stances”? That’s what they called them when I was taking karate, anyway.
-Vin: “Hey! Sensei Luciano!"
Tony: "Vin? Vin Henderson! Long time no see!"
Narration: Anthony Luciano was Vin's sensei and fencing coach for his old high school Woodside. They get together at the cafeteria.
Tony: "It's good to see you staying out of trouble, Vin.." said Anthony. Most of your fellow students didn't make it through college. Despite that, they are working.. It was a rough area I was teaching, after all.."
*We meet Vin’s old sensei, and in him the third minor character to share a name with a Scanranger. And not to imply anything, but the main reason they’re meeting again is Vin hasn’t finished college yet either.
-Vin: “Blame my parents...You may say because of them, despite the surroundings, my family and I was able to get out of the hood in one piece..”
*You may say? Anyway, Vin, I guess, grew up in a rough neighborhood but was lucky enough to make it out without any lasting effects. What a Guy.
-Vin: “How long have you been teaching Intramural Karate on campus?"
Tony: "At least two weeks now..”
*AT LEAST?? He doesn’t know??
-Tony: “I'm actually preparing for this major Aikido tournament in L.A. that's about to happen in a month, so I'll possibly even get a chance to perform as a stuntman or bodyguard in Hollywood."
Vin: “At least two weeks now..What's your ultimate goal, to become the next Steven Seagal, or Jet Li, or even Steve James?"
Tony: "I have a cousin in Westwood who does this stuff for a living..Even if he's used as an extra playing a tough guy or something.."
*Tony talks like he didn’t even hear what Vin said. Did he take a few too many roundhouse kicks to the head while getting ready for Hollywood or something?
-Narration: A little later, Vin arrives back at Alex's faculty office, where the other four team members were hanging out.
*I know it’s just a convenient excuse to have them all together right before MAYHEM attacks, but why do they hang out at Alex’s office? Don’t they have friends or activities to fill their leisure time? And wasn’t there an episode a while ago where Alex was worried about somebody penetrating their secret identities by seeing them with her on campus?
-Vin: “What's happening, people?"
Nick: "Nada, leader man.."
*They call him “leader man” during social time? Forget it, they can’t be serious about their secrecy.
-Nick: “Same old same old.." mid-terms coming up and all that.. Don't you ever study?"
Vin: "Took care of that....in between free period..I just have to get ready for this paper on Filmmaking I soon, maybe tomorrow.."
*Nice to see you too, Nick. Vin really must be awesome if he can study “in between free period.” A lesser intellect like me would’ve thought you’d have to study DURING free period. What’s “free period” in college, anyway?
**And wait just a damn minute, mid-terms are coming up? Jeez, at the beginning of the arc that just ended, the students were running around getting ready for FINALS.
-Narration: As soon as Vin completed his response, an alarm went off on the Scanrangers communicators.
Alex; "What's the matter, Rosewood?"
Rosewood: MAYHEM's on the attack! This time it's downtown Leewood Park!"
*So the same thing as always.
-Alex: “Everyone! Scramble!”
*Wow, good thing they went to Alex’s office before getting the alert.
-Narration: Suddenly, KuroSkeeter was hit by an energy blast! It came from the combined might of the ScanLasers wielded by the movie task force!
*Thanks for explaining, there’s so many people with guns called Scanlasers these days…
-Nick: “Hey, Ug-ly! What's wrong? Ran out of muscle bound maroons to play with? Now that you're bugging out!”
*Um…yeah.
-Ug: Blast you, Scanrangers! You'll be the ones who'll be bugging, as you Earthlings would say..KuroSkeeter! Take care of them!" Ug teleports through the vortex.
*So Ug ran away the minute the rangers showed up looking for trouble. What kind of tough guy officer is he supposed to be?
-Kuroskeeter: “I'm itching to get my hands on you Scumrangers!" said KuroSkeeter. I hear that you Earthlings are swarming with potential hosts! And speaking of swarms.."
*What the heck does he mean, swarming with potential hosts? The Earthlings themselves are swarming with potential hosts, or they are the potential hosts? Dang, what dippy dialogue.
-Kunio: “Mosquitoes! Millions of them!”
Toni: “How? This isn't their season!”
*Maybe it’s the monster’s power? Come on, they’ve been fighting MAYHEM a pretty long time by now.
-B.C./Narration: “Guys! Let me try something!" B.C. then summons up his Comedy Film Energy. He becomes one with the high pitched scream of Lou Costello once more, "AAABBOTTTT!" The scream disrupts the cybercreature's control of its RoboSkeeters, as they fall helplessly to the ground.
*That’s kind of lame, but as this episode seems semi-intended to show how MAYHEM’s running to catch up with the Scanrangers’ newly-elevated powers it does make sense.
-Narration: Yellow rushes in to attack before the monster recovers. "WARP SPEED SMASH!" Kunio punches KuroSkeeter in his face!…Red then goes to his finishing move. Twisting his Swashbuckler Sword, he calls up his "ABARENBO ATTACK!" Vin then strikes Kuroskeeter down with the "ABARENBO SLASH!" The cybercreature armored metallic body began exploding, about to go down.
*When the did the rangers get their old attacks back? I can think of a decent enough reason (when the Brigade died, the film energy they stole returned to the rangers), but that’s not the kind of thing Vince ought to be mysterious about.
-Ug/Narration: “CONFOUND THOSE SCANRANGERS!" cried Ug. "BYTE!" The metal spider went down the vortex, on its way to the fallen monster to enlarge it. Yellow noticed Byte was on its way to charge up KuroSkeeter.
Kunio: "Not this time, you traitor!" Kunio referred to his former stolen science project.
*Traitor? The way I remember it Kunio started building Byte, but MAYHEM stole him and finished the job. As in the villains probably programmed Byte with loyalty to them. Calling Byte a traitor implies MAYHEM activated him then let him choose sides or something, which while extremely stupid I have a hard time imagining was the case.
-Narration: Using his FilmBlade as a baseball bat, Kunio swats Byte back up into space, through the vortex, and back onto Nebultopia.
Kunio: "POW! DEEP TO LEFT CENTER! THAT BALL IS GOING, GOING, YOU CAN TELL THAT ONE GOODBYE!"
*Well said. I so told that one goodbye.
-Blackorg: “UG! YOU STUPID EXCUSE FOR A WARLORD!!" he shouted. "HOW CAN YOU PERMIT THOSE SCANRANGERS TO DEFEAT YOU?!?"
*Admittedly this time the screaming’s understandable as Ug ran away without even trying to put up a fight.
-Blackorg/Narration: “SILENCE! Everything I have seen is the same!" Blackorg then displays a screen showing Ug, Vixen, and Key various cybercreatures they sent to conquer the earth, and yet each time thwarted by the Scanrangers. "Had it not been for that pompous fool Benedict, I would have replaced all of you a long time ago!”
*Huh?! The reason he brought in Benedict was because of Ug, Key and Vixen’s constant failures.
-Blackorg: “It is high time that you use the stolen power against those children..starting right now!!"
*Technically they did try to use their film energy last episode, it just paled in comparison to the new level the Scanrangers’ powers had reached. What Blackorg seems to do is jolt the energy so they can compete with the rangers, but, of course, he doesn’t say much to that effect.
-Narration: With a wave of his hand, he blasts his henchmen with a force bolt at each of their brains. For a few moments, they lain unconscious. With another wave of the dark master's hand, he awakens them. There was a difference in each of the three. Anark Key, instead of his usual leather jacket, was armed with red armor with spiked shoulder pads, with a faux eyelash under his left eye, like one of the gang members from 'A Clockwork Orange.' Vixen didn't have much of a change, except she was also dressed in leather armor like Xena. Ug's helmet was different, with longer horns and a much gruesome samurai type face.
*The villain officers get new outfits to go with their new powers. Except we were never told what they looked like in the first place. The closest thing I remember to any of them getting a description is hearing Key looks like a punk rocker. That’s it.
-Narration/Blackorg: Blackorg then walks over to the injured KuroSkeeter and takes a piece of his broken cyberchip. He then plucks one of Byte's legs, and molds the two parts in a ball, creating another robotic insect, similar to Byte. "I shall give you another chance to destroy the Scanrangers, Ug..as I shall KuroSkeeter..." Blackorg then rebuilds the cybercreature. "Now go, Ug! Take over the human city!"
*He rebuilds the cybercreature? How?
-Narration: Byte, with one leg missing now, hops up the dark master's arm.
*Thanks, but Byte losing a leg wasn’t even five sentences ago…
-Byte: “But Lord Blackorg..What about me? What can I do?"
Blackorg: "Byte! You know well not to question my motives..After your failed attempts to finish those Scanrangers..you are very close to serving your purpose! I have no use for an incompetent experiment!"
*Failed attempts to finish the Scanrangers?! All Byte ever did was enlarge monsters, and that was the first time he failed to do so. Hell, in Scanranger vs. Jetman he did it when the villains were too busy fighting each other to send him. Blackorg ought to be grateful for this small blip on MAYHEM’s competence radar.
-Narration/Tony: Back on campus, Vin's sensei was just driving off the CJU parking lot onto the road. As he drove about a half mile, something got in his way. "LOOK OUT!" Anthony cried as he swerved his car. It then went into a ditch.
Tony: “HEY! Are you crazy? Trying to jump out into the street like that? I'll-"
Narration: Anthony was surprised to see KuroSkeeter, now rebuilt, and then was grabbed by his neck. The monster then lifted him up, about to strangle him.
*Nice guy, that Tony. He hits someone with his car and immediately starts blaming them. And come on, anybody with two arms can strangle someone. How many people can control a swarm of robot mosquitoes with their mind?
-Narration: Unable to get a footing to defend himself, Anthony was about to lose consciousness, until.. "HYAAHH!" KuroSkeeter had been kicked in the face by Vin, who heard his teacher was in grave danger.
*Where did he hear that, hmmm? Tony can’t have been attacked by the monster more than a minute ago.
-Vin/Narration: “You better get out of here, Sensei! Go get help! I'll hold them off!" Vin hoped to get Anthony away to give himself an advantage by transforming to RedScanner.
Tony: "No way! That thing snuck me! The two of us together can take him!"
*No, is that why Vin wanted to get alone with the monster? He didn’t really expect that “you better get out of her and let me handle this” line to work on an experienced, confident martial artist looking for bodyguard work, did he? Especially one he’s known since he was a kid.
**And the monster WHAT him?? I’d hardly call jumping in front of his car then attacking him when he got out “sneaking up.”
-Narration: Vin was about to debate the issue, yet it would jeopardize his secret identity.
*Which apparently isn’t something Tony can be trusted with. Not to mention debating the issue would, oh, give the monster a chance to plow through them while they’re yakking.
-Vin: “Hope the others come quickly..I could probably take that cybercreature by myself, but for now, I need to buy some time..”
*If Vin can take the monster by himself (and unless he truly thinks his enemies are dumb enough to use it again with no upgrades after what happened before, that’s confidence for you), why does he need to buy time for the others to get there? Why would they come anyway? Did he trip a silent alarm on his bracelet?
-Narration/Tony: “Hang in there!" Vin's sensei ran towards Vin to save him. He then hesitated, and found himself back in his gym. "W-What's going on?" he questioned. Anthony saw one of his old girlfriends approach him. "Nancy?" She came in with workout clothes on and without a word, asked him to come hither.
Woman/Narration: “I want to apologize to you, Tony.." said the woman. "I want to put things right.." She puts his hand on his shoulder, and then..zaps him into unconsciousness! 'Nancy' was actually Vixen, using her telepathic/empathic powers against him.
*Without a word she asked him to come hither? Yeah, yeah, I know there are a lot of ways to do that without words, but Vince could’ve said which one she used. So yeah, Tony’s old girlfriend in the gym that appears out of nowhere is actually Vixen. For that to work, wouldn’t the girlfriend have had to have been in a suspense movie? And since Key took out the actual Scanranger without apparently using his new powers, one gets the feeling she, rather than so-called “psychological terrorist,” enjoys toying with her victims. She also mentions taking Tony home as another boy toy, which is another thing that’s just makes you shake your head at Vince’s inclusion policies.
-Narration: Vixen then looks up and sees the other four Scanrangers ascend to the battle.
*Uh, yeah. Vince’s understanding of the word “ascend” is already a bit questionable…
-Narration: The cybercreature was about to use its RoboSkeeter attack again. Blue was about to call on his 'Costello Cry' once more, but Anark Key caught him by surprise, and gagged him. Although B.C. didn't have an open helmet, Key's gag was powerful enough to mentally quiet him and neutralized his Film Energy powers. The RoboSkeeters attacked the other rangers once again.
*Huh, MAYHEM’s actually acquitting themselves decently this fight. It’s not silencing B.C. by slicing his head off, but it’s something.
-Narration: Out of the blue, another energy blast hit KuroSkeeter. This time, it came from one other-SilverScanner and his MagnumSilver blaster!
*Sheesh, what’s Silver’s story? Is it me? Am I the stupid one for thinking that if Vince isn’t going to distance his sixth ranger from the others, he shouldn’t be distant from the others?
-Narration: Vin wakes from unconsciousness as his sensei was still out cold, which gave him the opportunity to transform
*But it’s okay if the people bent on drinking his blood know who he really is.
-Scanrangers: “SOLDIERS OF THE SILVER SCREEN! MOVIE TASK FORCE-SCANRANGER!"
Key/Narration: "Yeah, whatever!" said Key. "Our new powers are more than enough to stop you! Now we'll.." Key somehow loses his energy and nothing happens. He couldn't use his energy chains! Vixen and Ug were powered down also. "What happened? Our energies are gone!"
Blackorg: “Your energy is gone, fools, because you used it so quickly and rapidly. The power I give you is only used once, at most three times per battle!" Now it will be another time which I shall permit you to use it!"
*There goes all the good will this episode was building up. Excuse me, why the hell do the bad guys get such limitations on their powers? Drama lives on conflict, and that’s what the villains are there to provide. In fact if you think about it they’re more important to the show than the heroes, since nothing would happen if they weren’t around. And it’s stupid if they’re weaker, less competent or suffer from significant disadvantages the good guys don’t. Like only being able to use their movie powers once or twice per fight while the Scanrangers can apparently use theirs as much as they want. After all, doesn’t Vince want us to see why Sentai rules and Power Rangers drools? Wouldn’t villains who don’t totally suck help his presentation? And why is Blackorg only telling how limited their new powers are after sending them out to trash the Scanrangers?! That only compounds the problem, making their fearsome leader look inept too.
**Then again, maybe it doesn’t warrant my bitching. The limitation doesn’t seem to apply after this episode. Still, the drama of the Scanrangers doing their introduction kinda falls apart if immediately after it the villains run out of juice and then run away, which they do. And without the officers backing him up, Kuroskeeter immediately becomes Kuroadkill.
-Narration: Anthony was helped out of the dumpster by Yellow.
*Uh, no. Vin was the one Key threw into a dumpster, not Tony.
-Narration: Silver then assisted Anthony back to the campus.
*Never mind that he was leaving campus when all this happened and probably has other places to be. Anyway, bye, Tony. You added a lot to the story.
-Narration: No sooner that the karate instructor was gone, Blackorg teleported onto the battle scene, walking towards the Scanrangers. The evil one was furious, with his right fist clenched and holding his Metalstaff in his left hand as he was about to fight!
Vin: "Blackorg!! So, you want a piece of the action, too? Well, let's get it on!"
Blackorg: "Fool! I have no time to deal with you as yet! I shall destroy you when the time will be indeed convienient.”
*Way to send mixed messages there, Vince. What does Blackorg do that takes up so much of his time if he needs to put his henchmen in charge of killing the Scanrangers?
-Narration: Within the workings of the cybercreature, the robotic insect implanted within KuroSkeeter began to hum, and it began to poke the monster's mechanisms from the inside! KillerByte expanded its spiked legs within the cybercreature's oil bloodstream. With a loud cry, the monster explodes, and grows gigantic! Our heroes are taken aback!
*Because they’d never seen a monster turn into a giant before!
-Narration: BlockBuster was being eaten alive by the mecha bugs. A laser blast came suddenly from SilverScanner in WideScreener, knocking KuroSkeeter off balance!
Nick: "It's Silver! Thanks!"
Takeshi: "Don't mention it..You should've called me!"
*Why bother? This is the second time in one episode he’s appeared out of nowhere to help out.
-Narration: The RoboSkeeters started to chew on SilverScanner even as they continue their assault on BlockBuster! Back at Cape Paramount Base, Alex, Dr. Markby, and Sarita ponder our heroes fate.
Markby: "What can we do?" asked the worried doc.
Alex: "I don't know, Ben.. I really don't know.."
*Ha! Two recycled names in one episode (Ben is the “B” in “B.C.”)! And that’s the extent of the scene, Alex and Dr. Markby have no idea how to save the rangers. Thanks for making sure everyone looks brainless, Vince.
