Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Posted - 08/26/2009 : 07:50:31 AM
| Episode 30-Assault On Cape Paramount Base! Part 1
Summary: With the Scanrangers depleted from their battle with Blackorg, a new villain leads an all-out attack on Scanrangers’ easily located secret base. The base falls, but a new hero will rise…
Monster: KuroSlasher for a little bit
-Narration: It was a somber time on campus, after the events of the previous episode. Takeshi. however, was taking it really hard a few days after the funeral. He felt he was to blame for Peter's death after he wanted to help defeat Blackorg.
*And well he should.
-Narration: Suddenly, the pain from the battle in Takeshi's chest began to worsen, and suddenly, he collapsed. One of his students found Takeshi unconscious, and immediately called 911.
*They didn’t get checked out after a beating like Blackorg gave them?
-Key: "They will pay for their lives, indeed, but it is up to us to find a way to smash them once and for all time! But how? Our mighty leader is dead!"
*And that’s a bad thing? MAYHEM’s all worked up over Blackorg’s apparent demise. All he did was get in the way and chew them out for not beating the Scanrangers, which he could’ve done at any time but never did in the interests of letting Vince write a story. They should’ve been plotting to get rid of him all along.
-Blackorg/Narration: “..AND I LIVE!!!" said a newly reconstucted Blackorg with new, dark, powerful armor, flowing with dark energy through his veins.
Ug/Narration: "Lord Blackorg! Thank the Dark Ones you're all right!" said Ug. "But how were you able to survive?" He, Vixen, and Key bowed to their master.
Blackorg: "The human called Peter Emmanuel destroyed my battle shell..He almost destroyed me..Yet, at the last possible moment I was able to teleport back to Nebultopia unannounced. Yet, it shall take time to heal, then I shall wreak havoc on the Earth and claim it for our own!"
*Blackorg lives. He’s going to be sidelining for a while until he recovers from his fight with Peter. Wouldn’t it be more dramatic for him to debut in new armor once that’s over?
**By the way, it’s been days since Peter’s funeral which was days after his last stand. Blackorg makes it sound like this happens right afterward.
-Blackorg: “With this new discovery, as my heals wound,…”
*As your what WHAT?!
-Narration: Out of nowhere, a voice whispered, "...ree me!"
Blackorg: "It is like the human form was trying to emerge..somehow that human attempted to break through my subconsiousness.."
Narration: "..ee me! Yo..can't! Free me!" said the voice again. Blackorg then shut the thoughts of the voice down, never to be heard for awhile. Yet, the voice once belonged to one who possessed a human body. Who was the voice?
*Could it be the guy he possessed, which we know about if we read “Debut of the Demolisher”? Don’t make this out like it’s a secret.
-Narration: “Well, B.C.," said Dr. Brolin, an assistant to Dr. Markby
*Dr. Brolin? As in James? Give me a break already.
-Dr. Brolin: “It looks like after the fight, Takeshi almost used all of his energy within that last punch. Aside from that, I'm still going to have to do more tests on him. He's certainly not in the position to fight at this time..Even then, I wouldn't advise it.”
*What punch? I don’t remember Takeshi using a super-charged punch in the last fight. And even when, you wouldn’t advise what?
-Narration: In the other room, Carmen wakes up, and realizes this isn't the St.Peter's Medical Center. "Where am I?" she said, with a bandage on her left arm after being abducted by Blackorg.
*Carmen’s only coming to now? “[A] few days after the funeral,” which was itself a few days after the battle with Blackorg? That’s a long time for somebody to be unconscious when she’s in a place where the staff probably want her to recover. Okay, she fell into that stupor when Blackorg used his hypnosis on her, but Project Paramount can immunize people against hypnotic powers as strong as his (Scanranger vs. Jetman), they have no ability to break the effects of those same powers? What have they been treating Carmen for all the days she’s been convalescing? Have they been treating her, period? Or, most likely, has Vince forgotten how long it’s been since the last episode again?
-B.C.: “Takeshi's hurt, but don't forget, Vin has a sprained arm..It was good it wasn't broken.. We gonna need his leadership..”
*Hah! Vince, I mean this in the gentlest way possible, but do you actually know what leadership involves? Because I’m gonna say this once and for all: “rescue the girl, and whomp the kinks out of these Kinks!” doesn’t count. The idea to use hologram decoys last episode was Nick’s idea. Let Vin come up with some plans, show him keeping the team under control in a tense situation, something. Until you do, don’t get all swoony about what an awesome leader he is.
-Dr. Brolin, I guess: Dr. Markby and Professor Alex are back on campus..She's trying to focus her energies on the other classes, since it's getting closer to the end of the semester.."
*Does Alex teach multiple classes? And doesn’t it occur to her that the remnants of MAYHEM might decide to attack while the rangers are also weekend, meaning she should probably focus more energy on her other job? Admittedly, MAYHEM actually seizing a strategic opportunity isn’t like them.
-Narration: The robot bugs that were spying through the base began to make its move. One was located near the IMAX briefing room, one was situated in the main security area, and one was located near the secret hangar where the Scanranger mecha was stored, although they couldn't see the actual robots.
Key: “The insectroids are in position, TriloByte..”
*That’s nice, now tell us why it matters where the spy bugs are. And which robots can’t see which robots? I presume the spy bugs can’t see Scanranger’s battle robots, as the latter are inanimate vehicles, but why can’t they be seen? What I really want to know is if they’ve infiltrated the area where the mecha’s kept, why doesn’t MAYHEM start their attack there? Think about how much of the rangers’ power is tied up in those robots and how screwed they’d be if suddenly they didn’t have them.
-Narration: “Colonel Trilobyte was a very confident and demanding figure. He had battle armor simliar to Blackorg's, but his had an insect motif to his.
*Which might create an image if Blackorg had ever been given a description.
-Trilobyte: "We shall descend the base..In another hour, we shall wreak havoc on the human headquarters of the Scanrangers..I also see that two of the strongest Scanranger warriors are also out of commission..”
*So I guess Vince did learn the difference between “ascend” and “descend.” That’s great. What the heck does “human headquarters of the Scanrangers” mean?
-Narration: Meanwhile, Vin and Takeshi were about to be transferred to another hospital.
*If actual team members are going to be taken to another hospital, why wasn’t Carmen dropped off at one? What exactly was their plan for her?
-Rosewood: “Sorry, Vin..Doctor's orders...You need a few hours until we go through some more tests..Then you can join the others..."
*More tests? Are they sending him to a real hospital or aren’t they?
-Vin: “I want a second opinion! Can't I at least get back to class?”
*Is this saying Vin’s getting a medical diagnosis from a campus cop? Because that’s what Rosewood is, not a doctor.
-Rosewood: “If MAYHEM attacked, and Blackorg began terrorizing the city in your condition..he's liable to do more serious damage besides your arm!"
*I was under the impression they thought Blackorg was dead.
-Vin: “Hurry up, then!" Vin showed a rare form of impatience. He really couldn't tell there was danger on the horizon, but he was anxious to get out of sick bay.
*So…yeah. Nice leader, right when they were saying how much they’ll need his stabilizing presence to get through this.
-Narration: Carmen was still in her room, trying to find a way out of the room. A custodian came in to take care of the linen sheets and straighten out the room. While the lady straightened out the beds, Carmen jumped into the bin. The CPB custodian felt a little bit of heaviness in her cart. "The sheets really must be heavy..No matter..." She went to the laundry bin, and then unloaded the cart. The lady heard Carmen screamed going down the chute.
*Nice. Oh my, the laundry cart’s about a hundred ten pounds heavier than usual. I’m sure it’s nothing. I heard a young lady screaming as I dumped the sheets down the chute. Oh well, it’s none of my business.
-Sarita: "EMERGENCY RED ALERT! RED ALERT! ENEMY MISSILE APPROACHING! ALL CPB PERSONNEL TAKE COVER UNDER FILM SHELTERS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! REPEAT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"
*Film shelters? FILM SHELTERS?? And if people need to get to safety in such a hurry maybe we ought to cut the warning a bit shorter?
-Narration: Various crew members scattered through the emergency exits.
*So they’re not even listening to what the warning broadcast tells them to do. Nice discipline there.
-Narration: The others ran to prepare to defend the base.
*Are we talking about guards, or anybody who’d rather stand and fight?
-Narration: A tractor teleportation beam ascended from what came out of the rolling clouds-Nebultopia!
*Ascended…and I really thought he’d got it figured out. Which kind of beam is it anyway? As far as I’m aware a tractor beam is one that grabs things and pulls them closer, not one that transports your guys down somewhere.
-Narration: At once, a flash of light from the teleportation beam blinded the soldiers, and at once, an army of Kinks attack!
*Too many at’s and once’s there, Vinny.
-Narration: The only difference, their power were augmented by TriloByte's newest formula, which made them taller and stronger than the normal foot soldiers. The CPB guards aimed and fired, but the lasers bounced off them.
*Vin noticed the Kinks seemed a little stronger last episode, is this new development the reason for that? Otherwise, it’s kinda soon for the Kinks to be powered up again. And is this a regular thing, or a one-off boost for this particular master plan?
-Narration: Another Kink pair took another guard by the hand, strangling him until he couldn't breathe any longer!
*You can strangle someone by grabbing their hands. You learn something new every day.
-Narration/Nick: “Nick, Toni, and B.C. saw everything on the console. "What the blazes? We are under attack! How did MAYHEM infiltrate our defenses?”
*A valid question, if your ability to maintain secrecy hadn’t been called so sharply into question lately.
-B.C.: “Where's Mikey?"
*Yeah, where is he? Come to think of it, where are Vin and Takeshi, who are in no shape to fight? If MAYHEM’s got the sense to attack them while they’re reeling from the fight with Blackorg, and has infiltrated their base, maybe MAYHEM knows Vin and Takeshi are especially banged up and will make it a priority to get rid of them. Especially if they’re really two of the most powerful Scanrangers (and being the red guy and the sixth guy, they almost certainly are).
-Kunio: “Nick! Toni! B.C.! ANYONE! Come in! Professor! No good! I can't get through anyone! I can't even teleport! I could still transform, but something's really wrong, and..”