-Narration: Not far away, Byte witnessed the cybercreature having the upper hand. He actually was hidden under KuroSkeeter's armor and was able to stay in the battle.
Byte: "Gee..all that time I tried to win favor with Lord Blackorg, and they still disrespected me..”
*Win favor by doing what? Enlarging monsters and doing Steve Urkel impressions? I know I said Blackorg should’ve appreciated that small blip on the competence radar, but small’s the operative word. Certainly nobody ever asked Byte to do anything else, and he didn’t.
-Byte: “Listen! Kunio-san! Scanrangers! I know how to stop that swarm!
Somebody: ‘Byte? What are you doing here? Trying to rub in our defeat?"
Byte: "No! No! Blackorg didn't want me anymore! It's my fault I got you all into this! Please! Let me put it right!"
*It’s only Byte’s fault if indeed he had the choice of which side to work for. Which I’m starting to believe MAYHEM really was stupid enough to give him.
-Vixen: “My Lord! Look! Byte is sabotaging the cybercreature!"
Blackorg: "What? How dare he!! I had the Scanrangers defeated! BYTE! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME! YOU SHALL PAY DEARLY FOR THIS!"
*So the time was indeed convenient after all?
-Narration: The dark lord then sent a beam at Byte, attempting to electrocute him. Byte kept on destroying KuroSkeeter from inside despite the pain.
Byte: "I just wanted to put things right, Kunio..Destroy the monster! Don't worry about me! Do it! Finish it off! Do it now!"
Narration: Yellow was surprised at this. The same science experiment he used but stolen was acting human..
*So the villains intent on bleeding Earth dry of its natural resources programmed Byte with the potential for self-sacrifice. Byte. Who they trust with the power of turning their monsters into city-stomping engines of destruction. Uh-huh.
-Vin: “Yellow! It's your call!"
*And it’ll be on your head if we let the monster go so he kills everyone in the city! Go ahead! This is totally your choice, man!
-Narration/Kunio: “Yellow, with a lump in his throat, whispered.."Do it."
Narration: Red then sighed. "All right then, BLOCKBUSTER ENERGIZE!" The robot powered up, and flew towards KuroSkeeter. The rangers shouted the final attack. "BLOCKBUSTER BOMB!" Byte saw the blinding light.
Byte: "How cool..I'm gonna become one with the universe! Thank you, Scanrangers!"
Narration: Byte snickered his annoying laugh, then was blinded by the bright comet as the bomb surrounded KuroSkeeter, disintergrating the monster!
*Kunio picks Byte over everyone else in Jersey. It’s not quite Ako vs. The Whole of Creation, but it’s still kind of annoying he seemed to have to make up his mind.
-Narration/Blackorg: Blackorg was upset. "Blast you, traitor! The world would've certainly been ours if it haven't been for your interference! No matter.." Blackorg holds up another KillerByte, since they're all mass-produced by himself personally. "A pity that your sacrifice to save those humans was all for naught.." The overlord laughs.
*“Upset” seems to be Blackorg’s natural state. Is that what the all-powerful, ill-tempered and impatient Blackorg’s supposed to be doing while his henchmen fail to kill the Scanrangers, hand-making enlarging bugs?
-Narration: Back on earth after the battle, the rangers were back in civilian form. Kunio then saw a shell of Byte, totally destroyed. He sighs as he picked it up.
Takeshi: "I don't get it.. What's the big deal? Why are you feeling pity about an annoying robot who helped MAYHEM in battle?"
Kunio: “That annoying robot saved our lives, if you will recall, and it was a part of me.. Even people can see the error of their ways and change. Byte just wanted to feel part of something. Blackorg happened to put him in the wrong crowd, yet he learned too late."
*Or maybe this just proves how epically stupid MAYHEM is, programming a robot in their employ with enough free will to decide he’s playing for the wrong team. It’s not like something happened to scramble his programming enough to awaken the potential for good, he just went “hey, maybe I should stop helping these guys and start helping the other guys.”
Episode 25-To Ching Chow:Thanks for Everything-Catwoman
Summary: In this thoroughly original episode Vixen steals the voices of all the females in a 50-mile radius to power her ultimate weapon. The only way to stop her? Send the guys undercover as girls.
Monster: KuroAlto
URL: http://www.geocities.com/tetsuokurata/epi25.html
Rating: J
Rants-
-Narration: Central New Jersey University-The students are at the halfway mark-returning from their Spring Break-even the Scanranger crew, who had ventured to Hawaii the year before, had an opportunity to go again, without outside interference from MAYHEM.
*And when was that trip to the islands? Episode 18. That was a year’s worth of story time? With 19-22 happening (I’m assuming) pretty much back-to-back? Wow, MAYHEM’s in no hurry to take over the world, is it?
**Here’s a possibility, but it’s a dumb one considering what we’re about to witness: what if MAYHEM is fighting the Scanrangers more times than Vince writes about, but all we’re seeing is the highlights?
-Narration: At Kubrick Hall, Dean Bogart was interviewing one of the finalists for a teaching position at the college.
*Oh for crying out loud…is anything good in Scanranger’s world tied to the cinematic arts, Vince? And is this happening AFTER spring break, during the semester?
-Narration: He speaks to a very attractive woman with a burugundy business suit.
Dean Bogart: "It's going to be a very difficult decision..and it's already down to two candidates..One has the experience and the edge in reaching out to the students, whereas the other candidate has ten years of psychology experience under their belt.."
*Is he talking to one of the candidates??
-Narration/Dean Bogart: The woman was somewhat anxious, twiddled her thumbs, unsure that she was going to get the position. "I've came to the conclusion on who can reach out to those youngsters.." continued Dean Bogart. "You're the one.." The woman sighed with relief. "Now, I believe according to the application, you can start as soon as possible..Will two weeks be appropiate for you?" said the dean. The woman nodded. "Then it's settled..Congratulations, Vivian Fox..Welcome to Central Jersey University.."
*I guess so! Which candidate was Miss Fox, anyhow?
-Narration: The camera pans back, and Ms. Fox was revealed to be none other than Commander Vixen in disguise!
*…?! You know this is a written story, not a real TV show, right, Vince?
-Narration/Vixen: Moments later, she was driving along the highway, as she spoke to Blackorg. "My lord..Mission accomplished! The teaching position is now within my grasp! Soon, I'll be able to begin your plan by first infiltrating this college campus and set base upon this university!"
*Something she might actually get around to someday. I mean she’s got a job right under the rangers’ noses now, and how often does she take advantage of it? Like two or three times, total.
-Blackorg: “Excellent, my lovely Vixen..or shall I refer you as Vivian Fox.."
*Because we need to be reminded about Vixen’s new secret identity after Vixen herself just pointing out what she’d done.
-Narration: Back in Kunio's dorm, the team relax and unwind after the break.
*Isn’t it the point to unwind DURING the break?
-Toni: “Well, I can't hang with you guys tonight..I've got to get ready and hit the gym, after which I take a quick nap.."
*That’ll take up your whole night?
-Narration: Toni waves to the guys goodbye as she left for her dorm. A little later after her nap, she heads over to the gym, running on the treadmill.
*Didn’t she just say it was going to be the other way around?
-Toni: "Hey! That's my purse! Come back here!"
Narration: She ran as fast as she could down the street, but the thief was just as fast. Toni began to pick up speed and then grabbed the man's arm, and at the same time, grabbed the purse from him, pushing him to the ground!
Purse Snatcher: "I wanted that purse! That was a mistake! I don't appreciate being pushed around! Give it back!"
Toni: "I don't like being pushed, period, you creep! You better get out of my sight while you can!!"
*I love this story. The thief’s complaining about getting pushed around and not being allowed to do his job. Shed a tear for the common thug. And Toni, the superhero, is telling him to get out of her sight while he still can. Rather than something stupid like pinning him to the wall and telling the first passerby to call the police.
-Narration: In response, the thief attacked Toni. Using basic self defense, she fell down as she grabbed the man, and pushed him up, flipping him over as his face hit the wall! The thief turned, revealing himself to be PB Floyd!
*You can beat warriors of the dreaded MAYHEM corps with basic self defense. What kind of name is “Floyd” anyway?
-Narration: Floyd ran back through the alleyway, with Toni hot on his heels!As she turned the corner, a musical laser hit Toni, throwing her off balance!
*Go after him, Tone. This clearly isn’t orchestrated to lead you into a trap. No, don’t tell your friends MAYHEM’s around, that would just make sense when they show up to help in a minute.
**For anyone who thinks “musical laser” is awfully vague, I’m sad to say I know what one would look like. Watch some episodes of Silverhawks and you will too.
-Vixen: “I just needed something of great importance to you! Let me have it, now!"
Toni: "I'll let you have it all right, Vixen!”
*Maybe she should tell Toni what she wants, then. On the other hand, what she wants turns out to be Toni’s voice, so maybe Vixen was just saying that to see if Toni really would make a fool of herself with that retort of hers.
-Narration: Toni prepared her transformation pose. "LIGHTS! CAME-" In mid sentence, KuroAlto sang and her soundwaves disrupted Toni, making her unable to transform to PinkScanner! Toni gasped, unable to talk back!
*To reiterate, Vixen’s monster steals Toni’s voice.
-Narration: Floyd and Andy Roy show up also.
*Except Floyd was already there…
-Vixen: “As I was saying, girl, I needed something of great value, and that was your voice! It was fortunate that I got you out of the way first! I need female voices to create my newest project! Each female on this campus town shall fall before my 'Siren of Seduction', which requires stealing every feminine voice! Then, the same machine shall be used to steal the words from all women around the world, and yet, I will be the only woman in the universe unaffected!”
*There’s our Evil Plot for the episode. What’s the Siren of Seduction, her doomsday weapon, or the monster she’s using to steal the voices to power it? And beggin’ your pardon, milord, but why was getting Toni out of the way a priority? She doesn’t do anything until after the boys probably would’ve won anyway.
-Narration: As Roy was about to cut Toni with her sword. BlueScanner, out of nowhere, kicked Roy in the chest! Red, Yellow, and Green also appear to protect Toni. Red then shot Floyd with his ScanLaser!
Nick: "You leave that woman alone!" said Green defiantly.
*Hooo-whaaaa? “That woman”? It half-sounds like Nick’s trying to do that “Unhand that bystander I’ve never seen before” crap superheroes making flimsy attempts to hide their identities toss out when a girlfriend or whoever is being menaced by a villain, but we’re way past the point where there’s any doubt about that kind of thing.
**And are we saying Roy’s a “her”? Because it’s a tad more likely a man-hungry villainess would have male underlings…
-Dr. Markby: “Toni's vocal cords are fine, but there are no words coming out of her..”
*I hate bullcrap science, I so hate it. Obviously, her vocal cHords aren’t fine if they’re not working.
-Narration: She then gets up and starts typing words to the guys on the computer, typing out Vixen's plot.
Kunio: "She plans to rob the earth of every female voice?"
Vin: "How's she going to manage that? I see that you can't transform with the voice activating her FilmBrace.
*Way to stay focused there, leader-man. I swear, every time this guy opens his mouth he’s less fit to lead a superhero team.
-Takeshi: “Alex is in danger also! We've got to warn her before she gets to teach her other classes! She needs to know this as soon as possible!"
Rosewood/Narration: "I'm on it, Takeshi!" replied Rosewood at his terminal back on campus. At Alex's office, she answers the phone.
Alex: "Professor Alexandria.. What? Toni's voice stolen? Give me the details..I'll have you and the good doctor in charge until I get back to base..Right! We'll rendezvous later..”
*Maybe they should do more than warn her. Like send the Scanrangers to escort her to the base. That is, if she can’t just teleport to base at will, which sounds unlikely for someone with the amount of responsibilities she has.
-Narration: No sooner Alex hung the phone, she heard laughter.. ..which came from Vixen and her cybercreature!
Vixen: "Pardon me, madam.. I don't know what your business is at this school, but I need your voice for a few hours!"
*Is Vixen trying to say she doesn’t know who Alex is? Because, um, no. They’ve attacked her at her campus office before (With Maliss Towards All), and that was because they’re well aware of her association with the rangers. Not to mention Vixen joined the faculty in this episode…
-Alex: “Vixen! What the blazes do you want?"
Vixen: "As I said before, Professor, your voice!
*Huh, Vixen DID say that before as a matter of fact. Nice to know Vin’s superior has as much on the ball as he does </sarcasm>
-Narration: KuroAlto zaps a beam at Alex, but she dodged the blast! She was able to elude them, as she tried to signal the other Scanrangers..
*So yeah, they should’ve come after all. And even if Alex doesn’t have a teleporter, they do, and could’ve zapped into her office instantly to escort her to base.
-Narration: However, a stray shot reflected off a mirror, taking Alex's voice!
*Why does Alex have a mirror in her office? I’ve never met anyone who did. In any event, there’s the one and only case in this story where “stray shot” means what it actually means.
-Vixen/Narration: “It was nice doing business with you, Professor..Ohh, yes!" said Vixen as she and KuroAlto made their escape. Alex gritted her teeth, totally helpless, and unable to call the rest of the team for help!
*Ignoring how she’s beyond needing help at this point, she doesn’t even have a gizmo with a single button she can push to let them know she’s in trouble?
-Vixen/Narration: “Now, Kinks! Activate the machine!" shouted Vixen. Her cyberguards were alongside her with a satelitte dish aimed at the heart of Leewood Park. As the robotic minions turn on the satelitte dish, and women's voices, young and old were taken away. The voices were reflected back into a crystal located on top of the dish.
*Then why did she bother going after Alex and Toni personally? Am I thinking too much again?
-Rosewood: “Bad news and even worse news, fellows..The professor's voice has been taken by Vixen, as well as all the females all over town! Here's the kicker..Sarita and the other women on base have been affected, too!"
*Why is that the kicker? Are we supposed to know the base is specially shielded against laryngitis-inducing space rays or something?
-Vin: “We're gonna be easy targets for the villains...but I can think of one chance to thwart that warrior woman's sinister plot..It's a long shot, but I'm confident it will work.."
*What makes it a long shot? After all, Vin appears to be banking on MAYHEM’s stupidity.
-Vin: “With your special effects film energy, Nick, can you make us into women?"
Narration: Nick was baffled, but he understood clearly.
*He was baffled but understood clearly. Sure. Whatever.
-Nick: “Crazy as it may sound, Scanrangers, it's the best plan we can carry out..I'll pick three of us..Vin Man, Mikey, and myself.."
Kunio: "UH-UH! NO WAY, JOSE! I'M NOT STOOPING THAT LOW! I WILL NOT DEMEAN MYSELF BY DRESSING UP AS A WOMAN!"
Nick: "Got any other ideas, then? I'm all ears..If not, then we've gotta make it happen..
*Would you mind letting the reader in on what you hope to accomplish with this plan of yours, guys? The plan, as far as I can tell, is appear to be a group of women who haven’t been de-vocalized in order to lure Vixen out and give the others a chance to sneak in and take out her weapon. Is there some reason one decoy has to be Kunio, who’s violently resisting and not, say, B.C., someone who should be able to at least appreciate the humor of the situation? Since the rangers who don’t disguise themselves sneak into Vixen’s hideout, wouldn’t it be ideal to have more guys in that group in case they get caught? Or is Vin sure Vixen would say, “Hey wait a minute! There’s some women who still have their voices! Wait…there’s only two, never mind. Three, that would’ve been worth checking out.”
-Nick: “Besides, think about it..Bugs Bunny dressed in drag to fool the bad guys, not to mention Ash Ketchum in one Pokemon episode.."
*Yeah, but they had the benefit of living in goofy worlds where there’s nothing strange about anthropomorphic animals and where all civilization is built around kids having arena battles with their pet monsters. Scanranger has enough sense of reality to usually acknowledge the weird things that go on are, well, weird. So much it becomes a problem in itself, sometimes.
-Nick: “Not even for a Sailor Mercury plushie?" Nick holds the doll, tempting poor Mikey with it.
Kunio: "Amy-chan! You're the only Sailor Senshi plush I'm missing from my collection! I must have you!"
*A person could read into the fact that someone who reacts as strongly to the bastardization of Japanese TV imports as Vince Jones spells Sailor Mercury’s name with a Y instead of an I.
-Narration: A little later, Vin, Nick, and Mikey were outfitted with women's clothing, applying mascara and lipstick upon each other with Toni and the CPB women's help. Dr. Markby comes out of the dressing room
*Gee, and I thought Vin had asked Nick to use his powers to do that.
-Narration: Vin was dressed with a black wig with corn rows and a feather boa, Nick was a blonde with bangs and a beauty mark, not unlike Cindy Crawford, and Kunio had long straight hair and a gold dress and gloves to match.
*Some Like It Hot, this is not.
-Vin: “We're all squared away, here, guys! Let's go!"
Scanrangers: "Right!" said the other males.