*Let me get this straight, he knows he can’t call anyone or teleport, but he knows he can still transform. Without having turned into YellowScanner. Or did he transform, just to make sure, then change back? After Sarita sent that red alert?
-Narration/Kunio: Kunio then sees the base smoking! "Kore wa? That's...It can't be! MAYHEM's attacking! They really must be ticked about us defeating their master!"
*Please explain to me how he’s ignorant of this, Vince. Remember, like I just said, that a red alert’s been called. How is he unaware of that?
-Narration: Mikey ran down the stairs, remembering it was a short cut to the IMAX briefing room, where he could rendezvous with the other Scanrangers.
*If he can’t call anybody, how would they know to meet him in the briefing room? Maybe that’s protocol for them to do so if there’s an alert, but number one I don’t see why it’s my job to fill in plot holes and number two doesn’t it make more sense for the rangers to bolster the base’s defenders?
-Narration/Kunio: He abruptly bumped into someone, and both of them fell on the ground! When Mikey caught his breath, he saw someone he never expected. "It's you!"
Mikey, getting his thoughts back, couldn't believe it. "Carmen! What the heck are you doing down here?"
*Nice cliffhanger. That might have worked better if there was more of an interruption than the words “Act Two.” Maybe some fake commercials for the BlockBuster toy robot or how you can become a member of the Scanranger fan club or some such. Nope, instead it’s just “surprise! Predictable resolution.”
Kunio: “Jason? I'm Mikey! You know, your fellow art classmate back on campus!"
*You know, your nerdy stalker who belittles what you like but acts like you’ve got a reason to pay attention to him anyway.
-Narration/Carmen: Carmen's enthusiasm then diminished. "Oh, you.." It just seemed that you favor my favorite Main Street Man so much.."
*He favors her favorite Main Street Man? He likes her favorite Main Street Man too? Likes, not looks like?
-Kunio: “You know, Carmen, all I wanted was just a little respect from you! From day one, you just treated me like gum at the bottom of a shoe!" Mikey then grabbed her arm. "But since we're in trouble and under attack, I will be merciful! We're being attacked, and I can show you the way out! Now, come on, let's go!"
*Not even going to get into what a bad time this is. There’s a difference between respect and common courtesy. Respect is earned, and one of Kunio’s best friends is B.C. Shimamura. ‘Nuff said. Besides, a little respect isn’t all he wanted from her.
**True Carmen could’ve been less of a stuck-up bitch, but how are people’s manners supposed to be when they’re running around like a maniac trying to collect all the resources they need to get ready for finals before said resources are gone? That’s when we met her, remember, and as far as I can tell nobody at CJU sees college as a bar with a $20,000 cover charge. Those books must’ve been disappearing like nobody’s business. Besides, it’s not like Kunio ever did much to initiate contact. The only time he ever tried to say hi on camera was when he asked if she noticed the resemblance between him and her favorite Main Street Man, and that was when he brushed off her favorite band with a “big deal.” Don’t expect any courtesy if you’re not gonna show any. Also, that same episode had Kunio gushing about how he was going to get to be close to Carmen because he was impersonating said favorite Main Street Man, and it’s hard not to see that as at least a little sleazy of him.
**It hardly reflects well on Kunio how he kept chasing after a woman who didn’t pay attention to him. Can you say “stalker,” kids? Or maybe just “loser.” I’ve lusted after a lot of girls I never got anywhere with, but at least I could tell when she just wasn’t into me. Kunio’s unyielding pursuit of Carmen didn’t make him look determined, it made him look like a pathetic little geek unable to either recognize or accept he’s out of his league. Not to mention implicative of him falling for the wrong kinds of women.
**But think about the line “But since we're in trouble and under attack, I will be merciful!” Kunio almost sounds as if he was about to abandon Carmen when he changed his mind. This goes way back to “Kunio’s Excellent Adventure in Babysitting” where one thing I ranted about was the seeming implication that people related to/friends with the Scanrangers are more important than everyone else. They’re not. The Scanrangers have every right to be more concerned about those people, but their job is to protect everyone from MAYHEM, including people they don’t like and who don’t like them. Like hot girls who won’t date them. Grow up, Mikey.
-Kunio: “VIXEN!" said Mikey. "Why? Why now?"
*Because her team’s hitting your team with everything they’ve got while you’re too weak to put up a proper defense?
-Kunio: “Leave her alone! It's me you want! Let her be!”
*Why is Carmen here, in the base, now, Mikey? Because MAYHEM kidnapped her to get a reaction out of you specifically. Don’t bother.
-Carmen/Narration: “He's only a big dumb jock under that demon mask..In fact, he looks like that defensive tackle on the football team!" Carmen ran after Ug, but not knowing his strength, he swatted Carmen-hard! She hit the wall, barely conscious.
*Why would she think this? She recognizes YellowScanner when Kunio transforms in a bit, that would indicate some degree of familiarity with their exploits.
**Or could it be that she thinks the Scanranger battles have all been publicity stunts for the Main Street Men, and is just now learning it’s all for real? That could be an interesting angle, if the author were the one presenting it.
-Kunio: “If I know Vixen, merciless as she is, she'll murder Carmen anyway!”
*Yeah, like when she kidnapped the Main Street Men, she was so merciless she let them go without a scratch on them.
-Narration: He looks up as Vixen began the countdown, then grabbed a convienient rock and threw it above him, hitting the lights, shattering it.
*There’s just one light where they are? Not even emergency floodlights, with the main power down?
-Kunio: “I've got no choice..I don't want to let Carmen know, but now, I must protect her! Kunio prepares himself and poses. "LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! YELLOWSCANNER!" He transforms in front of his stunned classmate.
*Once again, once again, the two villains trying to kill you know you’re a Scanranger, isn’t it a late to worry about what might happen if the snooty girl who won’t date you does?
**And how does Carmen (and possibly the other three) see anything for the rest of the episode? Kunio knocked out the lights.
-Carmen: “I can't believe it! Kunio is YellowScanner! He's one of the Scanrangers!’
*Finally realizing he looks like your favorite Main Street Man without a goatee, huh, sweetie? Your mother and I are so proud.
-Narration: Mikey relentlessly slashed the general before he raised his FilmBlade for the finishing blow. However, Ug stops him with his battle axe! Ug aimed his axe at Yellow's chest, and blasted him at close range about twenty feet! The strike detransformed Yellow back to Mikey.
Vixen: "Use your other powers, Ug!" said Vixen, getting up after being hit.
*What’s she so frantic about? They just slammed the only Scanranger around so hard his powers switched off.
-Vixen: "Think of a war machine or something!",
Ug/Narration: “Tanks.." said Ug, which he meant to say 'thanks', but a mini cannon materialized before him, and blasted the ceiling. When Ug fired, it hit a steel beam, and then it fell. Mikey didn't have time to react, as the heavy beam fell directly-on top of Mikey's right leg!
*What movie was he thinking of? And why would anyone want to say thanks “Think of a war machine or something!”?
-Narration: Vixen then uses her Dark Seductive Film Energy to get into Mikey’s mind.
Kunio: “YAMERO!!STOP!! GET OUT OF MY MIND!”
Vixen: “Her name is Xenia(the power hungry lady killer from the James Bond movie-Goldeneye), and I want you to know the pleasure will be all hers..and mine! Oh, yes!”
Narration: Mikey, despite his helplessness, was determined to fight her off. Vixen grabbed his chin, about to kiss him and in the process, drain him dry of his Film Energy!
*See what I did there?! Anyway, Vixen’s only use of film energy appears to be this, where she appears as a femme fatale and kisses someone to drain their energy. I admit there would be times where that would be useful, but is when your victim’s already helpless and knows what you’re doing one of them? By the way, the last time I remember Vixen using this power she appeared as her victim’s old girlfriend, so I assume she can telepathically find a person they’d let kiss them. Meaning shouldn’t she be appearing as Carmen, not a James Bond character?
-Narration: For the first time in her life, she felt pity for her classmate, and wanted to fight back, but how? She was hurt herself, and was completely angry at herself for not listening to Mikey.
*For not listening to him about what? Just in general? Like I said, and despite how the story acts, it might be kind of jerky but it’s not a crime not to want to associate with certain people. It might be different if they both, say, worked part time jobs at the same place and had a reason to interact (even then she wouldn’t have to like him), but Kunio and Carmen just run into each other on campus once in a while.
-Narration: Carmen then reminicsed the time how she disrespected Mikey, from the time she took the last text book from Mikey and not thanking him, from the time she continued to ignore his greetings every class, to the insult she made about comparing Jason Jefferson; the lead singer of the Main Street Men superior to him.
*Again, the fault’s more his for pursuing someone who just isn’t interested. By the way, the insult about the Main Street Man’s superiority never happened. During their brief “conversation” she barely acknowledged Kunio’s presence at all, let alone compared him to what’s-his-name.
-Narration: Suddenly, teeming with anger, Carmen went through a radical transformation! Her hair, which was once dark brown, became red, and her body glowed with a powerful burst of energy as she went in a hellish fury.
*Hellish, in a story where “bastion” and “butthead” are the strongest insults we’ve ever heard.
-Narration: Somehow, she thought about Dragonball Z, thought about the mighty Goku, who became a ‘Super Saiyan’ with blonde hair and green eyes. Carmen was glowing with red hair and blue eyes!
*This worries me that someone would instinctively think of an overblown anime when facing mortal peril at the hands of a pair of alien villains. Let alone that I’d be asked to put my life in their hands.
-Narration: In the blink of an eye, Ug looked at her, and the next thing the dimwitted general saw was his own body flying towards the wall, leaving an impression and stuck on the wall.
*Ug saw himself flying through the air, did he. All right then.
-Narration: Ug struggled to open his eyes after the powerful blow, but passed out.
*Vince, isn’t Ug supposed to be the tough guy? How do you explain how he’s supposed to be intimidating when you have him taken out by a single hit in two fights in a row?
-Narration: Vixen then used her sword and lunged at Carmen. She stopped the sword with both hands, then broke the blade!
Vixen: “It’s impossible! How can a mere human, destroy my weapon?”
*A mere human who started glowing when you made her mad. And Blackorg said that about Peter, remember? Look what happened to him.
-Narration: Carmen then punched Vixen in the stomach, slapped her in the face,then used the broken blade, and slashed her in the face, leaving a nasty cut on her cheek!
Vixen: “YOU! YOU! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FACE!?? HOW CAN YOU-”
Carmen/Narration: “WHAT PART OF ‘STOP IT’ DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?” said Carmen, slapping Vixen over to where Ug was still unconscious and stuck to the wall.
Vixen: “Enjoy your comeuppance, human.."
*I understand the “P.” Anyhow, Carmen’s comeuppance? Come again? Having her perfect face marred sounds like Vixen getting her comeuppance. Does she mean the base caving in on them, perhaps? Or maybe that’s another word that has a different definition in Scanranger world.
-Narration: As the bad guys left , Carmen had a brief flashback. In the outskirts of Santo Domingo, D.R. she was sixteen years old, and her boyfriend was playing around, seeing the sites of the mountain. As her boyfriend read her romantic poems, she was sitting on a rock. It glowed briefly, but she wasn’t paying attention at the time.
*She remembers the rock she was sitting on was glowing, but didn’t pay attention at the time. What a fine addition to the team this dunderhead will make.
-Narration: Kunio deducted that somehow, in some way, Carmen herself possessed the power of Film Energy.
*He wrote Carmen’s powers off on his taxes? What’s this “in some way” crap, though? It’s film energy, the same as his. She even takes his place as YellowScanner in the next episode.
-Kunio: “You realize that you briefly possessed the power of the Super Saiyans, aka Dragonball Z?"
*Super Saiyans are a type of character in Dragonball Z, not Dragonball Z itself (admittedly, with how much the other characters usually matter you could make a case otherwise).
-Kunio: “You know there's only one other bad thing about powering up via DBZ.." Carmen: "What's that?"
Kunio: "What I wouldn't do for a senzu bean to help my bones knit and my muscles to heal.." he chuckled.
Caremn: "You're funny, did you know that?"
Kunio: "You have no idea..I'll eventually introduce you to my friend B.C.”
*Compared to B.C.’s schtick, that joke is almost funny. Almost.
-Kunio: “..assuming we find a way back to the base upstairs.."
*She’s finally talking to you, no one’s around, and you’re saying you want to leave?
**Good. Someone on this team has priorities after all.
-Nick: “BLAST IT!" said Nick, fighting off the Kinks with Toni and B.C., the three remaining rangers.
*Thanks for having confidence in your readers’ ability to count, Vince. Geez.
-Nick, I guess: “What can we do? Our defenses are weakening, and even we can't hold off all these super powered Kinks! Profesor Alex is nowhere to be found, Vin and Takeshi are out of action, and Mikey is still missing!"
*And you still sound more worried about not knowing Kunio’s whereabouts than those of your friends physically incapable of protecting themselves.
-Trilobyte: Colonel Trilobyte ordered, "Key! Get your Team Nightmare to begin the next attack wave!"
Key: "Right!" Key replied to Krieger.
*Krieger, in case you’re wondering, is the leader of Team Nightmare. Key was presumably talking to Trilobyte, not him.
-Narration: Like privates, the rest of Team Nightmare reply, "YES SIR!" They shed their synthetic skins, revealing their mechanical forms, and powered by their internal KillerBytes, they enlarge and merge into one giant cybercreature! "NIGHTMARE GATTAI! KUROSLASHER!" they shout.
*After mounting a first offensive with their ground troops, MAYHEM sends giant Kuroslasher in to finish the job. As opposed to the other way around.
-Nick: “We can't wait around for Mikey! We've got to take on that robotic horror show before it does any more damage to the base!"
*Please explain why the base matters anymore if circumstances are allowing MAYHEM to blitz it with everything they have. It could be and probably is so their people still inside have a chance to get out, but it wouldn’t hurt Vince to get in the habit of explaining relevant information.
-Narration: In full uniform, Green piloted Thunder Dolby, while Blue and PinkScanner led BlockBuster.
*Is there any reason at all they wouldn’t have changed to Scanranger form when they were fighting the super-tough Kinks? It sounded like they were still regular old Nick, B.C. and Toni during the fighting in the base.
-Narration: At the same time, the insectdroids countdown was about to end, and the injured Mikey was carried along by Carmen, as they see the exit, about 30 feet away. However, the bombs counted down to 18 seconds!…The countdown continued..7..6..5..4..3..Carmen was about to reach the door..2..1..then…The explosion could be seen for almost 15 to 20 miles!
*The “insectdroids” I presume are the spy bugs spread out all over the base. And they’re actually time bombs. Okay, I get why they were spread out at the beginning of the episode. What I don’t get is why, if MAYHEM had smuggled that much high-powered explosive into the base, they bothered with a full-scale invasion. The robo-bugs didn’t have to be bombs either; the base could’ve collapsed because of Kuroslasher’s attack, putting Kunio, Carmen and everyone else’s survival in doubt without asking questions about efficiency.
**By the way, the author presents a range of distances from which the explosion could be seen. Does that sound wrong to anyone else?
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish.
Edited by - hk6909 on 08/29/2009 07:35:37 AM
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Posted - 08/26/2009 : 07:55:03 AM
| Episode 31-Assault on Cape Paramount Base! Part 2
Summary: Apparently forgetting they were attacking the Scanrangers while the team was weakened, MAYHEM retreats. Which allows Scanranger to come up with a new team member and giant robot by the time the villains remember what they were doing.
Monster: KuroSlasher, resurrected KuroOctopus
-Recap: Previously, MAYHEM suffered a brief loss, seeing the mighty Blackorg fall in battle.
*A brief loss?
-Recap: Meanwhile, Vin and Takeshi was still out of commission from the previous battle, leaving three active Scanrangers,…
*Even though there was nothing wrong with Kunio until halfway through last episode.
-Narration: The impact of the explosion pushed back the three giant robots who were engaged in battle in the previous episode. In the process, KuroSlasher's blade dug deep into BlockBuster's leg, disabling DivaScanner's controls, unable to stand. Dolby was able to throw a punch at the cybercreature.Thunder Dolby THX, BlockBuster, and KuroSlasher were swept away, which enabled the merged cybercreature that was Team Nightmare to take to the air, back to their base, despite the injury.
*According to last episode’s preview, this constitutes the “battle of their lives.” How typical.
**And call me crazy but isn’t it more likely Kuroslasher retreated BECAUSE it was injured, not DESPITE its injury?
-Narration: Realizing that one team member was still MIA, Nick thought, "Good Lord.. "Mikey was still in there!"
*Again he plays up their apprehension about Kunio’s absence. Has everybody else in the organization with a name checked in with the rangers to report their safety? What with the all-out chaos that befell their operation, somehow I doubt it.
-Kunio/Carmen: “HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" B.C. heard the distress call, and ran to it.
B.C.: "It can't be!"
*No, realistically it can’t after an explosion you could see 20 miles away.
-Narration: Later, at a nearby hospital, Mikey wakes up in a bed, and sees Nick, Toni, and B.C.
Nick: “Dude! What the heck happened to you, man? We were trying to contact you for the longest!”
*The longest what?
-Narration: Mikey's right leg was crushed and broken.
*Most of us were there for that, but thanks anyway.
-Kunio: “I set my coordinates for the campus, but for some reason we were still in the vicinity of the base.. The program was still malfunctional after the explosion..”
*Indeed, Kunio’s teleporter wasn’t working, which he knew before he ran into Carmen. I guess he tried to teleport her and himself to safety when the base exploded. I have to ask though, with all of Project Paramount’s technology in flames, is there some reason the malfunctioning aspects of his bracelet would suddenly be better?
-Narration: Mikey described their escape, then gritted his teeth feeling his broken leg.
*Yeah, don’t tell us how they escaped. We’re just the audience.
-B.C.: “I still haven't heard anything from Professor Alex..I hope she didn't get kidnapped by MAYHEM, or worse..dead.."
Toni: "Stop it! She's tougher than that, and you know it! Since she was tending to Vin and Takeshi, chances are she'll be with them!"
*So they don’t know about everyone else. And their first priority was their still-able teammate.
**Maybe Alex is tough, Toni, but is anybody in a Sentai tough enough to survive an explosion you can see 20 miles away? Forgive me for thinking even the almighty Professor Alex might have trouble with that. And she might be with Vin and Takeshi if, wonder of wonders, they didn’t get separated when all hell broke loose back there.
**And this is probably a stupid question, but if the base is in ruins and they haven’t made contact with the survivors of their support crew, what did the rangers do with Thunder Dolby and Blockbuster? I wouldn’t be surprised if they just left the robots where they were when the rangers went sifting through the rubble for their friends, but I would be surprised if MAYHEM wasn’t looking for the rangers to finish what they started and saw their mecha just standing there.
-Kunio: “Before you guys go ahead and get back with the crew..there's a small problem..Carmen knows my identity.."
*How do they plan to “get back with the crew”? I thought there’d been no contact between them and the rest of the project. How do they know they’re not the only ones left?
-Nick/B.C./Toni: “What?" said the three together.
Kunio: "I had no choice...Those two MAYHEM captains were about to kill her! There was no other way to stop it!"
*I agree it was his duty to save her, I definitely said that last episode, but let’s be honest too. The only reason MAYHEM had any interest in Carmen before she displayed her own film energy was her usefulness as a mechanism to get a reaction from Kunio. They really wanted him, the Scanranger, and she was just a way to make sure they’d get him.
-Nick: “Geez, Mikey..You just don't go up and reveal your identity to every person who's in danger like that.”
*You already know my stance on this by now, I’m sure, so I’ll just say that suddenly having the rangers act all defensive about their secret identities really only serves to call attention to how long the story went without caring. Starting, as I remember, with Vin and Kunio disappearing from a jail cell and never doing anything to cover their tracks.
-Kunio, I guess: “Okay then, genius.. What would you have done in this situation?"