*As opposed to the females, who are physically unable to say anything.
-B.C.: “Goodbye, ladies..Goodbye, ladies..Goodbye, ladies..It's time to say goodbye!" B.C. sings a tune from 'The Music Man' as he and Takeshi move out.
*God I hate him.
-Narration/Vixen: Meanwhile, as the villains continue their sinister plan, Vixen views the campus, with most of the women in panic. "Good..good..it seems that we have every woman on campus, including the surrounding area, also.." At the same time, Blue and SilverScanner found Vixen and the satelitte dish, and listened to her plans.
*Her plans, which they already know. Pardon me for asking, but if they found her hideout so easily, is there any need for the drag caper? Of course there is. The kids reading this might be too scared to go on if we didn’t inject a note of humor every once in a while.
-Vixen: “What?Three more females? They must have came from out of town, but how could I miss them? The beam covered at least 50 miles from here! Once I capture these last girls' voices, then we move on to the bigger piece..the whole country!"
*If there’s something about the “girls” that kept their voices from being stolen in the first place, I’d kinda like to know how Vixen plans to fix that with her existing technology. In any case, Vixen leaves to check the “girls” out personally.
-Vin: “Looks like the bait is coming, Vixen just came down..Wassup, girlfriend? That Xena leather suit is just you!”
*Let me make sure I got this right. Vixen came down to talk to the three “women”…in her villain outfit?!
-Nick: “Hey, mostly, like don't you think thuh princess outfit is like, ya know, so 1998, like, wow, but you're so like so totally cool! Oh, wow!"
*…damn. I don’t care if she’s from another planet, no way should Vixen be fooled by girl talk this bogus.
-Narration/Vixen: Vixen thought of something to distract them. "I just wanted to..uh.. let you know that we're auditioning for this new TV show for next year..look for some extras..and you will be compensated for your efforts!"
Kunio: "Really? What kind of parts? Are they speaking parts?"
Vixen: "Yes, oh, yes..you all fit the requirements..an Asian, a Caucasian, and one African-american female..”
*I swear to you, this, twenty-five installments into the story, is the first time I had any inkling Vin was supposed to be black. Look at the first team picture on the front page. Does that guy in the middle look darker than anybody else?
-Vixen: “but first I just need one thing.."
Vin: “Yeah? Whasszat, girlfriend?"
Vixen: "YOUR VOICES! SURRENDER THEM TO ME!"
*Sure, let me just look in my purse. It sounds like Vixen’s mugging them for their voice boxes. By the way, I didn’t leave hardly anything out of this conversation. Vixen didn’t investigate why they were unaffected by her voice-stealer, she just pitched her BS TV show thing, then tried to de-vocalize them like she had everyone else.
-Narration: The three pretended to be scared, gasped in fright. The cybercreature sang, taking the voices away.
Vixen: "Now that you're speechless, I can proceed with the entire domination of the country! Oh, yes!"
Kunio: "Oh, yes! Can I have a piece of California?"
Nick: "Like, like, who's your friend in thuh Halloween costume?"
*So no the monster didn’t steal their voices, and we knew it wouldn’t, and we knew why. Why say it did?
-Vin: “Yeah, What's wrong wid rapin'?”
*A lot, actually…
**I’m perfectly aware he meant to say “rappin’,” thanks.
-Vixen: “Blast it! These girls must be stronger than I thought! Only I can resist the siren scream! KuroAlto! Full power!"
Narration: The cybercreature zaps the girls, but it loses its voice, unable to use her power any longer!
*Wow. That monster can only do one thing, and it shorts out if it tries to do it to the wrong gender? I’ve seen some stupid-ass monsters in my time, but this…!
-Narration: At the same time, BlueScanner and SilverScanner make quick work of Vixen's cyberguards and some Kinks left behind at the satelitte dish.
B.C.: "Hey, Silver! You have any idea what this piece of rock does?"
Narration: Blue drops the crystal and it shatters into a thousand pieces! Suddenly, every female voice was scattered in the air, and back to every woman in the vicinity of 50 miles, including Toni, Professor Alex, and Sarita back at CPB.
*In case the villains weren’t coming off as pitiful enough yet, their plan is undone when the idiot comic relief drops the one all-important but fragile, vulnerable and obvious crystal her thingamajig needs to work. Good thing for him it didn’t EXPLODE or anything when all the energy went loose…
-Toni: “ALL RIGHT! I CAN TALK AGAIN!" shouted Toni. "Ma'am! Request permission to join the guys in the battle!"
*No way Jose. You’re grounded for falling into the trap that started all this nonsense.
-Nick: “Well, girl, the time for disguise is like, ya know, over! Gag me with a SPOOOOON.." said Nick, pulling off his disguise. "The jig's up, Vixen!"
Vixen: "I don't believe this! She's a he!" cried Vixen.
Vin: "Right On! If you dink you can beat us, don't even go dere, homegirl!" said Vin, doing the same.
Kunio: "You can't hit a girl, can you? Can you dig it?"
*Oh just shut up. You know what Vince, Valley-speak was only ever funny in a “what planet is this freak from” kind of way. Is that how you want us to see your heroes in your anti-Power Ranger agitprop?
**By the way, from the time Vin came up with the plan to the time they cast off their disguises, almost three pages went by. Almost half of the episode. Now’s as good a time as any to say where the basis of this episode came from. An episode of Choujin Sentai Jetman, “High School Soldier,” had pretty much the same plot: a monster steals women’s voices, and the heroes eventually catch it off-guard by having a male member of the team disguise himself as a woman. Know how long the bit lasted in Jetman, though? Thirty-seven seconds. It wasn’t dragged out, and thank God.
**Vince, I believe one of Dirty Harry’s lines was “a man’s got to know his limitations.” One of yours is not being a comedian. Translate that into your story, would ya?
-Vixen: “What happened to my "Siren of Seduction" beam? What happened to my cyberguards?"
Blue: "I happened to your satelitte dish, and your so-called 'Siren of Seduction!" replied Blue, who destroyed the crystal and the dish.
Takeshi: "I happened to your cyberpunked out guards!" said Silver, who took out Andy Roy and PB Floyd earlier.
*Vince, we read about that already. Could Vixen stop gasping in disbelief already and start getting even?
-Vixen: “I don't need that dish, nor do I need those stupid guards!" I just need my all consuming hatred to destroy you! Hyahhh!"
Narration: Vixen attacked, and Pink duelled her. The warrior woman with her sword, and Pink with her FilmBlade. KuroAlto, with her power gone, stood there, waiting for Vixen's commands. This gave the opportunity for the other Scanrangers to attack, and they do! Red led off, and used his "ZORRO ZLASH!" via his Action Film Energy. Blue uses his "Anvil Attack!", hitting the monster in the 'Anvil Chorus' fashion again!
*Why are they attacking the monster that not only isn’t hurting them, but can’t? Call me crazy, but maybe it’d make more sense to get rid of the warrior woman who’s plagued them time and time again? Or maybe this thing between her and Ton is personal. The writer might have wanted to actually involve her in the episode, then. I know, it isn’t suitably dramatic for Vixen’s demise, but damn…the villains seem even lamer since the Power Upgrade stories.
-Narration: Thunder Dolby THX wasted little time in the battle. Yellow gave the first command. "Right! SPHINX KNUCKLE!" The rocket flying fist made contact with KuroAlto's face. The cybercreature retailiates with a sonic blast which shook the ground, upending Dolby. KuroAlto continues the attack with the attempt to bury the mighty robot!
*So yeah, the Scanrangers beat the helpless monster. For some reason it can actually put up a fight now that it’s huge. I admit that makes it less annoying, but still, why only now?
-B.C.: “It ain't over till the big-boned lady sings!”
*Because slight alterations of old cliches are automatically clever. In any case, hope you weren’t enjoying Kuroalto’s badassery too much because before long she goes down again.
-Narration/Nick: “The answer came as the rangers heard the door. Nick answered. "Oh! yes! We've been expecting you! Mikey's here! Come on in!"
Contest Person: "Excuse me.." said the guest. "Is there a Kunio Mikimoto here?"
*Didn’t Nick just say he is? So’s you know, Kunio won a contest and this person’s coming to deliver his prize. Why the hell would his friends know about that rather him? Because it’s funnier that way. Duh.
-Contest Person: “I've heard about what you did, and I just wanted to give you two prizes instead of one..”
*What he did…?! What’s this stupendous achievement that warrants a second prize? Hope you like living in suspense.
-Narration: The 'guest' was wearing a blonde wig, and once had a talk show on MTV. but wasn't the person Mikey thought she was.
*So who was it, in reality and in Kunio’s mind? Hope you like living in suspense.
-Narration: In a panic, Mikey screamed, "AAAAUGGHHH!!" Like out of a cartoon, the door was already opened, and without looking, he opened the already opened door and crashed through it, running through the hall!
*He opened the already opened door..?! Forget it. Episode’s almost over, and I’m tired.
-B.C.: “What a shame.. His prizes was a night out on the town with Lucy Liu, including dinner, a show, and a limo for the weekend.. That should've been me!"
*Once again, how do you know? Did B.C. enter the same contest?
-Contest Person: “The other prize was a Sailor Mercury plush.."
Nick: "..Which I arranged to give to Mikey for upholding his part of the deal.." said Nick. With remorse, he runs to catch up with Mikey. "Mikey! I'm sorry! I can explain! Come back!"
*Kunio also won a Sailor Mercury doll, the exact thing Nick used to blackmail him into wearing a dress. So this entire thing really was pointless.
-Takeshi: Takeshi turns to the camera. "The moral of today's story is.."Things aren't always as they seem..”
Vin: “Thank you, Takeshi, for the lesson of the day.." said Vin sarcasticly. "Now we know.."
B.C.: “And knowing is half the battle!" replied B.C.(As we fade out, we hear nothing but the guys smacking B.C.'s head..)
*One last stupid, fruitless attempt at humor for the road. Why not, I’m already numb from the rest of them. For once I have to ask, why are they picking on B.C.? They started that retarded joke, he just finished it.
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish. |
Edited by - hk6909 on 08/20/2009 5:09:25 PM
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hk6909
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
651 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2009 : 11:55:34 AM
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Episode 26-Scream If You Know What Urban Nightmarish Legend I Did Last Summer on Friday the 13th Street!
Summary: Key traps the Scanrangers in a dark dimension and pits them against his robotic slasher villains. All seems lost until a cloaked deus ex machina joins the party.
Monster: Team Nightmare/KuroSlasher
URL: http://www.geocities.com/tetsuokurata/epi26.html
Rating: JJ
Rants-
-Anark Key introduces his five monsters--parodies of the villains of Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Scream, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Candyman--to his boss and an entire paragraph is spent describing them. Remember that for later. Write yourself a note if you have to.
-Anark Key: “With Team Nightmare invading the dreams of the Scanrangers, it will be child's play to trap them all into another dimension! Of course, they are at full strength during the day..Thus, attack them at night, which will make them most vulnerable!”
*At least we’re not off to a bad start, since we’re a couple paragraphs in before I find something solid to rant about. Team Nightmare doesn’t invade the Scanrangers’ dreams and it’s never been even slightly implied the Scanrangers weaken at night. This is just gibberish.
-Narration: A month later after finals, the Scanranger crew stayed in an off- campus condo owned by Rosewood, while he still kept to his police duties at CJU.
*So after getting approval to sic his slasher knockoffs on the Scanrangers, Key waits a month to launch his attack. Why?!
-The scene of the Scanrangers messing around in their shared apartment and sampling Toni’s awful cooking has to be seen to be disbelieved. With interplay that awkward and confusing, it’s a wonder how these people are not only friends but an effective superhero team.
-Nick: “Be a little sensitive to the lady, Vin! After all, with her being in the states for a couple of years and not going home, she needs some type of encouragement..”
*Yes, be sensitive to the lady, Vin. It’s not like you’re her leader in addition to being her friend. This thing about Toni being far from home could be fleshed out better. Or at all.
-Nick: “Let’s save this dish for Mikey..”
Vin and narration: “Yeah..” He won’t eat it..He hates everything..” Vin fakes a rim shot.
*In case you’re wondering, no, comedy isn’t Scanranger’s strong suit.
-Guy calling Toni about a prize giveaway: “You’re absolutely correct! You’ll pick up your prize, but first, prepare yourselves for the shock of your life!”
*Prepare all one of you for the shock of your life! That is to say, yourselves!
-Narration: Suddenly, a current of flowing electricity bathed Toni. She screamed, rendering her unconscious!
*Once again, what happens doesn’t sound like what the story says. I’m sure you can tell Toni was knocked out by the electricity, but doesn’t it sound like her scream was what did it?
-Vin: “Good Lord! TONI! TONI!”
Narration: He tried to revive her, but to no avail. He angrily picked up the phone.
Vin: “WHO THE BLAZES ARE YOU? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER? ANSWER ME!”
*That’s what I’d do if a phone zapped my friend unconscious too.
-Nick: “VIN! LET GO OF THE PHONE!”
*Maybe Nick should be the leader.
-Anark Key: “If you want your pretty partner to stay alive, you will do exactly as you’re told!!”
*Except he doesn’t tell them to do anything.
-Nick: “If you harm a hair on her head…”
Anark Key: “You mean, like this?”
Narration: He literally plucked a single strand of her hair and snaps it.
*Wow! There’s actually somebody who thought Last Action Hero was a smart movie!
-Narration: At that point, B.C. and Mikey ran into the apartment.
B.C.: “We heard the distress signal! Is Toni okay?”
*What distress signal? Toni screaming? The others seemed a little too busy to call their friends.
-Vin: “No..We’ve got to save her..The only thing is, I know for certain that Key is goading us into a trap!”
Narration: Suddenly, the door slammed, and the windows locked. Then, the entire dorm room was taken into another dimension, and it spun like it was in a tornado, a la the Wizard of Oz. The velocity of the wind knocks the four men out, then scattered them in different areas of the new dimension.
*So that’s a pointless observation on Fearless Leader’s part since they were basically trapped already.
-Narration and Toni’s dialogue: Meanwhile, Toni finally wakes up, and finds herself in a suburb. “This looks creepy..” she thought. “I’m in someone’s kitchen..” She answers the phone. “Who is it?” Crashing through the window came ‘Shriek the Slasher’!
*What was the point of Toni answering the phone? Perhaps more pertinently, is it dark and spooky and stuff where she is? Vince could’ve said so to do something for the atmosphere. For all that tells me Toni could be attacked by a psycho killer during the sunniest day ever.
-Narration: Suddenly, out of nowhere, Nick jumps on top of Shriek, twists his arm, disarmed the monster, and body slammed him on the floor.
*Does that mean he literally disarmed Shriek? I assume Shriek had a weapon because he tried to “cut” Toni, but it never says what it is. The Scanrangers rip their (robotic) enemies’ arms off or break them fairly often.
-Narration: He punches Shriek out with his bare palms, and clotheslines him.
*A bit unnecessary after already taking the bad guy out, don’t you think? And why does palming Shriek knock him out when Toni’s kick to the face earlier did nothing?
-Nick: “This is why I despise teen slasher movies!”
*And why is that?
-Kunio on the phone with Vin: “I’m not far from Livingston Ave! There’s this..thing that’s shooting everyone in sight! I couldn’t use my powers, and HURRY-”
*This is the third time a Scanranger’s answered a phone in this episode (fourth if you count Vin demanding answers). Was Vince going for a motif? Forgetting that, they’re in a recreation of Vin’s hometown, but is Kunio able to recognize it as such? How long is Livingston Avenue? And if I may gripe about one last thing, the guy attacking Kunio is armed with a hockey stick. How is he “shooting everything in sight”? The first thing that comes to mind from “shooting” for most people isn’t hockey pucks.
-Narration: The villain blasted off towards Vin, swinging his hockey blade to behead him. Vin falls down before he could strike, and kicks him in the gut. Jetzun cringed in a fetal position.
Vin: “Come on, Mikey! Our communicator has picked up Toni and Nick..They shouldn’t be far from here!”
*Again I wonder how the heck Vin got picked to lead a superhero team when he decides to leave the bad guy able to come after them. At least establish they need to hurry.
-Narration: They run around the corner and see Jetzun again.
Vin: “What?”
*They run around the corner and are attacked by the monster again. It’s because they’re trapped in a time loop, but at first I thought it was because Vin was dumb enough not to finish off Jetzun. At least take his weapon away, stupid.
-Sign: “TO SAFETY-RIGHT WAY
TO BE CUT UP INTO ITTY-BITTY PIECES-WRONG WAY(I’d turn back if I were you!!)”
*By appearances Scanranger is now trying to be equal measures funny and frightening. Some people might say there’s no such thing, but even if there is, it certainly takes a guiding hand steadier than the writer of this tripe to make it work.
-Narration: Out of nowhere, a masked chainsaw wielding maniac named LaceFace attacked B.C. He dodged the saw before he himself was sliced in two.