B.C., I guess: "Well, uh..you know..like..The thing is...well, the same! Yeah! That's it! The same!"
Toni, I guess: "You're starting to sound like Professor Alex when she started training us.." At that point, Toni looked at B.C. like he was crazy. "Not that anything's wrong with that, in a way..."
*I have no idea what they’re talking about, nor what I should take away from this conversation.
-Narration: The two recovering rangers watch from a remote area the destruction of the base."NO!" cried Vin. "The base's been destroyed!"
*The two recovering rangers?! If he truly felt he had to remind us Vin and Takeshi were still injured from their fight with Blackorg, why not say “Vin and Takeshi, the pain from their fight with Blackorg intensified by the sight of the burning base…” or some such crap?
-Takeshi: “What's that, Vin?" asked Takeshi.
Vin: "Can't you see? MAYHEM's wrecked our headquarters! What are we gonna do now?"
Alex: "I'm fully aware of our plight, Vin.." said Alex, walking to the two.
Vin: "You're gonna let Blackorg and his cronies get away with this? Do you realize he has the upper hand and is-"
*So yeah, big surprise, Alex got Vin and Takeshi out before anything bad happened. You freaking out probably isn’t helping Alex think of what to do, Fearless Leader. Vince does know he’s doing this to his characters, right? And once again, I thought they were under the impression Blackorg was dead.
**By the way, is Takeshi in on Alex’s secret plan? He doesn’t seem so upset to see their base in ruins. That begs the question of why Vin would be the only one in the dark, other than so Alex could dramatically reveal their back-up headquarters next.
-Alex: “Vin! I said I was aware of this..even when Benedict attempted to destroy Cape Paramount months ago..”
*Yeah, how did you set it up so he’d attack a fake base, again?
-Alex: “After the attack, I sent scouts to scan for another site...Dr. Markby and his team did the rest..transferred our files, movie vaults to an undisclosed area..upstate New York..Even as I speak, no one but us know where we exactly are."
*Not even the reader.
-Alex/Narration: “Now, gentlemen, if you would follow me.." said Alex as Takeshi and Vin see a giant machine under construction. The crew welded metallic pieces to what seemed to look like a giant robot.
*That’s the transition. Boom, they’re in the new base.
**And Vince, seriously, quit it with the “seeming” already. They know what a giant robot looks like, and with how soon this thing is ready makes me think it’s probably mostly done.
-Alex: “That's part of the 'StuntMaster Project'..Hopefully, we plan to use it for utility purposes as long as our two major robots aren't in grave danger.."
*That’s part of the project, or that is the project? Seems to be the latter as nothing but the robot seems to be involved. You plan to use a giant robot for “utility purposes”? Huh? Especially confusing since they hardly use Stuntmaster for anything, period.
-Takeshi: “Don't you mean three, Professor?"
Alex: “WideScreener has enough firepower of its own to handle any attack, especially in your J and SuperScreener mode.."
Takeshi: “Ah..I forgot all about that..”
*The battle sequence capping off this very episode puts the lie to that statement. Whoops. Plus Takeshi’s J Mode is him enlarging himself to robot size. He had it before there was any such thing as Widescreener.
**Also, he forgot about its alternate forms? Can’t say anything truly surprises me anymore.
-Alex: “Gentlemen, this is the Catacombs of Mount Columbia..where we also have another auxillary weapons/film library, comprised of at least 10,000 movies-all within your reach to regain your power..”
*If you’re going to call attention to this business about their movie collection, please explain how it works. It’s annoying and confusing if you don’t, Vinny.
-Narration: Up in Nebultopia, Trilobyte and Key gloat at their success in destroying Cape Paramount Base.
*And apparently scoring no casualties except nameless support personnel.
-Narration: Vin and Takeshi arrive at Central Jersey University. They looked around as the other campus students walk to and fro on the college grounds.
Vin or Takeshi: "Okay, if I was the contact for Professor Alex, where would I stand?"
*The rangers are sent back to campus to rendezvous with somebody and exchange envelopes. Alex gave them no indication of who they’re meeting, huh? And they just zapped straight onto campus after getting all concerned for maintaining their secrecy. At least say it was somewhere out of sight.
-Narration: At that moment, someone walked up to the both of them in a menacing fashion.. "Mark Emmanuel.." Vin turned to the approaching student and handed the envelope, Peter's brother.
*The envelope is Peter’s brother?
**Just kidding, Vin hands the envelope TO Peter’s brother Mark, who he’s never met or even heard about
-Vin, I guess: “I wish this was a much better situation to talk to you about..I-"
Mark/Narration: “Hush, please.." said Mark, still mourning over the loss of the Scanranger ally.
*You mean HIS BROTHER?!
-Narration: Mark lain his hands onto the two, and Takeshi's chest wound was no more, as was Vin's broken arm, somehow reconnected to his limbs. Takeshi's almost black and blue mark began to revert to his flesh.
Takeshi: "Kore wa? This is..?" said the silver warrior.
Vin: "Another healing? This is beginning to be habit forming.." said Vin, humbly.
*If Takeshi said Vin’s line, it would make sense (he was healed by Nick in “Man in the Wilderness”) but when’s Vin ever had his wounds magically healed before? Despite saying it “humbly” the actual words sound pretty ungrateful.
-Vin: “You really didn't have to do this..after what we all had been through...Thank you.."
Mark Emmanuel: “You can thank me by just taking care of that delivery..and that we never cross paths again.." With that, Mark turns and walks away, about to depart to another school.
Vin/Takeshi: "Hmmph..I haven't felt a chill like that since Hyoga froze one of the Gold Saints and personally put them on ice(Saint Seiya/Zodiac Knights can only understand this)."
*Says one of the Scanrangers making an insider reference to the super-violent anime Saint Seiya. What a geek, and that’s coming from someone who’s a big geek himself. And can you blame Mark for being short with you? Either you or the guy standing next to you is effectively the one who killed his brother.
**By the way, the thing they got from Mark was the programs to activate their new robot, but why would he have those, and what did they give him? Is a sense of coherence too much to ask for? Am I the only one wondering how I haven’t broken my question mark key reviewing this awful story?
-Narration: They walk in as B.C. was playing with Mikey, still indisposed from the battle. He had a deluxe sized Griforrcer action figure(Goldar to others)battling Mikey's deluxe Gundam DeathScythe.
*They’re all still there, with nobody hassling them about visitor hours? In any case, the Scanrangers are in college and they still play with action figures? And why shouldn’t they? They know it’s okay to be comfortable with who they are.
**Anyhow yes, Kunio probably is still indisposed from the battle. Having a steel beam crush your leg tends to have that effect. Especially when your friends don’t save any miraculous healing for you. Look, I’m willing to accept “things don’t happen that way because they don’t” up to a point, but Vince takes that kind of good will for granted.
-Narration/Vin: Vin notices Carmen, very quiet and withdrawn since the rest of the team consoled Mikey. sitting by the window "So that's Carmen..Mikey's been talking about that girl for about a few months.." He goes over to her to introduce himself. "How are you? You must be Carmen.."
*And you are…? He was supposed to be introducing himself, wasn’t he?
-Vin: “That was a brave thing you did..Kunio told me about how you saved his life..Not to mention how you singlehanded brushed MAYHEM back temporarily..How were you able to do it?”
*He’s been working with film energy so long, how somebody’s able to use it shouldn’t be something Vin wonders anymore. Then again, knowing these morons Kunio didn’t mention Carmen having film energy.
-Carmen: “I..I felt so helpless after being attacked..and I fantasized about having the power of my favorite super hero, wishing I could something..and then..and then Dragonball Z raced through my head.."
Narration: The other rangers pondered what Mikey pondered.."She possesses Film Energy.."
*Oh my lord I was right. He didn’t tell them.
-Carmen: “And who in the blazes is MAYHEM? Some terrorist group?"
*As I pointed last episode Carmen recognized Kunio as YellowScanner once he transformed, indicating she knows something about their exploits. How, it didn’t bother to explain, but gee could MAYHEM possibly be the super villains the Scanrangers trying to keep from taking over the world? If what Carmen knew about the Scanrangers came from the Main Street Men staging mock battles as the rangers, with villains of their own invention, that’d be one thing. If I wasn’t forced to make up plausible explanations for Vince, that is.
-Narration: As Carmen questioned that, Professor Alex entered to answer her question. "You're absolutely right.." She proceeds to introduce herself to Carmen.
Carmen: "I know you..You're a Film teacher at Central Jersey University.."
*Why would you tell us Alex introduced herself to Carmen and leave it at that? You’re including the actual dialogue everywhere else, include that in it!
-Alex: “You possess power beyond what you can imagine..”
*Power beyond what you can imagine…no. The Scanrangers all appear to be Dragonball Z fans (in case you don’t know the average spotlighted character on that show can literally destroy the world. By themselves. It’s downright parodical by the end), and Carmen actually has anime film energy and went Super Saiyajin to fight Vixen and Ug. They can imagine a lot of power, and there’s no way they have anywhere near that much.
-Carmen: “You're kidding, right? How do you expect me to channel this power?"
Alex: "There are..specialists who can help you..five others like you who can fight for the freedom of this Earth.."
*Um, didn’t Carmen use her film energy without even realizing it when she fought off Vixen and Ug?
**And why is Alex being so vague? The people she’s talking about are right there, and Carmen would have to be a complete ninny not to realize they’re who Alex means, particularly with Takeshi promising to get revenge on Vixen.
**Then again, Carmen is a complete ninny.
-Narration: Suddenly, within the far distance, an explosion occured through the outskirts of Leewood Park! The heroes looked out the window, and behold, MAYHEM continued the attack, although the former Scanranger base was history!
Alex: "Guys! You know the drill!"
*So I was right all along; random property damage is all MAYHEM needs to do to get the Scanrangers’ attention.
-Narration: Carmen pondered on what can just those five people can do to stop an alien invasion.
*She wonders what the people who obviously make up the rest of the Scanrangers can do about marauding aliens. Where she’s beyond any realistic point of believing the Scanrangers’ adventures are nothing more than stage magic. Okay then.
-Kunio: “Listen! Don't blame yourself for myself getting hurt! I was just doing mt duty, if you know what I mean.." Mikey silently whispered to Alex.
*Don’t blame yourself for myself…? Doing mt duty…? And I really shouldn’t have to say this but there’s no such thing as a silent whisper.
-Narration: He then clamped his FilmBrace on Carmen's right arm, and the VCP cassette on the left arm.
Caremn: "What's this?"
Kunio, I guess: "What you have on your arm is called a FilmBrace..With the VCP bracelet on the left, you load the mini-cassette into the FilmBrace compartment, and your newly possessed power shall be enhanced tenfold.."
Alex: "One more thing.. I'll add something in addition to your communicator.." It was a small microchip, similar to what Morpheous downloaded to Neo in 'The Matrix'. "As you go out there, the others will show you the rest..Consider this your orientation.."
*Carmen becomes the new YellowScanner, and she’ll be such a great addition to the team because…wait, when did she agree to have anything to do with this? Obviously our heroes would never force cooperation out of someone. Perish the tought.
-Kunio: “Forget the password, and they DOCK YOU!" said Mikey.(editor's note: a paraphrased line from The Hudsucker Proxy)
Kunio: "Kiddinggg!" he said. "Good luck, 'C-Lo', and godspeed.."
Carmen: "Uhh, yeah.." Carmen runs out to join the other rangers.
*See what I did there?! What does that line have to do with anything? I’m not watching a whole movie to understand one joke that’s probably not funny anyway knowing this story.
**At least Carmen has the same reaction most of the readers would.
-Trilobyte: “Scanrangers! I am pleased you've decided to come out of hiding! You would have the temerity to finish off my master, thus we've arranged to return the favor!”
*Wouldn’t that involve him getting even by killing Alex? Because that doesn’t seem to be one of Trilobyte’s priorities.
-Nick: “Well, pack your bags, fossil-face, cause we're sending you back where you came from!”
*That sounds eerily something the Power Rangers told Ivan Ooze. I’d avoid that if I were you, Vince Jones.
-Narration: Carmen, perplexed about all the new found situation she's now involved in, now saw the entire challenge of MAYHEM, excluding Lady Vixen and General Ug.
*By which he means Trilobyte, Key, and some Kinks. Why wouldn’t Trilobyte have brought Vixen and Ug, seeing as the plan was to wipe out the Scanrangers once and for all and the more power MAYHEM could bring, theoretically the better?
-Vin: “Carmen, on my mark..use the FilmBrace and VCP bracelet, and do exactly as I do, got it? What you did before will help increase your newfound power tenfold..OK?"
*What she did before? What did she did do before? He sounds like he’s talking about transforming into a Scanranger (increase her power tenfold), but this’ll be Carmen’s first time for that.
-Kunio/Narration: “Carmen! Listen up! This is Kunio! The professor had just added in this communicator within your helmet! I'm going to help you through the battle while you use your powers! For right now, stop that cannon fodder coming after you!" At that moment, a Kink tried to sneak her from behind, then she elbowed the creature in the gut, then gave it a judo chop in the neck!
*It’s nice that Carmen isn’t a master at Scanrangering just because she put on the bracelet and the veterans need to help her through her first battle, but wouldn’t constantly talking at her be kind of distracting? How did they set this up so fast anyway, and how is Kunio seeing the battlefield to warn Carmen about sneak attacks if he’s stuck in a hospital bed?
-Narration: As the other rangers defended themselves, Carmen recalled the skill her father taught her back in the D.R. "Capoeira.." she thought. With a 'ginga' one of the many basic skills of that martial art, she applies it to the unfortunate Kink, and then follows with an 'armada', kicking the Kink in the face, her right foot pointing straight up. "Behind you, Carmen! Two more!" said Mikey. She ducks, about to do a cartwheel, finishing with an 'au malandro', striking the two foot soldiers down!
*I’m sorry, but I have no idea what Capoeira involves, and Vince isn’t helping much. Of the three moves mentioned here only one is given any kind of description.
-Narration: PinkScanner said as she kicks a Kink in the stomach. The others used their regular skills. Blue swinging his Speed-Bo staff like a helicopter, smashing a few Kink faces, Green with his Disc Launcher locked, loaded, and sent some more soldiers flying. Red's FilmBlade sliced through some more, Silver clipped a Kink, stabbed it with his MagnumSabre, then switched his weapon to MagnumLaser mode, gunning down the last of them.
*The girls aren’t using their “regular skills”?
-Narration: Trilobyte thought, something different about that yellow SCanranger's moves..I cannot put my finger on it, but it's different than what I witnessed before.."
*This is the first time Trilobyte’s actually seen the Scanrangers, so why would he be the one to notice something different about them? I can accept he’s watched records of MAYHEM’s previous battles and is talking from that experience, but let’s remember the Scanrangers dissed him in civilian form before changing. He didn’t notice there’s still six of them but suddenly two women?
-Key: “Turn thosec robots into scrap, KuroSlasher!"
*Overwhelmed by Carmen’s Saint Seiya attack (negating a lot of what I said about it being nice she’s an amateur), MAYHEM calls in the big guns.
-Narration: Dolby and WideScreener both attack, but the monster retailiates with his double sickle/chainsaw blade, first slashing Dolby, and then pushing him aside to do the same to WideScreener! WS then uses his Screener Magnum to slow KuroSlasher down, but the creature stops then all with his whirling blade, which bounce off and hit both robots!
*Sickle? Somehow I see a slasher-themed monster using a scythe. What does the “whirling blade” attack mean? Does Kuroslasher throw its staff so it spins and slashes both robots?
**By the way, where was Widescreener when the base exploded? Did Alex, Vin and Takeshi escape by flying it out? Give me something.
-Narration: Silver programmed WideScreener to separate, and becomes the armor of Thunder Dolby, merging once again as Dolby WideScreener! The combined robo was about to throw a punch at KuroSlasher, but it was stopped in its tracks!
Toni: "What? What stopped us?"
Narration: The answer came in the form of KuroOctopus, back from the dead! The cybercreature held Dolby Screener as KuroSlasher made a direct hit within the chest area!
*And how did this dark miracle occur? Is there a jailbreak from Hell going on? Does Kuroslasher have a new power to revive its fallen brethren? If the latter, how does MAYHEM not exploit the hell out of it over the next episode or two? They started showing a modicum of intelligence over these last two episodes, Vince, don’t take that away from them! Having to deal with an outbreak of resurrected monsters would be a perfect proving ground for their new member, too.
-Key, I guess: “Yes!Kuroslasher activate-Slasher Fog!" The nightmare team spread a thick fog in front of Dolby Screener! At the same time, KuroOctopus began to drain our heroic robo!
*Why are they bothering with this when they’re already grappling with the Scanrangers’ robot?
-Narration/Alex: Back at Mt. Columbia Catacombs, Alex dashed over to Sarita's console, and loaded the disc Vin and Takeshi retrieved earlier. She, without a word, began punching numbers. "Come on..This isn't good..The Scanrangers are definitely gonna need your help!"
*Because they couldn’t have been getting the new robot ready to go in the time where they were visiting Kunio in the hospital. Maybe Vince could’ve said they were attaching the final pieces as Alex ran in to justify this a little? Come on, they’re training up a new member and their strongest robot is out of action at the same time. They should be jumping on every advantage they can get, like not waiting until the last minute to bring the newest robot online if they don’t have to.
-Sarita: “What's she going to do? BlockBuster's out of commission after that monster smashed the leg form of DivaScanner.."
Rosewood: "This is Lt. Commander Daphne Alexandria we're talking about here..Where there's a will, there's a way! And I think she's getting it now!"
*Oh give it a rest with the power of positive thinking already. I know it’s a hallmark of the genre but it only works if it’s being delivered by someone we want to listen to. The answer is they’re going to activate Stuntmaster, their new robot, and from the way Sarita and Rosewood talk you’d think they don’t know anything about it. Which, considering Project Paramount’s apparent policy on communicating relevant information, is very possible.
**This is just a thought, but they can’t use Blockbuster because one piece is damaged. Well, what about the other four? Four humanoid robots (except maybe Nick’s). I always pictured the ones that made up Blockbuster as stronger than Thunder Dolby, or at least its equal, and they’d have the advantage of numbers too.
-Narration: On the screen showed schematics of what looked like another robot..
*We know what this is, Vince, like I just got done saying. You can stop being vague already.
-Narration: The robot's eyes lighted up, and was activated! The hatch up above it opens, and the mecha flies to its destination-the giant robot battle!
*Lighted. That’s totally a real word. And where else would it go? Would Alex send it some testing ground to work all the bugs out before risking Stuntmaster in actual combat?
-Narration: Meanwhile, the six rangers are helpless as KuroSlasher sucker punches Dolby Screener, and KuroOctopus holds the robot. The tenacled creature swings DolbyScreener and throws the robot to the ground.
*According to dictionary.com, a sucker punch is “[a]n unexpected punch or blow.” If the Scanrangers aren’t expecting the monster to hit them, they’re even stupider than I thought. And for the last time it’s tenTacles, Vince.
-Alex: “Scanrangers, Meet StuntMaster!"
Narration: The robot was smaller than Dolby and WideScreener, yet it was more nimble and powerful as well. It bounced back and forth ready to go into action, and it did!
*It did? No kidding? What, like we were honestly expecting it to have a glitch so it would just stand there while the monsters annihilated Dolbyscreener?
-Narration: The cybercreature tried to grab it, but StuntMaster flips over and kicks the monster in the back, knocking it on the ground.
*Okay, Kurooctopus attacks in the next sentence so we can assume Vince didn’t mean that monster, but there are two in this fight so he could’ve been more specific.
-Carmen: “Wow! This is what you have for battle! That robo's way wicked cool!" said Yellow, in awe of seeing the new robot.
*Forget the one she’s sitting in now.
-Narration: With a high jump into the air, StuntMaster transforms into a giant plasma gun, simliar to the designs of the Decepticon named Shockwave.
*Shockwave. Not Tetra Boy.
-Narration: Stuntmaster is perched upon Dolby Screener, locking on its two targets!