B.C.: “No Film Energy?! I can’t even transform! Not a good idea to fight a guy who’s supposed to be dead.. Execute the better part of valor..RUN!”
*And the worse part of intelligence by standing there talking while a maniac’s trying to kill you with a chainsaw. What’s worse, B.C. is like this all the time and hasn’t been killed thirty times over. I’m even more amazed he’s on a superhero team than Vin.
-Narration: B.C. dashed to a shack in order to hide. He finds a pretty Midwestern woman sitting near a mirror and brushing her hair.
*Midwestern? He can tell just like that?
-B.C.: “Hey, lady! Listen to me! You’ve gotta get out of here! There’s a killer on the loose!”
Narration: The woman ignored B.C. She sings, “Oh, Sugar Guy..Oh, Sugar Guy!”
B.C.: “Hey! Didn’t you hear me? You’re gonna be killed if you don’t get out right now! Come on!”
*The Scanrangers was chosen to join the team because they know lots about movies, but B.C. doesn’t know anyone who doesn’t guard themselves in a slasher movie is dead meat already.
-Narration: As B.C. was about to leave to save himself, a creature called Sugar Guy leaped out of the mirror, pulling in the helpless lady. In shock, the woman screamed as Sugar Guy had slain her.
*Remember how I asked you to keep in mind a whole paragraph went into introducing the monsters at the beginning? Why, then, has each one been re-introduced after showing up? Plus, the woman screamed after Sugar Guy killed her?
-B.C.: “NOO! YOU ANIMAL!”
*He’s this upset after being about to leave to save his own neck? And about the murder of somebody Key made up?
-B.C.: “Can’t concentrate on anything to attack them with..”
*Since he doesn’t have his powers anyway, what would the point be even if he could?
-Narration: The stranger then threw his staff , which turned into a snake, and bit LaceFace! The chainsaw slashing fiend made a hasty retreat!
*I don’t mean to belittle the power of God, since an observant reader will notice “the stranger” deriving his attacks from the plagues in The Ten Commandments, but it would take more than a snake bite to get rid of the Leatherface from the movie. Surely it would take more than that to get rid of a souped-up cyborg Leatherface.
-The stranger: “Come with me if you want to live…” quoting a line from Terminator 2.
*See what I did there?!
**Incidentally, that line was reused from the first Terminator.
-Vin: “Come on, Mikey! Our communicator has picked up Toni and Nick..They shouldn’t be far from here!”
*How much of their gear did Key leave them with? When Toni came to she noticed her changer bracelet was gone, and according to this the Scanrangers were left with their communicators which is just as stupid as leaving them with their changers. Soon it says they had their changer bracelets all along, they just didn’t work.
-Kunio: “Wait a minute! Vin! I don't know how to explain this, but do you realize we've been going around the same corner for the past half hour, in the same routine? You beat up that cybercreature, and then you said, 'Come on, Mikey!' and I said, 'Right! Let's go!'“
Vin: “Good grief, you're right! At the same time we don't know what happened to the others!”
*Oh wow. Remember how I pointed out Vin saying “What?” the first time he saw the monster again? Thought it was a bit strange, didn’t you? Well, now you know why. Despite noticing something was wrong half an hour ago, they’ve been running around the corner beating up Jetzun non-stop all that time. To think this idiot was not only chosen to lead the team, but the writer had the gall to think Vin had something to teach the leader of Choujin Sentai Jetman, one of the greatest of all Super Sentai, about how to do his job.
-Kunio: “You don't think they're..”
Vin: “No! Don't even think that! They've got to be alive! With these creatures of the night on the prowl, we're tougher than that, even with our FilmBraces on the blink! Let's find them..but first..”
*Uh…what???
-The stranger: “Come with me if you want to live..”
*That was only slightly cool the first time, Vince. Trotting it out more than once isn’t doing you any favors.
-Vin: “How do I know you're not in cahoots with MAYHEM?”
Narration: The mystery man answers by reactivating the two men's FilmBraces
*Because he’s with your friend BlueScanner? (“Vin and Mikey looked up, and saw B.C.in his BlueScanner guise and the cloaked stranger as Jetzun retreated.”) Nobody else doubted the reality of someone who appeared to be a friend, including Vin when Kunio called him on the phone. Although restoring their powers isn’t a bad way to gain their confidence either.
-Narration: Vin and Mikey transform into Red and YellowScanner respectively.
*What a gyp, I was hoping Vin would get to be YellowScanner this time. I let this go in the early episodes because after all you read Scanranger and you can’t look at the rangers’ shirts to see who’s who. But this is the twenty-sixth episode, and Vince is introducing several new characters with it. The rangers should be established enough by now we don’t need to be reminded who’s what color anymore.
-Narration: As the three dash to find the other two Scanrangers, they find themselves in a very high and dry situation.
*Who does?
-Anark Key: “This is so coolness..”
*Uh, what he said.
-Anark Key: “Since you lovebirds intervened.. ..I must eliminate the competition in order to take my share of conquering the world!”
*Wow, an incoherence hat trick. To set the scene, Key has captured Nick and Toni and is about to drop them into a lake filled with piranhas. Will their friends get there in time?!
-Narration: Friedrick Krieger then uses his Freddy Krueger type claws and cuts the rope, sending them to impending doom!
*Thanks for clearing that up. Til now I thought Friedrick Krieger was a parody of some other infamous horror movie villain.
-Narration: But, YellowScanner warps in the scene in his super mecha suit and catches Toni and Nick before the piranhas were able to get a taste!
*His super mecha suit? It probably means Yellow is using his Warp Speed Smash power where he whips up a robot suit, but could the story be bothered to say so? “Super mecha suit” could kind of be taken as his regular Scanranger suit.
-Vin: “You thought you could beat us at our own game, Anark Key?”
*He would’ve if the cloaked guy hadn’t saved them.
-Narration: The stranger then tended to Nick and Toni, reenergized their FilmBraces, and were also transformed to Green and Pink.
*He did it again!
-B.C.: “I guess you got tired of saying, 'Destroy them!', eh?”
*Weird how the characters who are supposed to be the funniest are usually the ones we want gutted like a fish the most, huh?
-Narration: The imitation 'Scream' slasher took off his cloak like a cape, covering Toni and the creature.
*Yeah, thanks for explaining again who Shriek is a spoof of. And “cloak like a cape”? Oy vey.
-Toni and narration: “On the contrary, here comes your final cut!” Pink replied as she disappears. She used a hologaphic illusion and in no time flat, shouted, “CHARISSE KICK!” Shriek was out cold once again.
*It’s the Super Scan Friend Rangers! Holograms are not Pink’s power, they’re Green’s.
-Narration: B.C. then saw Sugar Guy lunge at him. He jumps out of the way, only to see Sugar Guy run into LaceFace.
*What I hate about this is the seeming implication that Bluescanner, a superhero worse than Bibleman and Aquaman put together, is such a bad mother even two monsters at once can’t beat him.
-B.C. and narration: “Speed-Bo Staff!" He pulls it out, and using his 'Pause' button underneath his FilmBrace, he summons his Comedy Film Energy.
*The Scanrangers have used the power to pause monsters before, but it never ceases to amaze me how they could have such a handy power and use it so rarely, not to mention how lame it is to give them such a power in the first place.
-Narration and B.C.’s dialogue: Out of one end of his Speed-Bo Staff, was a giant mallet (similar to one of Goggle Yellow's weapons)STOP!" shouted B.C. as he froze LaceFace and Sugar Guy. "HAMMER TIME!" Like the cartoons, BlueScanner pounded the two Team Nightmare villains on the noggin, and out for the count!
*Because to be a good writer, you need to provide an example of what a mallet looks like. Don’t say that like Goggle Yellow had the only ever, Vince. Despite the scorn I heap on this bit, I’m not a complete bastard. If some poor soul out there really does need to see Goggle Yellow’s weapon to know what a mallet looks like, check the link (http://www.supersentai.com/database/1982_goggle_five/arsenal.html)
-Krieger: “My master has given me powers beyond what Mr. Krueger couldn't imagine!”
*What?
-Narration: His answer was a bullet that barely grazed Vin past his face. The impact pushed Vin to the wall, knocking him semiconscious. Moments later, he saw his girl also unconscious. He crawled to May, but it was too late. She was already dead!
*Krieger makes Vin relive the most traumatic moment of his life, the time he failed to save a girlfriend from being killed. You’ve got to give him credit for being so adept with sinister imagery, making the girl unconscious then immediately dead.
-Vin: “It's too late..AND TOO SLOW, KRIEGER!”
Narration: He grabbed Krieger's hand and in Steven Seagal fashion, and snaps his arm in half.
*Too slow? That line was probably lifted from some real movie, but like most such transplants in Scanranger, sounds completely out of place.
-Vin: “Bringing back my past where my sweetheart was killed was a mistake! That event made me stronger and able to finally fight back! Nobody messes with my mind and gets away with it!”
*Vin is able to not only able to easily throw off Krieger’s attempt to demoralize him, he uses his rage to fuel his strength and easily demolishes the monster. Why yes, that is pretty lame now that you bring it up, and suggestive that Vince Jones might want to take one of those Mary Sue tests for his characters. Couldn’t he have had to struggle a little?
-Jetzun: “And now, it's time for the Power Play! Mario has nothing on what I'm about to do next!”
*Uh, okay then!
-Kunio: “When I give the signal and say 'Go!', run to your left! I'll go to the right!”
*Wouldn’t one signal or the other be better than both?
-YellowScanner and GreenScanner’s battle with Jetzun is indeed something to behold, and probably the stupidest thing in the episode. Jetzun shoots his boomerang weapon at them and they run out of the way, but use Green’s illusion powers to make it look like they didn’t so it comes back and slices up the guy who threw it. The only problem is Yellow didn’t tell Green the plan, Green just knew it despite only being told “Trust me!” And Green’s powers were what the plan hinged on. It would’ve been nice if Vince had bothered to tell us the Scanrangers had telepathy.
-Vin: “Rule number three in the good guys handbook.. Good triumphs over evil! Give it up, Key!”
*How about you give it up? Attempting comedy, that is.
-Narration and combination dialogue: In Japanese, they shout as one form, “NIGHTMARE GATTAI!(Combine) KUROSLASHER!”
*Having been defeated at normal size Team Nightmare combines into its ultimate form, the giant KuroSlasher. I know this story is based on Japanese TV shows, but it’s set in New Jersey, the villain who created them is from England, and has shown no interest whatever in Japan. Why is what they say to combine in Japanese?
-Though they’re in another dimension, the Scanrangers are able to call their big robots to fight the monster. In fact they’re able to call their second robot when they have trouble beating the monster with just one. This implies the robots can leave as easily as they came, and made me wonder why they stuck around to save Key’s made-up world from Team Nightmare.
-Narration: KuroSlasher pulls out a double-bladed sickle-one side had a sickle, the other a chainsaw. With the sickle side, KuroSlasher blasted an energy beam at the center of BlockBuster's chest, causing serious damage.
Vin: “This guys too quick for us! THUNDER DOLBY!”
*This is why the Scanrangers call their other robot, because somehow being shot with an energy beam means the monster’s too fast for the one they’re using. And Thunder Dolby was never established as being fast for a giant robot.
-Narration: The punch also snaps KuroSlasher's staff in half. The lead robot then throws KuroSlasher over and smashes him to the ground!
*Scanranger sure doesn’t like its villains to stay threatening for long, disarming KuroSlasher so easily. Which one is the “lead” robot, anyhow?
-The stranger: “Well done, good and faithful servants of Hollywood..Until the next time..”
*This is an unsettling line in light of future revelations. Namely, the stranger is a seminary student with film powers whose faith gives him the power to call up movies with Judeo-Christian religious elements, as demonstrated earlier when he used a snake and frogs to fend off Team Nightmare. Doesn’t his line make it sound like Hollywood is some kind of pantheon? What kind of theology does he study?
-Narration: Back in Nebultopia, Anark Key, obviously ticked off, turns and sees one of the Team Nightmare members. The others follow after Krieger.
*So why only mention the one?
-Nick: “Are you all right, Vin Man?”
Vin: “I'm not certain, after that battle..Key's powers must be more powerful than we ever imagined..since we fought them the past few times with their own version of our Film Energy..I thought that the professor had mentioned that there were only three or four other people spread over the world possessing the power of Film Energy..It can't be MAYHEM..because his henchmen, Key, Vixen, and Ug have something that's similar skills..”
*It’s true a long time ago they said there were probably a couple other people with film energy, but it didn’t say how the rangers knew or who they might be, and I for one am not sure how you’d know the first without knowing the second. And whoever those people are they’re not MAYHEM, whose film energy was stolen from the rangers. But the Scanrangers don’t (or shouldn’t be able to) know that. How do the Scanrangers know Blackorg didn’t form his group from the other people who have film energy in the first place? What makes MAYHEM’s film energy different from theirs?
-B.C.: “Unless, that stranger who assisted us in that other dimension is one of the genuine recipients of Project:Paramount Film Energy..”
*Can they somehow tell the stranger got his powers from the same place they did? Are there different kinds of film energy? As a matter of fact yes, the stranger did get his film powers from Project Paramount, but this is after the story established the Scanrangers and MAYHEM aren’t the only ones around who have superhuman powers.
-Closing narration: The battle with MAYHEM had almost drained our heroes. However, with some outside help from an inspirational source, they were able to win. What was the stranger's agenda? How did he know about the Scanranger's identities? More questions, but to be answered for another time...
*Where did “inspirational” come from? How do they figure he knew their identities? More questions, but to be answered for a never time…
-Next episode teaser: “In our next Scanranger adventure, just when you thought our heroes had proved that they can just act, just wait till you see them sing and dance! To replace five teenage heartthrobs, the rangers and a very popular boy band switch places for a week! Watch out, 98 Degrees! N*Sync, Eat your heart out! Back off, Backstreet Boys! You too, "Three Lights"!(for all you Sailor Star fans out there) Here come the newest singing sensations of all time!”
*Amazing how pomposity inflicts blindness to its own presence. The newest singing sensations of all time. That’s almost my new favorite line. And when did I think the Scanrangers proved they could act?
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish. |
Edited by - hk6909 on 10/01/2009 3:14:34 PM |
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hk6909
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
651 Posts |
Posted - 08/11/2009 : 08:39:57 AM
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Episode 27-Main Street Men
Summary: Discovering they each look exactly like the members of a famous boy band, the Scanrangers agree to impersonate them for a while as being dedicated students and on call to save the world isn’t taking up their time. This turns out to be a good thing as MAYHEM goes after the band for some insignificant reason.
Monster: KuroToad
URL: http://www.geocities.com/tetsuokurata/epi27.html
Rating: JJJ
Rants-
-Obliviously, a boy band is featured prominently in this episode and so is their manager. His name is Garry, but for some reason I felt compelled to call him Mighty Manager. Just so you’re not confused.
-Narration: More than six thousand miles away, a quintet of young men await in the dark. It looked like the backstage of an arena hall or theater.
*Six thousand miles away from where? This is the first sentence in the episode. And you don’t have to say it looks like they’re backstage somewhere, just say they are.
-Narration: A guy who seemed to be a stage manager, were getting the five in position.
*What’s with the vagueness??
-Narration: The time-8:30 Tokyo time. The place-Tokyo Dome-A sold-out concert! As the opening act concluded, the M.C. barked in Japanese,…
*You don’t say! An M.C. speaking Japanese to a Tokyo crowd?! I thought Vince only pulled this crap when Jetman was around.
-M.C.: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE FINAL NIGHT IS HERE!”
*It sure feels like the end of the world whenever I’m reading Scanranger.
-Narration: The five male singers ascended, like they were beaming down a spaceship.
*Vince, for the last time, ascend is up! Descend is down!
-Narration: The music began, they began to dance, and the mostly female crowd went wild, jumping, dancing and bouncing to the Main Street Men's favorite tunes!
*To the band’s music, or the band’s favorite music? I’ve never heard of a boy cover band, but who’s to say musicians listen to the same kind of music they make?
-Narration: Six thousand plus miles to the east, Central NJ University, deserted because of the summer session, and our heroes whom are off campus, do some housework for Rosewood, who gave them rooms to stay for the summer.
*Oh six thousand miles away from there.
-Narration: Kunio was the only one back in summer session to make up for class to bring his grades up as he was on his way to the study lounge.
*I remember hearing Alex’s policy on making up classes in summer school. Mainly that he was OFF THE TEAM until they were done.
-Kunio: “Hey..It's Carmen.."
Narration: He had been somewhat pursuing his classmate since the Art History class they had taken together. He wanted so much to get to know her, but Carmen continusly ignored him.
Kunio: "How's it going, Carmen? Como esta?"
*I’m not exactly Casanova, but even I know if you think you’re being smooth by asking a Latina woman “Como esta?”, you deserve not to get the date.