*Gee, from before I thought Stuntmaster was incompatible with Takeshi’s mecha, which is currently wrapped all over Thunder Dolby.
-Narration: The Team Nightmare creature got out of the line of fire, leaving poor KuroOctopus at the mercy of StuntMaster's signature move!
*Yeah, poor merciless monster bent on the enslavement of the human race. Damn Scanrangers! When he grabbed your robot and started crushing the life out of it he just wanted to show how much he loved you!
-Narration/Kunio: …and Mikey, back in his hospital bed, shouted, "YATSU TA! ALL RIGHT, STUNTMASTER!" He then remembered his injury, grasping his leg.
*Are we supposed to be amused by his pain? Show that happening to B.C. and we’ll talk.
-Alex: “My friends..for the past week, it has been indeed a trying week for all involved in this cowardly attack on our planet. We've suffered many losses of our own; 58 of our own Second Unit who died protecting our country and saved others in the process. Know this, we have not lost the war! Cape Paramount shall carry on within our hearts forever!”
*Let the destruction of Cape Paramount Base be an everlasting testament to what we’re fighting for! Even though I couldn’t give two dingo’s kidneys at the beginning of the episode!
-Narration: A loud applause drowned the entire meeting area. The rangers, their civilian form, applaud as well, and waving the rest of the MCC members.
*Is is necessary to specify that they’re in normal form? Are they expecting a fight at the new base’s dedication?
-Narration: Even Mikey, who was able to listen to the live feed back at his dorm, still recovering from his injuries.
*He can go home from the hospital but he can’t go to the base?
-Narration: Alex went off to excuse herself, paying her respects at Roger's grave, and lain flowers on the ground. "Thank you, Roger..thank you.." A lone tear fell from the normally hard-lined military lady. "He already said, 'you're welcome..', said a voice.
*He already said you’re welcome…??? Now they’re just getting creepy. Really, somebody help me understand this. I’m that dumb.
-Narration: Alex turned, and saw Vin and the others, B.C.,Toni, Takeshi, Nick, and Carmen.
*Oh, those others. Am I giving mixed messages about what requires explanation? I feel like I am.
-Vin: “I wish I'd met you..You have one heckuva woman who's leading by example.”
*If that’s what you call meddling in her subordinates’ private lives, entrusting the fate of humanity to loose cannons who dress in blue, and pep-talking a confused kid so that she has to run back and activate a new weapon when her charges are about to be killed, then yeah.
-Preview: Will Mikey be able to help and train her in her new Anime abilities?
*Which isn’t the problem at all.
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish.
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Posted - 08/26/2009 : 08:00:13 AM
| Episode 32-Comes the Time of Testing..Carmen's Baptism of Fire!
Summary: Carmen doesn’t gel with the rest of the Scanrangers, so of course the others are captured and their rescue placed squarely on her shapely shoulders.
-The last episode was Carmen’s first battle, and for Scanranger it was pretty heavy. Wouldn’t her “baptism of fire” have already happened?
-Narration: Normally, it would be near the end of the episode where our heroes counterattack MAYHEM's monster du jour, but we'll try something different-On to the action already in progress!
*Good thing you warned us. I might just have died of shock.
-Narration: YellowScanner and BlueScanner smashes a cybercreature with their FilmBlades.
*A cybercreature, that’s how you introduce it. It’s not even one that’ll be dead and gone by the end of the scene, it gets away to menace them throughout the episode.
**Though really, “menace” isn’t quite the right word…
-Narration: It was RedScanner's cue to finish the cybercreature, then the team could break out their CamZooka or the CineMasher!
*He would finish the monster, after which they’d break out one of their heavy duty weapons. AFTER it was finished already.
-Narration: As Vin ran to use his new sword, the Cinerama Cutlass, Yellow ran ahead of Red.
B.C.: "Mate! Wait, Yellow!"
*Admittedly it might be force of habit, but why does B.C. think the new Yellowscanner understands Japanese?
-Narration/Kurolobo: She ignored the others and was about to use her Anime Film Energy, and became one with Saint Seiya(or Knights of the Zodiac) and used Pegasus Seiya's signature move Pegasus Ryuseiken. However, KuroLobo simply stepped out of the way, tripping her to the ground. "How was your trip, Scanranger?" replied KuroLobo.
*More entertaining than that joke.
-Narration: The monster then teleported despite its injuries.
*For the second episode in a row we have a monster running away DESPITE its injuries. That doesn’t mean “because,” Vince.
-Toni: “Blast! We had him! He got away! All we had to do was to let Vin do his thing, and the monster would've been finished, but a certain non-team player got in the way.." The others looked at Yellow.
*She only stopped being self-absorbed a little while ago. You guys didn’t expect an overnight transformation, did you?
-Carmen: “We'll get it next time around.."
Vin: "There may not be a next time!
-Toni: “These cybercreatures come back stronger!”
*Um, I skimmed through the list of monsters and the only opponent I can remember “coming back stronger” was the Demolisher, which wasn’t a cybercreature. Maybe Kurooctopus from last episode, but that’s hard to tell because it was ganging up on them with another monster and the Scanrangers’ toughest robot was out of action.
-Toni: “This isn't a Superman thing..We work as a team!”
*Superman’s not a team player? Guess that’s why he’s NOT a cornerstone of the Justice League or anything.
-Narration: At the same time, Professor Alex was watching the battle from her office at Mt. Columbia Catacombs, shaking her head.
*Evidently they did expect this undisciplined, untrained girl who didn’t know any of these people until a couple days ago to take over Kunio’s place in the machine that is Scanranger without any bumps.
-Narration/Creep: The first guy pretended to bump into her, knocking her books down. “Oh. Excuse me, but I lost my phone number..Could I borrow yours?”
Carmen: “In your dreams, creep..Take a hike.” Carmen replied, walking away from the two.
Narration: The first guy was highly insulted. He yelled at her, insulting her in turn.
*He expected her to be swept off her feet when he dumped her books and hit her with a prehistoric pick-up line, I guess. Again, why can’t he say what the character said, instead of telling us in narration? Couldn’t come up with anything family friendly, Vince?
-Narration: Carmen was offended at that remark. She turned and used her Anime/Sci-Fi Film Energy and summoned a Darth Vader-type being to strangle the two annoying guys, using the Force.
Creep: “AAGGGHH! What the blazes is going on? Something choking me..” said the second guy gasping for air.”
*Why a Darth Vader-TYPE being? Think that’ll save you from being sued if George Lucas reads your story, Vince? I was kidding when you did that with a South Park character.
**And what could be choking you, dear fellow? Surely not that imposing figure shrouded from head to toe in black armor.
-Narration: At that moment, Toni and Mikey, in a wheelchair, saw what was happening as they walked on by.
Toni: “CARMEN, STOP!”
*Now you’re using each other’s names in front of ordinary people too.
-Carmen: “Those two idiots insulted me, even made a derogatory remark at me!"
*Which your creator didn’t bother to share with us.
-Kunio: “I don't think you're aware of this-but what you did almost compromised your secret identity!"
*Because yelling at her to stop while using her name sure didn’t. It’s not like anybody on this team besides Nick goes by a name you’d call common, at least in the states.
-Kunio: “That prank you pulled, Carmen..Fortunately, no one else was around when you used your Film Energy..”
*Using your powers to strangle two guys for insulting you is a “prank,” huh?
**And nobody was around…except the ones she almost killed and who know her name now.
-Narration: While Toni and Kunio lectured the newest Scanranger, someone else was watching from a distance-namely Anark Key. He chuckled and transported back to MAYHEM headquarters.
*And right after saying it’s a good thing nobody was around to see Carmen blow her secret, a MAYHEM member who knows exploits that knowledge to spy on them.
-Key: “With the original YellowScanner out of the way, the Scanrangers cannot function correctly..Even as I speak, there's dissension on their team...and I can use that to our advantage, Colonel TriloByte.. What can this newest member, who can be the weakesr link-hope to accomplish?"
*Hopefully to spell right.
-Trilobyte: “Don't underestimate that woman, Key.. After all, you haven't witnessed her full power, which unfortunately, Lady Vixen and General Ug had encountered."
*The purpose of the Scanrangers’ suits, like with any Sentai, is mainly to amplify their abilities. Carmen schooled Vixen and Ug before Kunio handed over his stuff, so to say they saw her full power is a shaky assertion.
-Vixen: “No!! Let me deal with her! I want that upstart brat's head in a box! Let me take care of her, Colonel TriloByte! She cut my beautiful face! She must pay, with interest!!!"
Key: "Well, what say we settle this the old fashioned way? We'll flip for it.." Key pulls out a quarter. "Heads or Tails?"
Vixen: “Tails..she said."
Narration: Key catches it, and it lands heads.
*It defies all expectations, but Key wins the honor of the next attack by rigging his coin toss with a double-headed coin. For being the crafty one he doesn’t seem to know that when you do a rigged coin toss you call you it yourself then flip it before the other person has a chance.
**Admittedly, Vince probably copied this bit from when it happened it Jetman, which also got it wrong.
-Kunio: “Whoa, I've gotta go..I need to meet up with the rest of my study group..Check you ladies later.."
Narration: As Mikey rolled on to class,…
*So which is it?
-Key: “Hello, ladies..Are you two looking for a date? A date with your destiny?”
Somebody: “Anark Key! What do you want?”
Key: “Like I said, a date with destiny, alias dead!”
*The other villains I can almost forgive for the stupid ways they talk, but Key’s the one actually from this planet.
-Narration: The cybercreature leaped upon Toni and tried to wrestle her to the ground, but she kicks the monster over with a judo throw, back at Anark Key.
Key: “Get off me, dog!
*It’ll really help Carmen’s rep when she has to take these guys on all by herself and they’re falling all over each other like the Three Stooges now.
-Narration: Key swung his chains, shouting ‘FIRE FRY!’and blew his fire directly at the students.
-Kurolobo: “TIMBER FREEZE!” shouted KuroLobo. He proceeded to freeze Red, Green, Pink, and Blue.
Carmen: “Guys! Speak to me! What have you done to them?”