-Carmen/Narration: “Wow.." she said. Carmen was in awe, reading info about the 'Main Street Men' coming to the New Jersey Performing Arts Center in two weeks. "Oh, wow..It'll be a dream to see Jason Jefferson sing! He's so hot!"
Kunio: “Big deal...however, but doesn't he look like someone very familiar?"
Narration/Carmen: Carmen was somewhat annoyed by Mikey trying to get her attention. "You know, he does.." Mikey was hoping that she'll finally listen..
*Why should she want to listen to someone who belittles her chance to meet her favorite celebrity? There’s being an imperfect character and then there’s being a plain old jerk.
-Carmen: "You know, he does..Like one of those..Backroad guys or something.."
*What are you telling us, Vince? There’s TWO Backstreet Boys knockoffs in your world? Or maybe the real band exists in the Scanranger world too, and the band you invented, the most obvious ripoff ever, hasn’t literally had the pants sued off them?
-Narration/Kunio: “Mikey felt somewhat frustrated. "What will it take to get her to notice me? What? What?!" he said to himself.
*I’m no couples counselor, but you might want to look inward in search of answers too, playa.
-Narration: At that moment, Kunio's FilmBrace started to ring, and he covered it, going around the corner to answer it.
Kunio: "What's up, Vin?"
Vin: "Meet me at the train station..I just wanted to remind you that we need to meet Professor Alex at Newark Airport this afternoon.."
Kunio: "But..but..I was trying to set up..uh a date with Carmen.."
Vin: "Your love life has to wait, sketch boy.. The rest of the crew will see you at 2:30.."
*Why does his love life have to wait? Does the whole team need to be there to welcome Alex? Kunio’s supposed to be on suspension while he’s making up classes, which is aided how by demanding that he drop everything to PICK ALEX UP AT THE AIRPORT?
**Oh, right, because if the whole group wasn’t there, it wouldn’t work as well when they run into the Main Street men and notice the resemblance. Besides, it’s not as if he would’ve gotten anywhere with Carmen even if he’d stayed.
-Narration: Meanwhile, a plane flight took off back to the states, with the Main Street Men and their crew. Sitting in business class, they all looked tired.
Mighty Manager: "Here it is, Jason.." said Garry, their agents.
*Yep, here it comes. One guy is multiple agents?
-Mighty Manager: “After the last tour, keep in mind that all of you have that music video shoot the next day..and-"
Main Street Man: "Just a second! What video?!? You said that we were gonna lay down low for a month!"
Mighty Manager: "I know, but E.T.(Entertainment Tonight) wanted to get that exclusive interview and check out those behind the scene shots, too-"
*Why not just say Entertainment Tonight? If E.T. came back to Earth and started working for Rolling Stone, say that instead.
-Main Street Man: “What press conference?"
*Indeed, what press conference. An interview was mentioned, but that’s not the same thing as a press conference. A bunch of red-hot celebrities would probably know the difference.
-Main Street Man: “You know, it's a shame that there aren't anybody who can take our place while we recover..."
Main Street Man: "There's our excuse, Garry! The MSM are suffering from jet lag, thus the video shoot must be cancelled..”
*??! Are those thoughts supposed to be connected? It sounds like it, yet it doesn’t.
-Mighty Manager: “Oh no, you don't.. You're not gonna try the Madonna illness bit..Your fans are no fools.."
*Besides, burnt out musicians are so photogenic. Falling asleep in your chair in the middle of an interview will be great for your image. And considering how quickly he jumps on the impersonator idea once it becomes viable, Mighty Manager doesn’t seem to think that much of the fans’ powers of observation after all.
-Narration: While Joe listened to the rest of the gang, he clenched on a small crystal. He held on to it like a good luck charm, since a British fan gave it to him a month ago. It glowed while it was under his shirt. However, it attracted little attention, except outer space. The wicked Lady Vixen felt the presence of the crystal.
Vixen: "Power..Oh yes, and in the hands of a musician.."
Blackorg: "Indeed..my lovely Vixen.." replied the sinister Blackorg. "In addition to the now dead humans I asked Anark Key to retrieve months ago, I can use that crystal as a key to my next plan for domination of this planet.. Take Ug along to ensure the crystal's capture!"
*So what is this crystal? Where did it come from? What power does it have? Hope you like living in suspense.
-Narration: And not far away, in a meeting hall, the stranger who assisted the Scanrangers in the previous episode completed a spiritual conversation with one of his friends.
*Not far away from outer space?
-Peter: “I would encourage you, brother to just stay focused. In Chapter Six, he said, 'Do not worry..'" He pauses. "I've got to go..Someone actually needs my help.."
*Pardon me, but does it or doesn’t it sound like he’s downplaying the needs of the person he’s giving spiritual instruction? Besides, don’t we have a team of, what’s the word, superheroes around to handle major emergencies?
-Peter: “I sense great danger, and the Scanrangers seem to need my help again...I pray with the Almighty One's strength that I can make this happen.."
*Well if you do have almighty strength in your corner, probably. Besides, this is Scanranger. You’re not exactly dealing with A-list evildoers.
-Kunio: “Now, was it Gate 32 or 23? Why did I had to be the one in school for the summer? I could've been off like the rest of the gang.."
*What does that have to do with not being able to find the gate?
-Vin: “Professor! Toni! How was Chicago?"
Alex: "My kind of town, but you wouldn't want to live there..."
*Up yours, Alex.
**I’m kind of curious what Alex (and more to the point Toni) were doing in Chicago together. Is the reason Kunio’s not on suspension to make up for Toni being away in case MAYHEM tried anything?
-Toni: “It's kinda cool..dear teacher had shown me around the fun parts of the Windy City..seeing 'Slammin' Sammy hit two, and then went down to the Field Museum right after that.."
*So Toni went to Chicago WITH HER TEACHER just as part of summer vacation?? Can’t it even have been for the quarterly meeting of Project Paramount branch heads? ’Cause you know what, yeah, it’s weird to socialize with your teachers. Especially when both of you are protecting a secret identity. Get some friends, for Pete’s sake.
-Fangirls/Narration: “Look, Kate! Was that who I thought it was?" Kate did a double take. "My gosh, Kelly! That was Jason Jefferson! We've got to go see him! I want his autograph!" The giddy teenage girls ran after him.
(a few paragraphs later) Narration: Poor Mikey was still trying to elude the autograph seekers..Nick saw him coming down the gate. "Hey, Mikey! We're over-"
*Doesn’t sound like he was aware of being chased by the fangirls, does it? And later he eats up the chance to impersonate a celebrity to get girls, what gives? Then again that’s probably different because then he’s staying true to the selfish shrew who doesn’t acknowledge his existence.
-Narration: Kunio runs past the crew.He was unaware that he was about to crash into Jason, which he does! They both fall down.Fortunately, the MSM's bodyguards blocked the two girls from coming any closer.
*Fortunately the singers we barely have any reason to care about are protected from their rabid fans.
-Main Street Man: “Yo, Man! Why don't you flipping look where you're going?"
Narration/Kunio: Jason then stares at Mikey, as he does the same. "I'm sorry, sir..I-" Seeing the similarity, they just stood there.
Toni: "Guys..Is it me or am I seeing double?"
B.C.: "No no no.. I do believe that we've ran into some celebrities..It'd be so cool just to switch places with them..even for a week.."
*What a convenient thought!
-Alex: “Who are these guys?”
Vin: "These are the Main Street Men..one of the most popular boy bands that's ever performed..not that I listen to these guys..”
*Vin can identify the Main Street Men on sight, yet apparently neither he, his friends or anyone they’ve ever come in contact with has caught the resemblance before the two groups meet face-to-face. How long have the Main Street Men been popular?
**That’d be silly enough if this was your standard protagonist-celebrity-doppleganger episode, but let’s remember how ALL FIVE male Scanrangers look exactly like the five members of a red-hot boy band plus or minus some facial hair. That’s pushing it even for Sentai.
-Mighty Manager: “Excuse me, miss..Are you responsible for these fun kids?"
Alex: "Yes, what about them?"
Mighty Manager: "I have a proposition for you.." Garry brought Alex over to the side. "If you don't mind, I would like to 'borrow' your students.."
Alex: "Borrow them? What for? My students are about to prepare themselves for school in about two weeks...That may be difficult at such short notice..."
Mighty Manager: "I can arrange it where your pupils can register on time, as well as a vacation getaway of their choosing during your next holiday break.."
Alex: "You can talk to them..provided they get an appearance in your next video, and a backstage pass for one of the next concert.."
*sigh* Here we go. How much authority does Alex have over the rangers in non-saving-the-world matters? She’s not picking dates for the rangers (she just promised Mighty Manager could talk to them), but she is acting like their agent. “One of the next concert”?
-Mighty Manager: “Listen..guys..I've got a proposition for you, and if you desire to be rewarded handsomely, I can have you all in the next MSM video..."
B.C.: "It's been sort of a boring summer, anyway.." said B.C. I'm game.."
Vin: "How much..handsomely, may I ask?"
Mighty Manager/Narration: "About this much.." said Garry, writing out a check and showing it to the male rangers. Nick and Vin look at it and both respond, "CH-CHING!"
*I suddenly feel massively less dorky than I did when I started this review.
-Mighty Manager: “Don't worry, Toni..You won't be left out..I plan to make you the co-director of the new video..You look like a dancing person..
*Dang, how do you not get picked for important/high-profile jobs in this universe?
-Narration/Kunio: Mikey thought about Carmen in the midst of this meeting. "This will definitely be advantageous for yours truly.." He thought about Carmen's comment..'It'll be a dream to see Jason Jefferson sing! He's so hot!' "This will give me an opportunity to prove myself to her, to have her to like me..but she won't know that it'll be me, but Jason Jefferson!"
*My, what big sleaze you have, grandma. Seriously, this guy’s getting all hot and bothered at the chance to have a girl fawn over him because she won’t know it’s really that dorky guy who follows her around all the time. What’s laudable about that?
**On the other hand, thank you, Vince Jones, for creating characters that consistently make me feel better about my shortcomings.
-Narration: A few days later, the rangers show up at the MSM's studio. They look around and check out a trophy case of their platinum records, plus some pictures of them with Jennifer Lopez, one shot with the President, and one with the group Destiny's Child.
*Holy crap, is a little humility too much to ask?
**And the band’s headquarters is in Jersey?
-Mighty Manager: “Well, Main Street Men II, are you ready?"
Kunio: "Ready, Will Smith, and Abel Ferrara.."
*That wasn’t funny the first time, Vince. And way to protect your secret identity, citizen of a town with a movie-themed superhero team.
-Narration: Moments later, Toni was instructing the five rangers in their dance steps for the Main Street Men's music video. They grunted and pushed themselves, trying to keep in step with her.
Toni: "B.C., You're supposed to move with the left, not the right foot! Again!! Vin, you need to speed up some more after that leap!"
Vin: Vin thought to himself, "What happened to the compassionate, easy going Toni I knew? She's like a first sergegant when it comes to choreographing!"
Toni: "NO TALKING! KEEP MOVING! ONE, TWO, THREE, SPIN! FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, SPIN!"
*Who talked? Vin specifically “thought to himself.”
-Toni: “I'm actually having a lot of fun pushing these guys to the limit..I'm enjoying this.."
*Fear her redundancy powers.
-Narration: Then with sudden confidence, Mikey then sang as he had never sang before. Vin and Nick was blown away.
*Vince seriously shouldn’t have used this plot, even more than he shouldn’t have used most of his plots. Not only has the “Prince and the Pauper” yarn been rehashed so many times I’ve seen a cartoon where Mark Twain rises from the grave and begs writers to let it die, but musical performances are one of the hardest things to pull off in a written medium. But if he let little things like that stop him, Scanranger wouldn’t exist in the first place, and the world would be a poorer place for it.
-Narration: Vin, Nick, B.C. and Takeshi each got their turn at singing, with Vin, not surprisingly, did a hip-hop tune. B.C. took a shot and did a drum solo, like his counterpart, Joseph. Takeshi, reserved as he was, even did a love ballad, a slow version of Simon & Garfunkel's 60's hit, 'Bridge Over Troubled Water'. Nick got a chance to play the sax, and sounded good!
*Truly this is the most awkward part of an awkward episode. Why are they playing instruments? I admit I know very little about boy bands but most of the ones I’ve seen just sing and dance. And why were they all learning to dance if some play instruments? As for singing, shouldn’t they be learning to sing in the band’s style? I mean, hip-hop might, at a long stretch, be comparable to how the Main Street Men sing (why I’d assume that’s Vin’s area, I don’t know. Oh yeah, he’s black), but somehow I seriously doubt 60’s Simon and Garfunkel sounds anything like what a modern boy band sings.
-Narration: As the Scanrangers got to play celebrities, the next day, the real Main Street Men take advantage of their free time and relax at a private undisclosed swimming pool.
*A private undisclosed one, huh?
-Main Street Man: “This is very unheard of.. We're the only group I know who ever had understudies to go on tour for us..”
*That you know. And you’re keeping it a secret, so why wouldn’t anyone else?
-Main Street Man: “I kind of envy them.."
Main Street Man: "Why should you, T.J.? We still at least get paid..these guys chose to volunteer for free..”
*My ass. “CH-CHING,” remember? It never said the rangers gave the money back or donated it somewhere.
-Narration: Jason's comment was interrupted by a bubbling waterspout coming out their pool, Commander Vixen, General Ug, and a new cybercreature!
*Took your time, bad guys. The time between the rangers’ meeting with the Main Street Men and their training to impersonate was “a few days.”
-Vixen: “I see that these musicians are very popular." thought Vixen. "If I were to put them up for ransom, the fans would be in panic..." We'll take them all..Oh, yes!"
*Where does she see that? By the way, forget about the crystal they were sent to steal, Vixen just kidnaps the whole band to hold them ransom. Couldn’t Vixen have done this on her own, in her desire to amass more boy toys?
-Narration: Moments later, the mysterious stranger who assisted the Scanrangers, arrived at the MSM's pool. "Blast! I'm too late..Got to get help!" The one named Peter ran to find the movie task force.
*Even God looks bad in Scanranger. Peter receives a message from Above that the Main Street Men are to be the targets of foul play, but not in time to get there to prevent it. I can understand God’s plans being fumbled by human hands--I’ve seen a lot of Bibleman after all--but that’s just it. Since Vince doesn’t deign to explain what took Peter so long, it seems more like the fault of the one who sent the message than Peter’s.
-Narration: Back at Cape Paramount Base, the team seemed exhausted. Everyone, except Toni, of course, felt like they were in pain.
*Again with the seeming! If they’re in pain it would seem to be authentic exhaustion.
-Alex: “How are you feeling, superstar?"
B.C.: "This is all your fault! What happens if MAYHEM attacks while we're sore? We can't fight like this!"
*That is a bit of a concern. Nice planning skills, Alex.
-Alex: “Don't blame me, Mr. wanna-be celebrity..It was your idea to agree with doing this mission.."
*This MISSION???? You feeling okay, Alex? Besides, if B.C., would-be destroyer of universes, speaks for the group, then you’re the idiot for going along with anything he said.
-Narration: At once, the emergency signal went off, waking up the team. Sarita picked up the signal. "Professor Alex! Listen to this! It's a video that MAYHEM sent to the MSM's record company!" The Scanrangers responded and watched the screen, seeing Vixen and KuroToad keeping watch of the kidnapped Main Street Men!
*So why exactly is it being sent to them? Through what channels? Does Mighty Manager know their secret?
-Vixen: “Attention, chief holders of StarLight Records! I represent MAYHEM, and we shall have your undivided attention! We have your popular money-making singers on ice! These handsome men whom you call-the Main Street Men! Our negotiations are quite simple..Your company for your superstars, and it would be such a shame to waste these lovely males, especially for those female fans of the earth? You have 24 hours to decide..Do choose wisely..the fate of this ..'boy band' is in your hands!"
*StarLight Records, huh? Cute. And Vince managed to reference something without bashing the audience over the head with it. Impressive. Anyway, if I’m hearing this right, the debate here boils down to turning over the company to a villain who’ll commit who knows what acts of evil with it vs. the safety of five annoying singers and the disappointment of a few million teens and tweens going through a phase. Can you imagine being a teen who pleaded for the MSM’s release at your high school reunion? “Hey Christy. Remember when we were kids and that super villain held that boy band for ransom? And then when they gave her the record company she released all those CDs that had subliminal messages telling kids to kill their parents? And you were all like ‘Screw the world, Jason Jefferson’s too hot to die!’”
-Vin: “That's all? I thought it was something important.."
Kunio: "Get serious, Vin! These guys are in trouble! Indirectly, we owe them..After all, who do you know was willing to help these guys to have a normal life, instead of being pestered by autograph hounds..”
*It is pretty minor, you know. What does Vixen think she’ll do with control of a record company anyway? And by sending the shareholders an ultimatum, isn’t it possible people would know a super villain was running the company? Besides, it sounds like the MSM owe the Scanrangers for giving them a chance to escape the fans for a while, not the other way around.
-Vin: “Vin hesitated, and then agrees. "You're right, Mikey..Although I felt forced to do this, this is for helping out the world..This is our responsiblity.."
*Helping out the world? By saving the current flash-in-the-pan music group? Yeah, the Scanrangers’ job is to save people from danger, I’m not arguing against that. Aren’t we blowing the stakes a little out of proportion here, though?
**And let’s remember you felt forced to do this for an insane amount of money. Or did their reasons for doing this change at some point without the reader being notified?
-Kunio: “Since Vixen's expecting us to save the group, what say we put our new skills into practice?"
Vin: "Yeah, we can confuse the villainess into thinking she has the wrong guys! All we have to do is to convince the fan club members that the concert will go on tonight as planned.."
*Do the fans know the band’s been kidnapped in the first place? Come to think of it, didn’t we just have an episode centered around the Scanrangers disguising themselves to fool Vixen?
-Alex: “Brillant idea, Kunio..I can make my usual arragements with the concert promoters..to have the concert outside the Pefrorming Arts Center..”
*Her usual arrangements??? Is there anything Alex isn’t in charge of?
-Alex: “I'll call Garry and let him know there's no cause for alarm.."
*I know I’ve been downplaying the urgency of things, but the band’s still kidnapped.
-Somebody: “Right!" Let's go, rangers!"
Narration/B.C.: As they run towards the exit, B.C. replies, Go Rangers? Isn't that the first sentai in-" Nick grabs B.C.
*See what I did there?!
-Narration: It was six o'clock, and the fans started to enter, some hoping to see their favorite singers.
*But most of the attendees were dragged along by their friends.
-Vixen: “The poor humans shall panic since we kidnapped these 'Main Street Men..”
*Well, their fans probably will. Are you really telling me a boy band’s capture would be cause for panic in the streets, Vince?
-Narration: Vixen saw the Scanrangers, who was posing as the MSM…
*One.
-Ug: “Lady Vixen..if that's the singing men we captured, who did we catch?"
Vixen: "It can't be! We have them! And we have already captured the object Lord Blackorg wanted..the crystal! But the one singing has it too! Unless these men are phonies themselves! One way to find out!" The villainess releases the MSM from their static prison. They land with a thud. "Prove to us you are the real so-called Main Street Men.." demanded Vixen.
Narration/Vixen: A mistake on Vixen's part, since all the real MSM had to do was to sing badly, which Jason did, and T.J. and Joe followed. "I don't know how I got you confused, but whomever did this switch, shall pay dearly!" She teleports the group, back to where they originated, at the pool side.
*Give me a break. MAYHEM has the technology to create life, and they have no way to tell if their captives are the real singers other than having them sing? And Vixen hadn’t noticed the resemblance to her mortal enemies before now? Get rid of these villains, Vince. They’re a lost cause.
-Narration: Soon after that, PinkScanner made her appearance.
Main Street Man: “Who are you, Power Ranger Special Forces?"
Toni: "I'm here to rescue you..You want me to send you back to your kidnappers?"
*You know what PinkScanner, f--- you. Do you really think that was an insult? And would you really give them back to MAYHEM if it was?
-Narration: three MAYHEM members then went on to confront the MSM aka the Scanranger men.
*Two. And why did they need to release their captives before doing that?
-Narration: Kunio, as Jason,…
*Three.
-Narration: His dream was about to be fulfilled. Carmen was in his sights. He approached Carmen and brought her on the stage. She was stunned, yet she was unaware that she was in Mikey's arms.
*Four.
-Narration: After the song, before they were about to make a costume change. Vin, aka T.J. shouted to the crowd.
*Five.
-Vixen/Narration: “YOU WILL GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE DESTROYED!" interrupted Vixen, speaking from top of the stage. As that was going on, the mysterious stranger was hidden in the crowd.
Peter: "It's them! I'll bide my time before she makes a move to attack.."
*Um…shouldn’t he nip this in the bud? The villains are here, that means there’s going to be a fight, and there are hundreds of people around who could be fried by a stray laser blast. What the hell, Messenger of God?
-Kunio: “Who are you?"
Vixen: "Don't insult my intelligence!”
*You don’t need any help with that!
-Vixen: “Now, in front of these hopeless humans, now it is time to end your miserable lives in front of this crowd!”
*In front of what?
-Narration: The one named Peter was about to make his move, until he recognized Vin's voice.
*And that means he shouldn’t do anything?
-A Scanranger: “NOT ON OUR WATCH, VIXEN! OUR PATIENCE IS ABOUT UP NOW! SURRENDER NOW, OR ELSE!"
*What would they do with her if she actually did decide she had enough and surrendered?
-Nick: “OR ELSE THIS!" replied Nick, posing as Doug. He, Vin, Mikey, and B.C. shouted, "LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! SCANRANGER!"
*Six. Six times Vince thought we needed to be reminded that the Main Street Men on stage weren’t actually the Main Street Men. Despite the fact that we saw them agree to do this, train to do this, and confirm that they were going to do this to fool MAYHEM. And would anyone honestly bother to remember the band member’s names, let alone which one looks like which ranger?
-Toni: “The real Main Street Men are safe, where you won't find them!"
*Nobody in the crowd hears this? I’m asking based on the epilogue.
-Vixen: “Oh, yes! I'll surrender indeed..The moment you're all destroyed!”
*You’ll what??
-Narration: Silver went after Ug as the general blasted Silver with his battle axe, yet Silver's SabreMagnum deflected the blast right at Ug, taking him out!
*The tough guy was taken out in one hit. His own, at that. Yeah, Vince, send away for new villains, okay?
-Narration: The cybercreature's tongue went to attack Yellow, but Pink intercepts the tongue, grabs it, and cuts it with her FilmBlade. KuroToad falls back.
Toni: "Uh uh! Bite your tongue!"
*Uh…yeah.
-Narration: The plasma beam incinerates KuroToad. Of course, it wasn't over yet, since the new cybercreature had an implanted KillerByte in their robotic nervous system. It activates and grows into a giant! The defeated Vixen and Ug escape. In sentai fashion, Red makes the call. "THUNDER DOLBY!" Silver calls up WideScreener. The crowd, unusually stay to see the battle, thinking it was still part of the concert.
*Don’t their robots have a gizmo to take the fight into another dimension specifically for the purpose of avoiding accidentally squishing people? If it’s worth using when they’re miles from civilization, why not when bystanders are actually at risk?
-Peter: “The only way to defeat that monster is for the two of you to combine your strength!"
Kunio: “This creature is tougher than the others we battled.."
*So why are you fighting it with your weaker robots? For some reason Scanranger considers their more powerful robot the back-up one, but heck if I know why.
-Kunio: “Why should we trust you?"
Peter: "I give you my word.."
*And because he saved your asses last time too?
-Narration: Peter appeared in Dolby's cockpit with the other Scanrangers. He touches the console, then teleports to WideScreener's cockpit and does the same. At once, the two robots blast off into the air. WideScrrener separates, similar to the separation when Silver becomes SuperScreener. This time, WS separates to become the armor of Thunder Dolby!
Peter: “Behold, holy warriors of Hollywood.. Dolby Screener!”
*A little late with that, aren’t you? Most Sentai learn to combine their original robots BEFORE they get another generation of mecha. Again, what’s with the “holy Hollywood” stuff?
-Narration: With the six Scanrangers in the cockpit, Red in the middle, Yellow to the left of him, Pink far left, Blue to the right of Red, and Green far right. Silver was behind Red.
*The seating arrangement in the robot’s never been described before. Why do you suddenly care, Vince? And what makes you think anyone reading does?
-Vin: “Ready to try an old move, Silver?"
Takeshi: "Yoshi! Right! Are we talking about the Cyclone?"
Vin: "I'm talking cyclone, dude! Let's do this!"
Narration: The movie task force jumped into the air, and began to spin towards KuroToad. Using an old but now updated techinque, they targeted the cybercreature.
*They jumped, or the robot did?
-Narration: Using an old but now updated techinque, they targeted the cybercreature. They shout, "DOLBY SCREENER CYCLONE!" and ran through the monster, KuroToad was destroyed by the impact! At the same time, the MSM crowd went wild! They thought the rangers and the stage show was part of the concert! Peter blended into the crowd once more.
Peter: "Excellent cover, Scanrangers...We will meet again soon.."
*Excellent cover, Scanraners. You unnecessarily endangered hundreds of people in two different types of battle. Truly you are the Holy Warriors of Hollywood.
-Mighty Manager: “On behalf of the MSM and their fans, I want to thank you all for saving their lives..and for that, I assure you your secret will be safe..Professor Alex had confirmed that.."
*So a boy band can be trusted with the secret, but not Vin’s sensei he’s known since he was a child. Come on, they didn’t even try to find an alternative to exploding out of their singer disguises on stage.
**How did Alex confirm their silence, might I ask? Did she surgically implant bombs in them that’ll go off if they say the words “Vin” and “red” in the same sentence or something?
-Main Street Man: “I must admit..that was a good coverup for us..You really had the crowd believing we were the superheroes out there.." said T.J.
Main Street Man: "Do you have any idea what you did to our group?!?" said Joe. "Now we're more popular than ever, and that stage show you pulled gave us more promotions to cover.."
Narration: Joe showed the rangers a copy of The Nation's Requirer, a tabloid paper. The headline read, "REVEALED! MAIN STREET MEN ARE REALLY SCANRANGERS".
*Sorry. Didn’t all this get started because they were burning out? And what’s come of people thinking they’re the Scanrangers? Are they going to stage battles at concerts and on tours? Is MAYHEM going to take that sitting down?
**And once again, the Scanrangers look just like a bunch of famous singers minus a goatee or a pair of glasses. Singers who the media is saying are the Scanrangers. How can they hope to keep their identities a secret now? I’m sorry, but Scanranger hasn’t earned the good will necessary for us to assume the Clark Kent stigmatism is in play.
**Plus, wonder what kind of headlines were hitting newsstands a few episodes later after Kunio’s replaced by a woman. “Jason Jefferson --Transsexual?!”
-Main Street Man: “But seriously...rangers..we feel we owe you more than just a backstage pass and a video.. We'll find a way to repay you all soon.."
*No they won’t. We’ll see these guys one more time, briefly, and it won’t make the slightest bit of sense
-Narration: The two groups, including Alex, all laugh and joke around as the Scanrangers were about to complete their 15 minutes of fame, which lasted for two weeks before going to school. In the process, they gained two allies in the form of the MSM, and the mysterious 'Peter'..
*They gained new allies, one in the form of a band who’ll never do anything for the team, and the other in Peter, who, um…was already helping them as he proved last episode.
-Preview: Only the mysterious 'Peter' can stop this newest threat! What is his techinque to defeat this voodoo-based monster?
*Uh, Christianity?
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish. |
Edited by - hk6909 on 08/12/2009 08:17:07 AM |
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hk6909
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
651 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2009 : 2:19:10 PM
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Episode 28-And Voodoo to You Too
Summary: Blackorg decides he needs to get tough and creates a monster with voodoo powers to rid himself of the Scanrangers. They seem overwhelmed until Peter shows them which faith is the right one.
Monster: KuroHoungan
URL: http://www.geocities.com/tetsuokurata/epi28.html
Rating: JJ
Rants-
-Narration: Vin was practicing his aikido moves at the gym, Nick, Mikey and B.C. was watching an anime movie, and Toni was at the gym working out.
*So Vin and Toni were both at the gym.
-Narration: Professor Alex was doing research on the internet, in a rare occasion, killing time.
*I know Alex probably has work to do even when the rangers don’t, but it takes MAYHEM forever to do anything. You’re telling me she never has time to kill?
-Narration: Meanwhile, up in Nebultopia, we see a completely furious Blackorg, venting his anger towards his three MAYHEM captains. The dark overlord envelopes them in his deadly plasma blast. They all felt the excruiciating pain, with Anark Key, Vixen, and Ug screaming from the top of their lungs!
*And considering it’s been ages since the last attack, can even Blackorg still be mad and disciplining his useless underlings?
-Blackorg: “FOOLS! EVEN WITH THE EXTRA POWER I GIVE YOU, YOU STILL CANNOT ELIMINATE A BAND OF CHILDREN! I CAN EASILY DESTROY YOU ALL IF I WILL IT!"
*And you could easily destroy the Scanrangers too if you could be bothered to get off the throne, which you’ve proven.
-Blackorg: “And Ug, shall I send you back to what you call the Cro-Magnon period and have those dinosaurs rend you limb from limb?”
*You’ve been getting too many history lessons from bad caveman movies if you think there were still dinosaurs in the Cro-Magnon era. I’ve known this was wrong since kindergarten.
-Blackorg: “Very well, for this time, I shall take matters into my own hands.."
Narration: Blackorg scans the globe, and focuses on a small island off the Atlantic, namely Haiti, then west towards New Orleans, Louisiana.
Blackorg: “Fascinating.." said the evil MAYHEM overlord. "There are humans who ultilize magic in order to control others..Since I have yet to use a magical-based monster on the Scanrangers, it is high time that I involve myself to destroy these movie-based humans.."
*Why is he scanning them if he already knows about the places associated with voodoo? And what the hell are “movie-based humans”???
-Blackorg: “Ah, PinkScanner..You shall be the first I shall study and investigate. My disguise should be enough to elude detection.”
Narration: He transforms into a human with shades, black hair, a leather jacket with a similar resemblence to the body he consumed: Damien Borg.
*Yes it probably does have a similar resemblance, since those words are redundant. I’m sure I don’t need to say this but biker-type guys tend to stand out. They don’t stand out as much as alien monsters, but if I saw someone with dark glasses, hair and jacket I’d zero in on them out of pure instinct unless we were at Mardi Gras.
-Narration/Blackorg: Under his shades, with his nonexistent eyes, he mindscans her. "And now, PinkScanner..soon your greatest desires, and your greatest weaknesses shall be mine!"
*Look, if his eyes are nonexistent, he doesn’t have eyes, now does he?
**And he’s scanning her mind? This greatest desire and weaknesses stuff never comes into play. No, it doesn’t.
-Kunio: “I told you, Nick! I told you that Dragonball Z is much more effective watched subtitled!”
Nick: “But the music, the heavy metal guitar rift, it's not all there! I don't get it! It's all different BGM music! Why?"
B.C.: "Simple explanation..Kids watch this stuff now, don't want to shock their psyches..They have Cartoon Network to watch their version, while we grown adults watch it in all its unedited glory.. To wit: You can't say 'die', 'dead', or 'kill' to the kids of today.. You've got to be sensitive to what they watch in this generation..."
*You can’t mention death to kids but according to this (http://www.geocities.com/tetsuokurata/blackrx.html) running monsters through with swords is okay. And let’s remember Dragonball Z/Sentai/Kamen Rider etc., shows not afraid to be dark and include death, are made for kids…in Japan.
**How is B.C.’s support of censorship the answer to Nick’s disappointment at the music, though (the “m” in BGM stands for music, FYI, and it’s “guitar riff”)? I don’t remember any music in DBZ that mentioned killing and maiming, though it was a long time ago.
**Support of such censorship’s weird to the extreme in Scanranger. It considers itself a “kids show” and condemns the inclusion of death themes, yet is itself willing to let characters be killed from time to time (like in a certain upcoming episode). Not sent to the Vapor Zone, killed.
-Narration: Blackorg completes mindscanning the three rangers. As he teleports, B.C. somewhat felt a prescence.
B.C.: “Not to be funny, but like Bugs once said, Did you ever have the feeling you've being watched?"
*Don’t worry, you’re not. Funny.
-Y’know, if Blackorg’s “allowed” to sneak into the Scanrangers’ rooms and spy on them to get what he needs, it seems to me Vince is toeing the line of “why can’t they zap in in the middle of the night and smother the rangers with a pillow?”
-Narration: Finally, Blackorg heads to the gym. He finishes the scanning, taking advantage of Vin as he rests up after finishing his kata.
*Once again, Vin and Toni were both at the gym. Blackorg couldn’t do them at the same time? Or were they at different gyms? What?
-Blackorg: “Now, with the stolen bodies injected with the Metalbonic Virus, I can ultilize the black magic of what you earthlings call-Voodoo, and combine it with our MAYHEM technology, thus creating the ultimate cybercreature!"
*What did he steal??
-Narration: Out of the chamber came said cybercreature, dressed in tribunal wear, warrior makeup, somewhat like a witch doctor; Enter: KuroHoungan, for it referred to the name of a head voodoo witch doctor.
*Why is it “somewhat” like a witch doctor if that’s what it’s supposed to be? And how do you confuse “tribunal” with “tribal”?
-Vin: “Congratulations, Mikey! You did it! You did it!"
Kunio: "Did what?"