*You’re right girl, it’s such a mystery.
-Key: “Four out of five isn’t bad!” said Key. “We got what we came for!” Key said. “Let’s go!”
*Admittedly just before this Key tried to capture Carmen with his chains and she escaped, but they did just beat 80% of the main Scanrangers and she’s got almost literally no experience. I might let this pass in a better story, but why don’t they grab her too?
-Carmen: “This is all my fault! If I hadn’t been so pig-headed, Vin would’ve destroyed that monster, and the guys would’ve been safe!”
Alex: “This is a serious lesson you have to learn..especially in battle..I’ll briefly explain it to you as I explained to the team..Number one, there’s no I in team..”
*Ah, but there is an “I” in “Sentai,” and that’s what Vince desperately wants Scanranger to be. Just kidding. Sentai and Scanranger in large part manage to avoid one of the things that bugs me about Power Rangers in some recent years: they’ve been having one guy who’s the most important on a team show.
**By the way, “safe” isn’t a word that figures into their job. At least in a story with villains who pose a threat it shouldn’t. There’s minimizing risks, sure, but every time they go out to fight evil should be a time they might not come back.
-Alex: “Number two, like a movie production crew, everyone works together, from the star of the film to the behind-the-scenes crew. In order for the film to be successful, everyone must do their part as a team..”
*Nice analogy! Though I don’t mind saying if these guys actually were making a movie the end result would be a lot more Snakes on a Train than Citizen Kane. Even when everyone works as a team on a film crew, though, that doesn’t mean nobody ever screws up. You know what take numbers are, right Vince?
-Carmen: “Now, I understand why you’re the director.. and I understand why Kunio and the others respect you so much..”
*Because of the goofy way you deliver generic advice.
-Sarita: “Professor! I have a message from one of the MAYHEM captains.."
Alex, I guess: "What? Punch it up on the video screen.."
Key: "YellowScanner! You're wondering how I got through your communications..We at MAYHEM have our ways..”
*Of course this is something he’ll only exploit when it makes things easier on the writer.
-Key: “In order to save your friends, I'm willing to make a deal..I'm giving you four tasks you must do for me..The first one is as follows..There exists an out of print movie book that lies within the most dangerous street in the country..I wish for you to retrieve it..The second and third is a pair of tapes that include the most horrific creatures on Hollywood."
Carmen: "You're making it too easy..Anark..What about task number four?"
Key: "The last task shall be to my picking..”
*Aren’t all the tasks to his picking?
**Great imagination, by the way. He has his enemies in a position where he can demand anything he wants, and what does he demand? That Carmen buy books and movies for him. Key’s from Earth. He could put on regular clothes, walk into these stores and do these things himself. What the hell, Vince?
-Alex: “What do you think you're doing, Carmen? You must know it's obviously a trap!"
*And unless you’re suddenly open to the idea of writing off the team and replacing them, you would suggest what, boss lady?
-Carmen: “Don't you think I know that, Professor? Besides, I've made up my mind..There must be an agreeable heart, even in the evil of men.. Just one thing I need.."
*There must? Because she doesn’t appeal to the goodness in Key.
-Narration: Later, at the Leewood Park Mall, Carmen went to the Moonbay video store and saw two of the videocassettes Key had inquired about. Behind Carmen entered LaceFace and Sugar Guy two of Team Nightmare's members.
Carmen: "What's this? Who are you?"
Laceface: "Just your friendly neighborhood chaperones..We just wanted to make sure you hold up your part of the bargain, as per our orders from Master Key.." said Sugar Guy. He puts up his sharp hook across carmen's neck. "Remember, if you fail, your friends are history within four hours.."
*Moonbay video. Cute. Stupid, but cute.
**So Key can’t be bothered to go and buy the freaking movies, but he can send his android minions to keep an eye on Carmen while she’s doing his shopping.
-Narration: Carmen wanted to find a way to escape, to try to let these people know about these monsters.
Carmen: “My teammate's lives are at stake! I don't need the extra pressure with these creatures on my back! How can I pull this off without breaking the law?"
*Their mission is to keep an eye on her, not to attack the mall and make her choose between fighting them or getting the movies (which would also be stupid). She doesn’t need to warn people. How does Carmen plan to rendezvous with Key, anyway, if she gives her escorts the slip? Wouldn’t that just make him call Alex and warn her what happens if they don’t play ball with him?
**Lastly, what law is Carmen afraid of breaking? Escaping monsters in a no-fleeing zone?
-Carmen: “I got it! I got it! What's next?"
*They’re still within the jobs Key told her about.
-Narration: Their task led her to an old mom-pop bookstore in Somerville, and they retrieved the out of print book of International Horror Monsters of Film. The three rendezvous with Key, with Yellow finishing the first three tasks.
*That certainly was a harrowing adventure to the most dangerous street in the country. It might even be funny if they were the ones saying it.
-Carmen: “I’ve got what you need..A deal is a deal..”
*Yeah, a deal’s a deal, and you make it sound like youre trying to call it a day after doing ¾ of the stuff he wants.
-Key: “The final task is relatively easy..The tech specifics of StuntMaster, your new robot! I want the program!”
*The program, or the plans?
-Narration: Carmen returned to Mt. Columbia after she handed over the rare book to MAYHEM. She steps into the computer room and activated the console. She pulled up the file of StuntMaster, which had all the tech specifics and the workings of the utility robot. Dr. Markby passed by and saw Carmen. She then double-checked to make sure it was the right program, then took the StuntMaster disc, putting it in her inside coat pocket.
Markby: “Carmen!” said the doctor. She was startled. “What are you doing? That’s the specs for StuntMaster. What’s going-” She body-checked Dr. Markby and ran off without a word. “CARMEN! GET BACK HERE! GUARDS! GUARDS! STOP HER!”
*I don’t want to shock you but this is all an act. Carmen’s pretending to steal what Key wants, but hell if I could tell you why. Can he see inside their new base, necessitating the charade? If so, why isn’t MAYHEM blitzing this base too, especially with four of the Scanrangers out of the way?
-Key: “Excellent! Once we have StuntMaster, we’ll reprogram it and use it for our own dark purposes! LaceFace! Sugar Guy! Retrieve YellowScanner and that disc!”
*Except you sent her to get the plans for the robot, not the robot itself. Which you seem aware of when you tell your flunkies to get the disc.
-Narration: As Carmen was about to hand over the disc, it shattered during the transaction.
Laceface: “What? Who did that?”
Narratio: The answer came in the form of SilverScanner, who shot the disc in pieces with his MagnumSilver.
Takeshi: “I see your true colors now! You were about to sell us out to MAYHEM, traitor!”
*After all the “stray shots” when they hit what they were obviously trying to hit, it’s almost impressive Takeshi can shoot a CD out of somebody hand without taking their hand off at the same time.
-Carmen: “SilverScanner, No! Do you realize what you’ve done? Now the rest of the team is going to be destroyed!”
Laceface: “We’ll do that, after we destroy your friend for his interference!”
Takeshi: “You’re welcome to try, creatures!”
Narration; The two went at it with Takeshi and battled while Carmen was about to get paranoid about her soon to be jeopardized teammates.
*Is Takeshi sealing the rangers’ fate and Carmen freaking out part of the plan too?
-Carmen: “The fate of the Scanranger team is on my shoulders, I can’t give up! I CAN’T GIVE UP! I WON’T GIVE UP!”
NarratioN: At once, Carmen’s hair turned red, and gained extra strength, and transformed into YellowScanner! First, She pulled out her ScanLaser to take out Sugar Guy, she pulls out her FilmBlade and duels with LaceFace. Swiftly, the FilmBlade breaks LaceFace’s chainsaw.
Laceface: “What? Impossible! No one could break my chain saw in two!!
*Oh come on Vince! You had Carmen power up when her emotions peaked, slap around a bunch of villains, destroy the weapon one’s wielding and then have the villain completely dumbstruck that a mere human could break their weapon two episodes ago with Vixen and Ug!
-Narration: Suddenly, Carmen’s Film Energy depleted, her hair turned back to brown, and her body suit dissipated.
Takeshi: “Carmen! What happened? Dai so ka? Are you all right?”
Carmen: “What happened? I can’t power up like before! What happened to my Super-saiyan energy?"
*So yeah, it’s all a hoax. You’d think they might explore how Carmen’s able to juice up just by getting emotional, but we don’t find out why her power suddenly ran out or why it went wild for her in the first place.
-Carmen: “I can’t seem to fight off these B-Movie boogey men..What do I do?”
*She can’t change to Yellowscanner the usual way?
-Takeshi: “Hang on, Carmen..We just need to buy a little more time..”
Narration: In response, Sugar Guy replies, “You can do nothing, except die!” As he was about to slash Carmen with the hook, SilverScanner guarded her, the ground began to shake, Sugar Guy looked and saw StuntMaster! The robot slapped Sugar Guy across and over the horizon. LaceFace was next, and she replied, “Bye!” and teleported away.
*It’s Stuntmaster to the rescue! Didn’t have to buy much time, did they? What was Laceface replying to? And how did a 200-foot robot approach the battlefield without knocking them down with the force of every step?
**I have to ask, what was the rangers’ plan here? Why the fake betrayal act? Why bring in Stuntmaster to save the day? How does any of that advance Carmen’s goal of saving the other rangers?
**Now’s as good a time as any to give you the real answer to those last couple questions. See, the premise of Carmen pretending to betray the team and steal Stuntmaster to ransom captives from MAYHEM was pretty obviously lifted from a Jetman episode (“Traitorous Ryu”). Unlike “To Ching Chow,” where the theft was merely annoying, the lifting of an idea here is plain bewildering. In the Jetman episode, Ryu acted like he wanted to trade Tetra Boy for his brainwashed girlfriend, who he’d been grieving for the entire show. Not only was it believable, his deception had a purpose: it was all a plan to let him sneak into the villains’ base. If there’s any rhyme or reason to the heroes’ actions in this show, feel free to enlighten me.
-Takeshi: “Let’s now work out a plan to save-AHHH!”