Vin: "Well, for starters, you passed your summer class..We know it's kind of late and all, but this is an opportunity to let you know that we all pulled for you to make this happen." At the same time, Nick rolled in a cake to begin the celebration.
*They’re celebrating Kunio passing a summer school class even though they’re about to “wrap up another semester”?! “[K]ind of late and all”’s selling it short, Vin!
-Kurohoungan: “Now, with the dolls my lord had given me, I can attack the Scanrangers with ease. Who shall I start with first..maybe the Scanranger leader? Ah! Perfect!"
Narration: The cybercreature saw Nick bringing the cake to Mikey. KuroHoungan then pulls out a voodoo doll of Nick. "Time for our friend to go on a trip! Heh heh heh!" The monster then made the Nick doll slip. At the same time, as Nick himself was about to hand the cake to Mikey, he slips, hitting Mikey with the cake!
*Vin’s still the leader, isn’t he? Yet he’s not even mentioned in these sentences.
-Kurohoungan/Narration: “Ha! The poor kid didn't know what hit him!" said KuroHoungan. at the same time, the mysterious man named Peter walked down the campus. Peter then stopped and looked around. "Weird.. I feel a prescence.. but maybe I'm seeing things.." He then walks away. "Strange, it felt like that human knew what I was up to, but he didn't see me..I must be seeing things.."
*That poor kid, who I’ve been assigned to mercilessly destroy. While walking around Peter gets a vague feeling of Kurohoungan’s presence, but brushes it off. Again, nice portrayal of God, Vince. And Kurohoungan has the same reaction to Peter. Are they supposed to be equals? Because that’s not represented at all when…well, you’ll see.
-Narration: Later, in class, Vin was finishing his anatomy class…
*He was finishing his class, in class.
-Classmate: “Vin, you got a minute?" She was an attractive young woman. "Listen..I need one more guy for our study group tomorrow..Are you available?"
*Will campus authorities break up the study group if it’s smaller than a certain number?
**In any case the monster makes Vin touch the girl’s shoulder which earns him a slap in the face.
-Narration: KuroHoungan plotted his next move to sabotage the other Scanrangers. Meanwhile, Blackorg seemed to be pleased at the mishaps his cybercreature has wrought.
Blackorg: "My plan is working..it is time to exploit these children..then these terran heroes shall be ended..."
*Seemed again…*sigh*
**Blackorg’s running hot and cold, as usual. He’s pleased his “ultimate cybercreature” is using his cybermagic to play juvenile pranks on the rangers yet we can reasonably expect him to blow his stack once things go south. And how he does plain to “exploit” them? He goes straight for ending them.
-B.C.: “Hey, Tone, I don't know if you noticed, but have you realized that most of us had fallen into some type of mishap..you know, sort of like some kind of sabatoogie(Curly's way of saying sabotage).."
*B.C.’s a Curly Howard wannabe. That’s the saddest thing I ever heard. It completely justifies my being the meanest to him, though.
-B.C.: “Let me share something..I was asleep last night, and dreamed I trashed my entire dorm room, only to wake up and saw muddy footprints all over the wall..The strange thing about it was that it was my shoes, and I spray painted the word "BANZAI!!!" on my window.."
Narration: At the same time, another student with a campus cop approached the two rangers. He points to B.C., "That's him, officer! He's the one who spray-painted my dorm wall last night!" B.C. was puzzled.
B.C.: "What in blazes are you talking about? I was asleep in my bed after studying! Tell him, Toni!"
*So did B.C. trash his own room or this other guy’s room? Or was it both, and his own room was still during the monster’s pranking phase? Because only B.C. and whoever he roped into helping him clean up would suffer at his room being messy.
**And how would Toni know he was asleep when it happened? I remember B.C. bearing witness to something he couldn’t actually have born witness to in “Gangsta’s Paradise Lost” to get a friend out trouble with the police. What are you saying, Vince? That real friends lie for each other when confronted by the police? This is probably just a result of poor writing but hell if it doesn’t sound like that’s the message.
-Narration: The officer gave a slow smirk on his face. His name tag read K. HOUNGAN.
*Subtle.
-Narration: As B.C. and Toni entered the police car being driven off, they realized they had passed the campus police office. The car were transported into another dimension.
B.C.: "Hey, officer! This isn't the station! You're going the wrong way!:”
*Not that I know what it’s like to be a professional alien-fighter, but I have a feeling in that situation I’d be more likely to notice we were entering another dimension…
-Kurohoungan: “Yes, I am..created by my master Lord Blackorg..I assure you, this shall be your last battle! You're finished!"
B.C.: "Better watch your P's & Q's..You have no idea who you're messing with, right, Tone?”
*If he was created to destroy you, I’d say he probably does know who he’s messing with, actually. Mess with certainly being an accurate description of what he’s been doing.
-Kurohoungan: “I'm ready for you both! Unfortunately, you have no idea who you're messing with! As long as I have these in my possession, you cannot stop me!" KuroHoungan shows them two Blue and PinkScanner dolls!
B.C.: "So, you plan to destroy us with a couple of action figures that look like us? You're joking, right?"
*The monster looks like a witch doctor, doesn’t it? Doesn’t that suggest what it might be able to do with the dolls? And aren’t they on the team because they know a lot about movies? B.C.’s never seen a movie with a voodoo shaman before?
-Narration: The monster then uses a lighter and lights the bottom of the doll's feet!
B.C.: "YEEOWW! I HATE FIRE! IT'S HOT! HOT! MY FEET'S BURNING! HE'S NOT PLAYING FAIR!
*My feets is on fire? B.C.’s in so much pain his already poor grammar’s deteriorating even further. And do you seriously expect them to play fair after all this time?
-Narration: The shot came from RedScanner as he, Green and Yellow arrive on the battle scene!
*Aren’t they in another dimension? How did the guys find them so fast? If only they’d been able to detect what dimension they were in so fast in “One Shall Stand-One Shall Fall.”
-Toni: “Be careful..that cybercreature has some kind of magic dolls.."
Somebody: "Voodoo dolls? He can only handle two at a time..This way at least if he attacks two of us, the other three can stop him! Let's get him!"
Kurohoungan/Narration: “Wrong again, Scumrangers!" KuroHoungan then evolves with two more pairs of arms, then pulls out dolls of Red, Yellow and Green!
*Let’s loudly telegraph our awareness of the limitation of the monster’s powers so he might become aware and think of ways to circumvent it!
-Nick: “Wait a second! That explains how I accidently hit Mikey with the cake!"
Vin: "And my uncontrollable hands harassing my classmate.."
Toni: "That's it then! That cybercreature must have controlled Blue and I while we were sleeping, forcing us to vandalize the dorm!"
Kurohoungan: "You have all guessed right! But it won't save you!”
*No it really wouldn’t. They’re aware it’s the monster’s fault all those embarrassing things happened to them. So what? That doesn’t provide any information on his abilities they didn’t have after the fight started.
-Narration: KuroHoungan had about to fatally stab the rangers in the heart with a voodoo needle!
*Had about? And is there something special about the needle? I admit my knowledge of voodoo is fragmentary, but I know enough to know real voodoo and movie voodoo are two different things.
-Peter: “Those are my friends you've trapped there! I suggest you release them at once, if you know what's good for you!"
Kurohoungan: "Miserable human! You dare to face the power of darkness? You dare to challenge the power of vodou?"
Peter: "Which according to what I've read, is the typical, Hollywood-based stereotype that you tried to oppress upon my colleagues..And the answer is, yes!"
*Where did Peter read this? Is there a Who’s Who book out on MAYHEM members?
-Peter/Narration: “Who can resist the power of the true almighty God?" Peter replied as he calls up his Inspirational Film Energy. He summons a plague of flies and gnats that ate on the attacking zombies as quickly as they appeared.
Nick: "Whoa..Is this guy a messenger from God?"
Peter: "More than you know, GreenScanner.."
*What the hell does that mean? Does Peter get his power from God or the energy from a glowing space rock? Is there a difference? Because if there isn’t, then Vince is way too freaking in love with his characters.
-Narration: The cybercreature pulls a pair of tarot cards, one a devil, one a reaper, representing death, and one a chariot. The three cards were Kink soldiers in tarot uniforms. They explode and rise in human form, then run to attack Peter.
*He pulls out a pair, which evidently means three.
**By the way, yeah, they’re actually lesser MAYHEM flunkies, not Satan and the Grim Reaper. Did Vince think we might get the idea KuroHoungan could control the actual Devil and Grim Reaper?
**On second thought, forget I said anything.
-In any event, like I said I don’t have an intimate knowledge of voodoo, but what does it have to do with tarot? Is Kurohoungan actually a general pagan magic monster who happens to specialize in voodoo?
-Narration: Peter didn't flinch. He instead raised his hand in the sky, and connecting onto his body was armor, including a helmet, a breastplate, a sword, and a shield. "I CAN do everything through him who gives me strength!" quoting a scripture,…
*Oh great, now he’s adapting Bibleman with the Armor of God. At least he doesn’t goes as far as to ram the chapter and verse down the reader’s throat.
-Narration: Peter then remembers the movie, 'Ben-Hur' and creates a chariot to joust with the other evil chariot, which had a Kink soldier on it. They both race each other as the Kink chariot tried to rip through Peter's chariot with its wheel. Peter throws the shield, knocking the soldier off balance, which then the chariot runs over KuroHoungan. In the process, the Scanranger voodoo dolls are scattered away. KuroHoungan began to feel fear.
*You know, voodoo’s a religion, not just a kind of magic. So by having a character with Christianity-based powers dominate a monster with voodoo-based powers…
-Peter: “Now, I must ask of you..Do you have faith?"
Vin: "I do now! All I had to do is to overcome his tricks!”
*Wait, so Vin has faith (presumably in Peter’s connection to God) because he saw Peter overcome the monster’s tricks? Easily led, isn’t he. Would it be asinine of me to say that makes Peter sound a lot like a real evangelist?
-Narration: The five transport to their individual mecha, and then combine into BlockBuster! They then activate the Cine Vortex, to take the duellists to a soundstage in another dimension.
*…what the hell? Aren’t they in another dimension already? One with no mentioned life to endanger. Did Vince forget about that? Interesting, after how they forewent this in the name of showmanship last episode.
-Kurohoungan: “I forgot to play my trump card, rangers!"
Narration: He pulls out a card representing darkness! He throws the card above BlockBuster, and it envelopes the giant robot into nothing but pitch blackness. At the same time, KuroHoungan attacked from all sides, pounding BlockBuster! The robot threw punches, but couldn't connect!
*In case you don’t know, there’s no card for darkness in a tarot deck. Not among the 22 TRUMP CARDS anyway.
-Peter: “You can do it! RedScanner! What did the almighty say when he created the Earth?"
Vin: "Why are you speaking in riddles at a time like this?! We need for you to put some light on the subject!” Vin pauses for a moment. "Wait! That's it! That's the answer! Thanks, Pete!"
*And another idiotic random comment gives them the idea that saves the day when defeat seems certain. Yech.
**Vin raises a good point, though. Why does Peter talk in riddles? What if none of the rangers know the answer because they’re not Christian? I get mystical mentors ask questions instead of throw out answers because they want to foster growth, but you might want to save that for something a little harder to arrive at than light beats darkness.
**And don’t ever compare these @$$ monkeys to the creator of the universe ever again, okay? Thanks.
-Vin: “Focus, guys! Let's combine our energies! Only one thing that darkness cannot stand..LET THERE BE LIGHT!" shouted Vin.
Narration: At once, BlockBuster glowed with the power of a hundred suns, blinding KuroHoungan, and smashing the card above the robot like glass!
*Vince, restrain yourself. I get you’re proud of your creations (maybe a little too much), but no Sentai is power-of-a-hundred-suns tough. At least not before the uber throw-everything-you’ve-got at-the-bad-guy-because-it’s-the-last-episode ultimate attack. Anyway, Scanrangers win.
-Narration: And up in Nebultopia, Blackorg silently watches his cybercreature go down in defeat, as does his three captains. He clenches his fists, pauses with his nonexistent eyes lighting up in a fury,…
*There it goes with his eyes he doesn’t have again. What does that really mean?
-Blackorg: “This is the third time the same human has interfered with our plans! Who is he? I must know! I must find a way to research this meddling earthling, and then I shall annilhilate him!!!"
*Just wait and see how Blackorg reacts when he and Peter finally meet.
-Nick: “Yeah, said Nick. "It's certainly good that everthing was resolved after that incident..No hard feelings after that cake incident, huh, Mikey?"
Kunio: "You weren't in control. but then again, when were you? No problem, but you still owe me after that RuPaul caper.."
*Are we sure he’s not talking to Nick, smart guy who’s led the team more than the actual leader, and not idiot loose cannon B.C.?
-Alex: “I just wanted to review the previous battles with MAYHEM involved..If any of you have any concerns or questions before I start, now is the time..
Vin: "Yes, Professor.. What do you know about this 'Peter' guy?"
*Why didn’t he ask the first time they ran into the guy if he thought Alex knew? Why wouldn’t she have told them the first time they mentioned him (because it’s fairly significant information, of course)? And when did any of them find out his name? We found out, but for all my looking I can’t find a single time where the Scanrangers could’ve heard Peter’s name. Maybe it was from Alex after their first encounter, but then why didn’t they ask before now?
*Narration: But the question remains, why did he choose this time to help the movie task force?
*Hope you’re not waiting for a real answer because you’re not gonna get one.
-Narration: While the team pondered that question, not far away, a very tiny ant was crawling on the CPB wall. At first, it looked very harmless, but magnified 300 times it was a homing device from MAYHEM, spying on our heroes.
*Strangely specific magnification factor there, like someone might actually be walking around with an observatory telescope over one shoulder, go “what the hell is that” and look at it magnified 300 times.
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish. |
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hk6909
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
651 Posts |
Posted - 08/20/2009 : 2:50:37 PM
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Episode 29-If I Die, Let It Be With Honor!!
Summary: Peter’s story is told just in time for him to be killed.
Monster: None
URL: http://www.geocities.com/tetsuokurata/epi29.html
Rating: JJJ
Rants-
-Well, since this is Scanranger, you can forget about the “honor” part.
-Alex: “Peter was used more for an experiment to see how the Film Energy can be applied internally, and not chosen..”
*What does that mean? I want to say it was supplied somehow so that it reflected his spiritual beliefs instead of his favorite movie genre, but “chosen” implies that usually you get film energy then decide what genre you have power over. When Alex’s husband and the rangers (including the new member they get in a few episodes) got their powers, they weren’t aware of what was happening, making it seem as if the energy subconsciously detected their favorite genre and took it from there.
-Alex: “He decided to try it, because he said he wanted more excitement in his new walk of life..He was an avid churchgoer, the only difference was that he actually practiced what he preached.."
*Wanting more excitement out of life doesn’t sound like the behavior of such an earnest Christian. I’m pretty sure that doing God’s work isn’t necessarily supposed to be fun was even a minor lesson in a Bibleman movie.
-Alex: “Peter used his Film Energy for the first time when he confronted a gang of street toughs. About to be beaten up, he thought about 'Raiders of the Lost Ark': the scene where the Nazis were to open the Ark of the Covenant, they were destroyed by its power. The same happened to the gang who tried to rob him. All that was left was a pile of ashes. Feeling guilty for what he had done, Peter turned himself in to the police, yet the officers thought he was insane.."
*Can you blame them? I’m presuming this was before an alien army had monsters marching down the streets. Are there a lot of comic book-style heroes and villains in this world? There’s more than the Scanrangers, but how widespread are they?
-Alex: “By the time Peter recovered, he thanked us, but he wanted to get on with his own life helping those in spiritual need. We respected that, and he used his power to help inspire others, not to fight..”
*He used his powers to help people in spiritual need. Okay, how? I mean, if this guy’s supposed to be a sympathetic character, we wouldn’t want him to be cheapening others’ spiritual journey by using movie powers, would we?
-Alex: “Now that he has returned, we are curious of why did he help the Scanrangers..Is he on a mission from God, or is there another ulterior motive?"
Nick: “And why would he want to help us at this point of time?”
*Good questions.
-Narration/Peter: The answer came ahead as Peter, on campus, replies, "The prescence of evil..Ever since the experiment, the spirit has told me to make every effort to rid this campus of the danger to come.."
*You call that an answer to those questions? It answers why he’s doing this, sure, but everything we just heard happened before the story began, yet he didn’t start answering the spirit’s call to action until we were 26 episodes in. Years worth of story time. Real faithful there, Pete. If he was doing things behind the scenes, could we be told that?
-Peter’s Brother: “What's wrong, Pete?"
Peter: "It's okay..I know that there's a spiritual war brewing even as we speak..”
*How is a war okay? What are we talking about, anyway? Trying to give the rangers’ fight with MAYHEM religious significance? That’s all kinds of retarded and pompous.
-Peter: “S.J. had talked to me personally to serve full-time in the ministry, and it requires me to transfer to another school.”
*Who the hell is S.J.?
-Narration: Back at CJU, Carmen was on her way to class. She was stopped by Professor Fox(aka Vixen, since Carmen was unaware of her dual identity).
*Back on campus? Didn’t we already switch back to campus in Peter’s scene? And hey, Vince actually avoided an opportunity to make the villains look pathetic by keeping Vixen’s secret intact from someone who’s not even a threat to her. Nice one.
-Vixen: “How are things, Carmen? I'm just a little concerned about your psychology grades..Is everything okay?"
*Is that what Vixen teaches?
-Carmen: “I'm sorry, Professor Fox.. I haven't been feeling well..see, and I've been going through some personal problems.."
*Are we supposed to know about that? Last time we saw Carmen she was all hunky dory.
-Vixen: “You know that you're that you're behind on one term paper.."
Carmen: "I'll make them up! You know i'll take extra credit..I'll finish them by next week..I swear!"
*Are there students who are behind on a couple term papers? Carmen sounds like she is.
-Vixen: “Relax, Carmen..It's okay..Don't sweat it..I trust you..I-" The faux professor answered her cell phone. "Professor Fox?" There was a pause. "What? Are you serious? OK, OK! I'll be there right away!" She hangs up. "I'm sorry, Carmen! One of my kids is sick! I need to see them immediately! I must go! Please wait here! My assistant will help schedule another session.." Fox(Vixen) runs out.
*Thanks for reminding us who Professor Fox really is. Again. After calling her a “faux professor” in this very paragraph. What’s with this “another session” stuff? Fox/Vixen spontaneously stopped her in the hall to have their conversation. What’s the session for, anyway, if Fox/Vixen trusts Carmen to make up the work?
-Blackorg: “I normally would have no need for hostages.." said the evil overlord, now revealing his true form. "..and after mindprobing the one called YellowScanner..I sense he has deep feelings for this human woman..He is certain to attempt to rescue her..Then the Scanrangers shall walk into my trap! Heh heh heh heh heh ha ha ha ha!"
*Fox’s assistant is actually Blackorg who hypnotizes Carmen. While I’m sure it’s true Kunio would come if he found out Carmen was captured by MAYHEM, does Blackorg need her as bait? Would the rangers not come if he just blew up random stuff?
-Narration: At Cape Paramount Base, the team relax after classes, and were chatting amongst themselves. Alex and Dr. Markby watched them.
*So I guess they do go to the base just to hang out. And their superiors watch them while they do it. That’s not weird.
-Narration: At the same time, on one of the buildings, another tiny red ant watched and investigated the CPB crew at work.
*There are multiple buildings in their underground hideout?
-Markby: “What's wrong, Alex?"
Alex: "I don't know..it seems like somehow that we're anticipating something deadly..I just can't put my finger on it, but I believe that something's serious is going to happen to one of our own teammates..."
*An awkward, out of left field question deserves an awkward, out of left field answer. Alex didn’t do anything to betray unease, and she has a gut feeling something’s going to happen to one person. Just one.
-Narration: As Dr.Markby questioned her, she had a flashback of her late husband Roger. She recalled the two of them walking and talking together. "You look too serious, Daph..then again, what else is new?" joked Roger. "What's up, lady?" Alex and Roger was discussing the finalzed plans for Cape Paramount Base's construction. They saw beams being towed and concrete being poured, with the contractors hard at work.
*They’re discussing the finalized plans after work has begun. And they hired contractors to build their SECRET base?
-Alex: “I don't know, Rog..I'm actually anxious about this project..I'm asking myself, will this really work? After all, Takeshi was the only one who passed the test..Considering that there were so many movie fans who applied for this..
*What test are we talking about? Did the team we got have to take it? And once again this project is secret. What they did tell the applicants?
-Alex’s Husband: “It's not like you to be so worried..That's not the Daphne I loved..The woman standing aside me always stayed strong and stoic..At the right moment, she was very sensitive and mature..That's the Daphne I know..unless she disappeared and went into outer space.."
*What a smooth operator.
-Alex: “Back up plan.." continued Roger. "Everthing you do requires a back up plan..It's a strong sign of discipline..."
*Or just plain being in a leadership role. We’re talking fate of the world here, not a freaking football game.
-Alex/Narration: “Sorry, Doctor..I was..preoccupied..Follow me..I know what I need to do..." While Alex and the good doctor discuss future plans,…
*I don’t mean to spoil the story with you (well, yeah, I do), but near as I can tell their “future plans” involve a back up base in case anything happens to the current one. Which they’ll have completely done in what appears to be a couple days. Is Alex just starting work on it now? Sounds like it.
-Narration: While Alex and the good doctor discuss future plans, the emergency siren goes off! Sarita answered swiftly.. "Guys! Look on the IMAX screen! I've got bad news and even worse news!"
*Blackorg sends the Scanrangers a message that unless they come and indulge him in a fight, nasty things will happen to Carmen, and…that’s it. What exactly are the two bits of news? I mean, yeah you could probably say Blackorg picking a fighting and kidnapping Carmen are two different stories, but they sound like one thing to me.
**Incidentally, the story uses “aside” when it means “beside” for the second time in the episode when Blackorg issues his threat. Fear his wrath. Or his bad grammar.
-Kunio: Mikey was livid. "CARMEN! NO! HOW DID THEY ABDUCT HER?”
*I know he’s crazy about her, but let’s get real here. Carmen hasn’t shown herself to be too bright…
-Nick: “Don't go! Somehow MAYHEM found out about our private lives! I believe he's trying to goad us into some kind of trap!"
B.C.: "That's it! I wasn't kidding when I said we were being watched! He must have found out about our strengths and weaknesses!"
*Oh come on, MAYHEM knew who they really were way before last episode. That’s what let Blackorg spy on them in their everyday lives. Don’t act like this is something sudden.
-Vin: “This is certainly out of Blackorg's character to do this..What would he want with Mikey's friend, except to try to mess with our psyches?"
*Sounds like you just answered your own question.
**What exactly’s out of character for Blackorg about this situation, by the way? Vin seems to mean kidnapping someone to force them out in the open, but MAYHEM’s sunk to so many lows just to reach this episode the statement’s so wrong as to be downright ridiculous.
**For examples of messing with their minds, what about the time Friedrick Krieger made Vin relive his girlfriend’s murder, or for that matter Krieger’s creator, one Anark Key, described on the main page as a “psychological terrorist”? Oh yeah, and BLACKORG HIMSELF planted subliminal messages of worthlessness in their minds after he beat them before.
-Narration: Moments later, the team minus Mikey arrive, and search for him…Mikey then appeared before the other five.
*When Kunio found out Carmen had been kidnapped he ran out to save her himself, but as soon as he left the base he thought better of it and waited for his friends to get there, evidently. I’m serious, Vince brought up this plot point like it was a big deal then immediately abandoned it.
-Narration: Before Mikey could regain his composure, a group of Kinks surrounded Carmen.
Takeshi: "Suggestions for a battle plan, Vin?"
Vin: "Just two..rescue the girl, and whomp the kinks out of these Kinks!"
*Did that situation even warrant the asking?
-Takeshi: “GIN HIKARI NO SENSHI!(SILVER WARRIOR OF LIGHT)SILVERSCANNER!"
*The Kinks of course prove no threat and Blackorg shows up, prompting the kids to zap into costume and make their dramatic entrance. Kind of stalls the drama when Takeshi stops to translate his nickname.
-Narration: He blasts an energy beam from his hands, as the rangers dodge the beam.
*He blasts it in the same action in which the rangers dodge it?
-Narration: Pink follows with her "CHARISSE KICK!" kicking the overlord in the face! Silver follows with his "SILVER PUNCH!" knocking the villain for a loop!
*I’m sorry, but in this earthshaking confrontation with the rangers’ ultimate enemy, you’re using terms like “knocking him for a loop”?
-Narration: Shortly, the evil MAYHEM leader attempted to electrify him. Mikey couldn't think of a movie scene to call up to counterattack! He tosses the unconscious Yellow aside, in turn detransforms back to Mikey!
Toni: "MIKEY! MIKEY! GET UP!" cried Pink, trying to wake him.
*This is why they know all your secrets, sweetie.
-Narration: The three run at Blackorg with their prime weapons. Blackorg sees that and blasted them both!
*Vince. “Both” means two, not three.
-Narration: Blackorg swings around, grabbing Vin's arm, about to break it, then takes Red's Swashbuckler, and breaks it in two!
*Why suddenly change his mind about what to break? I know you’ve heard this a million times before but swords don’t kill people, people kill people. And you’ve lost a lot of cybercreatures to this guy and his friends, Blackie.
-Blackorg: “You Scanrangers are resilient, indeed! But since your leader had cut through my body shell, my energy is very deadly and very potent! Observe!" Blackorg explodes for about a hundred yards, and when the smoke clears, the evil enigmatic being is the only one left standing, and every Scanranger was all in civilian form, either injured or out cold!
*What does that mean? That he’s like Robin Mask or something, and his armor is actually for his opponents’ protection instead of his own? Allow me to explain. Robin Mask was a knight-like character from an anime called Kinnikuman. If he took off his armor, however, he unleashed his true power, as Blackorg seems to do here. The difference is Robin was a professional athlete and, at worst, a morally gray character. Blackorg wants to take over the planet and strip mine it of anything of value. Why would he hold back his true power?
-Blackorg: “ONCE MORE, FIVE SCANRANGERS ATTEMPTED TO FIGHT ME! ONCE AGAIN, THESE FIVE SCANRANGERS PLUS ONE ALL HAVE FALLEN BEFORE MY POWER!"
*His basic counting is as bad as his grammar. Since, you know, Takeshi was there helping the team…
-Peter: “And it my Lord's will to insure your defeat!"
Blackorg: “And what can you, a mere human, can do to me, whereas these Scanrangers can't?"
*With the Scanrangers unable to go on, Peter steps in. Remember what Blackorg said about this “mere human” last episode? (“This is the third time the same human has interfered with our plans! Who is he? I must know! I must find a way to research this meddling earthling, and then I shall annilhilate him!!!") Why the sudden change in attitude, especially after Peter all but beat KuroHoungan, “the ultimate cybercreature,” by himself?
-Blackorg: “Your God's will, you say? Your God is nothing! The only god's will you shall be doing will be mine!!"
*Credit where it’s due, here getting the capitalization right on the permutations of “god”.
-Narration: Using a scene from 'The Ten Commandments', Peter calls up a cloud of darkness, based on one of the plagues upon Egypt. Blackorg couldn't see a thing, but he disperses the clouds with his staff.
*Great almighty power there if Blackorg can dispel its effects by waving his staff around.
-Narration: Peter follows by exposing Blackorg's skin and called up the 'plague of boils'!
Blackorg: "What is this effrontery? What are all these boils on my body?"
Peter: "The power of imagination!"
*No it isn’t the power of imagination! Film energy works by stealing whole cloth from movies and TV shows! You guys aren’t imagining anything that wasn’t put there by somebody else! Especially not you Mr. Emmanuel, whose material stretches back thousands of years.
-Narration: Peter dodges and in a bold move, slices Blackorg's staff in two! He follows up with an upper cut with his shield.
*Uppercut is one word.
-Narration: The inspirational powered Scanranger ally let the enigmatic being have it,…
*Such weird designations. Why not use their names? It’s why we have them.
-Narration: For once, the enigmatic being never felt humiliation than ever before, and was almost on the brink of death!
*He what?!
-Takeshi: “PETER! LET ME HELP!”
Peter: “No! No! Get out of here! GO!!” With the turned head, Blackorg had an opening, and grabbed Peter's face!
Blackorg: “Fool! You dare to turn your back in battle! Such a fatal mistake!” The next thing Peter saw was nothing but a blast of light that consumed his body. The brunt of Blackorg’s Oblivion Beam that Peter felt through his chest resulted his heart slowly beating, and he collapses on the ground, his armor disappearing.
*The title is “If I Die, Let It Be With Honor,” but Peter in fact dies thanks to Scanranger stupidity. Just when I was starting like them, too.
-Narration: With his final bit of Film Energy, he uses his ultimate move, becoming one with ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’… “POWER OF THE COVENANTTTT!” At once, another blast of light enveloped the overlord, and Peter covered his eyes despite the pain.
*Wouldn’t it probably be more painful to have his eyes open during this?
-Peter: “No, Vin..please..I appreciate all that you’re done..MAYHEM has been crippled..”
*This is another instance where having the characters be familiar with the shows comes back to bite Scanranger. Maybe Peter isn’t a tokusatsu fan, but wouldn’t the Scanrangers know when the main villain supposedly dies and it’s not at the end of an apocalyptic scenario (and by apocalyptic I don’t just mean they lost a fight and got a new robot), they’re either replaced by someone even worse, or aren’t really dead and come back more powerful than ever? Incidentally, Vince does both, so even when he does something right he overdoes it.
**There’s been the occasional misstep like how DolbyScreener was made available, but that smacks more of the writer realizing he forgot to work it in earlier than trying to buck convention.
-Takeshi: “You didn’t have to do this! “Why?”
Peter: Peter was coughing blood. “Because..because God made it clear..He chose me to use my talents and help the purpose of stopping evil..Now..the power must be extended..I gave all of you enough power to continue the fight..”
*The power must be extended? Is he giving it to them? Because his film energy passes to his brother for some reason.
-Peter: “The battle continues..I am honored to fight by your side for these brief moments..I ask of all of you..Keep the ..keep the faith!”
*Because obviously you’re all fighting MAYHEM because of your religious beliefs too.
-Narration: Peter breathes his last, his hand loosening from Vin’s grip, His head slouches to the side. Nick, angry, crossed his arms in anger..Toni wept on B.C.’s shoulder, and Mikey bowed his head, with a tear going down his cheek. The loss of a hero overtook the final demise of the evil overlord.
*The world of fiction lost one of its most complex, well-loved characters today.
**To make this even more grating, as I said we’ll soon find out he died for nothing.
-Narration: Two days later at Leewood Meadow Cemetery, the minister read Peter Emmanuel’s obituary. The very somber rangers, including some of the CPB crew, all were there to give their condolences at the funeral. Even Danger Woman and the Phantom Highlander came to pay his respects.
*Peter’s being put in the ground two days after his death? Unless he knew he wouldn’t survive the battle and got things moving beforehand, that just seems kind of quick. Especially in a town where monsters from outer space are constantly on the attack, you’d think there’d be long lines at Leewood Park’s funeral homes.
**Is Peter’s family or any of his friends there? You’d think at least a couple of the people he’d been giving spiritual instruction would want to say goodbye to him. After all, this sounds like an actual formal funeral, not one of those impromptu ones you see in Sentai sometimes where the team buries the guy on a cliff top with a cross made from branches to mark the grave.
-Narration/Danger Woman: The two approached Takeshi. “We’ve both came to give our condolences for your friend..” said DM.
*What was Danger Mouse doing there? I kid, I know he means Danger Woman, but letting a typo like that in distracts from the pathos of Peter’s demise (more on that below), don’t ya think? And if such a great guy died, have enough respect to use proper grammar.
-Narration: DM was about to console Takeshi, but he turned away. She sensed he was still hurt over Peter's death.
*I hope Takeshi’s hurt over Peter’s death, seeing as it’s every bit his fault.
-Phantom Highlander: “Don't worry..lady.. I believe he and the rest of the team need some time for themselves. They'll be back in the swing of things in time.."
*Even though the rangers just suffered a dispiriting loss and some of them have lasting injuries, I notice the guest heroes don’t stick around to help until they get back on their feet. Come on, this is a superhero team, not the A/V club. Like it or not lives depend on these people.
-Narration: The famed Scanranger allies see the six team members and Alex leave the cemetery. As the last car drove away from the burial grounds,it began to rain. The sky was about to get dark, and up above, a reflection of Peter was brightening up in the sky.
*Now this a huge blunder if ever I’ve seen one. Let’s get something straight: Peter must have been intended as a character like the Dimensians from Jetman or Komutan from Megaranger. Which is to say a beloved friend/ally of the heroes who dies to demonstrate the horrors of war. The thing is, he wasn’t. We didn’t even hear Peter’s story until right before he died, and the reason he got killed was because Takeshi had to be a world-class idiot.
**The reason it’s saddening when these characters die is because we’re given a reason to care. Usually they form a bond with one of the main characters that brings out a side of the main character rarely seen, but that’s just one example. Vince apparently thought Peter was fine without a personality or significant interactions with the Scanrangers. He did nothing to make a lasting impact except unlocking DolbyScreener way after it should’ve been available already. And once again, his death is entirely the fault of one of the main heroes. That’s why his tear-jerking sendoff and image appearing in the sky fall totally flat.
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish. |
Edited by - hk6909 on 08/21/2009 08:23:47 AM |
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Movie Task Force Scanger 24-29
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