Narration: Suddenly, in mid-sentence, Silver was also hit by KuroLobo’s Timber Freeze gun.
*So there was not in fact any plan. What the hell did they think they were doing, then?
**All of a sudden the monster’s freeze power comes from a gun. Why?
-Narration: Key swung his chain, and Carmen blocked it with KuroLobo’s gun, breaking it! With the broken gun, Silver was free from his statue form, and the imprisoned Scanrangers transferred from Nebutopia down to the battlefield, and are now free!
*Oh, it’s so that after a bit of kung-fuing, the gun can be broken and automatically defrost the rangers.
-Vin: “Are you all right, Carmen?"
Carmen: "Now that you guys are safe, I sure am!"
Vin: "Good, because the wolf's at the door, and we're gonna slam the door smack in his face! Go ahead and transform, lady!"
*Brilliant. Again, why couldn’t she do that on her own?
-Vin: “All right, you wolf in cheap clothing! This time we play for keeps! To the moon, creature!”
*Lazy puns and The Honeymooners! In the immortal words of Tom Servo, “Two bad things that go worse together!”
-Narration: Vin summoned his Action Film Energy, and as before, he calls up his new weapon, the Cinerama Cutlass, a newer version of his SwashBuckler sword which was destroyed by Blackorg. In the same way, he becomes one with Yoshimune, Errol Flynn, and Zorro, he combines all three of his previous attacks (Abarenbo Slash, the Flying Flynn Finish, and the Zorro Zlash). The other five rangers all gather in a circle as Red jumped, and the rangers give him a boost up to deliver the final blow to the cybercreature! “CUTLASS CRASH!”
*Along with Vin’s new sword comes a super duper new attack. It’s cool and all, but with this being Carmen’s episode, it feels out of place.
-Narration: As Key was about to attack with his energy chain, he forgot all about StuntMaster, who grabbed him from behind.
*Oh for crying out loud, how do you forget about something like that?!
-Carmen: “I anticipated that you weren’t going to play fair, Key, so like the Beatles said, I got by with a little help from my friends. I asked an old friend about the three tasks you wanted me to pursue."
Narration: Carmen had talked to Kunio to get some advice about the captured Scanrangers. He had handed her a tracer to put on the tapes. It'd probably would made sense to check the tapes before claiming..After all, to use Film Energy, you need something to work with.." Carmen holds up a Microsoft Word tape and peeled off the cover. Even your toadie General Ug would've figured this out!" "For the record, Silver had a hand in this too..The disc I brought was no more than a blank recordable CD.”
*Yes, yes, but you forgot to tell us WHY. Why the tracer? Why the act about her betrayal? A Microsoft Word tape? Where’d that come from? I get why the disc with the plans for Stuntmaster would be fake, at least, but man…this story is sooooooooo bad.
-Narration: The KillerBytes activate within the completely damaged cybercreature's body, and in the usual sentai fashion, grows into a giant!
Alex: “Scanrangers! Listen! All the repairs on the Box Office Smashers have been completed! You can use them now!”
Vin: “All right! We could use all the power we can get!”
Takeshi: “If you guys need some back up with WideScreener, you know to call me!”
Nick: “Thanks for the assist, but we can handle this..”
*Wasn’t the moral of this episode supposed to be about learning to accept help from others and generally work as a team? Why are you saying Takeshi can take five? Even more idiotically, notice Vin’s line. Wouldn’t Takeshi’s robot give their side a good bit of power? They don’t even use Stuntmaster in this fight, and it’s already there!
-Narration: The BOS's fly from the Hollywood Hills, get into their V formation.
*The Blockbuster pieces are stored in the Hollywood Hills? Which are, if I’m not mistaken, literally a continent away from New Jersey. This was mentioned before, when the rangers first got them, but there I figured it was just a bit of appropriate imagery. Maybe if Vince was going to make a movie-themed Sentai, it would’ve been more appropriate to actually set in Hollywood? If only so this didn’t happen.
-Narration: KuroLobo ran towards BlockBuster, and in the same way the cybercreature played YellowScanner, the Scanranger robot sidestepped aside and tripped the monster.
*Yeah, that happened, but do you remember it? It’s a pretty lame comeuppance in any case.
-Narration: The monster retailiated with its Timber Freeze, but it didn’t have any effect on the mighty robot.
*The one time the monster gets in a shot on Blockbuster, and it doesn’t do anything. No, this isn’t awesome, but thanks for playing.
-Narration: In return, Red shouted, “BLOCKBUSTER BARRAGE!” All the cannons and wrist blasters shot down the monster mercilessly!
*Our merciless heroes!
-Vin/Narration: “Now! PSI-TEK WAVE!" Red shouted as KuroLobo was helpless, being thrown down to the ground and back up again.
*You sound like you’re trying to say the monster was EVER a threat, Vince. To no one’s surprise, the rangers win.
-Nick: “Great work, Carmen! You’re a hero! You’ve passed the test!”
Carmen: “I am? I did? After how I totally screwed up?”
Kunio: “We all make mistakes in some way..”
*Like letting the entire team get kidnapped, almost murdering a pair of punks who called you a name, being B.C. Shimamura and getting out of bed the day someone intends to give you superpowers…
-Toni: “And, in the end, everyone worked together..”
*Well, NO. The others did chip in a little at the end, it’s true, but in pretty minimal fashion. Carmen did nearly all the work. What help she did get in the form of the homing device and Takeshi acting like she was a traitor was confusing and pointless. And again, they had Takeshi and Stuntmaster sit out the robot fight for heaven only knows what reason.
-Vin: “In a way, we could have found a way to escape that crystal trap, but Professor Alex has Mikey and Takeshi as trump cards in case anything went wrong, but you were the one who saved us from being a permanent collection in MAYHEM’s museum.”
Toni: “We’re proud to have you on our team, Carmen..”
*Even though we didn’t really need your help to get out of that. Vince, you just invalidated the whole episode!
-Narration: Colonel TriloByte had already completed the tasks Key had failed to complete. "Instead of a primitive tape, he didn't think about a video disc.." TriloByte had claimed a sci-fi DVD, an action DVD, and a comedy DVD with strong language. "All I had to do was to go into the human department stores(actually TriloByte went to a street vendor in New York hawking bootleg tapes and paid with a $50 bill-fake!)in disguise.."
*What in the hell happened, and why?
-Key: “How in blazes did he get money?"
*What’s so mindboggling about Trilobyte having money? He could walk into a bank, look at the vault mean and blow it open. That’s not what happened, he counterfeited it, but what’s so special about that either? The technology to counterfeit money exists in the real world, the technology to create cyborg monsters doesn’t. Get what I’m saying?
-Narration: The vendor realized his mistake. "What the---? That crook suckered me and gave me a counterfeit $50!"
*This happens right after Key’s question. What’s the point?
-Trilobyte: “Enjoy your victory, Scanrangers..With my Lord Blackorg's help and as he recovers, I assure you it shall certainly be your last!"
*If you read his description on the front page, you’ll see Trilobyte’s a former MAYHEM member looking for revenge (guess which one). Does that sound like anything a traitor would say in private or plan to do with his powers?
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish.
Edited by - hk6909 on 09/05/2009 1:26:33 PM
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Posted - 08/27/2009 : 4:57:07 PM
| Episode 33-Three the Easy Way -or- Tomorrow Never Dies another Day
Summary: There’s something about a monster that dehydrates people, something about a spy spoof B.C.’s writing, and something about the rangers impersonating the characters at a charity gala. It’s a really confusing episode.
-I honestly don’t know why I’m even attempting to dissect this episode. Even in a series as habitually annoying and confusing as Scanranger, this is the only episode to receive the lowest rating I have to give. You’ve been warned.
-Trilobyte: “My patience is wearing thin with these defeats.."
*You must not have much patience, buddy, because under you MAYHEM’s lost two, count ‘em, two times!
-Trilobyte: “If we can't persuade the humans to give up their resources, then we're going to have to corrupt it in order to claim it for ourselves..”
*When did they ever try to persuade people to give up Earth’s natural resources, or use the threat of their monsters as a consequence of the human race not coughing up said resources? And “corrupt it in order to claim it for ourselves”? Eh??
-Narration: Minutes later, TriloByte took a miniatured parasite and a Killer-Byte, crunched it up into a ball-like shape, and dropped it on top of an android skeleton. He proceeds to turn on the machine as it churns and kneads like a doughy mixture.
*A parasite? I thought he might have meant a Killer-Byte until one of those was mentioned too. Since when do the monsters in Scanranger involve parasites? And your menacing monstrosities probably shouldn’t be created by machines that conjure up images of bakeries.
-Narration: In a nearby park in the heart of the city, Takeshi was walking along with his fellow Asian Studies professor, Mai Lin, and enjoying the view.
*Nearby a satellite?
-Narration: On the other side of Katzenberg Park, however, the peace and quiet was not about to last.
*Is that another place named after someone in the movie industry? A search on IMDB turned up nine different Katzenbergs.
-Narration: One man, however, fell and was doused with water, gasped for air, and began to dehydrate!
*He was sprayed with water, which caused him to dehydrate?
-Narration: The cybercreature called KuroTylo, based on the fish-like dinosaur, laughed sadisticly as he terrorized the park goers.
*According to the websites I hit to find out what this is, a tylosaurus isn’t considered a dinosaur.
-Kurotylo: “HA HA HA HA! Water! Water! I must have water!" He proceeds to squirt more on another man and woman, gasping and then passes out!
*He sprays people with water, in order to collect water?
-Narration: Takeshi sensed the commotion and tried to excuse himself.
Takeshi: "I'm sorry, Mai..I've got to go..I forgot I had an appointment for this afternoon with one of my pupils.."
Narration: Using that as an excuse, the sixth ranger ran to find what was going on.
*Can you tell which of these three sentences was completely unnecessary, kids?
-Takeshi: “HENSHIN! EIGACHANGER!" Takeshi becomes SilverScanner once again.
*Oh, is that what it means when he screams “transform”?
-Narration: KuroTylo spouts a watery fluid on Silver, and suddenly the sixth ranger began to gasp for breath!
Takeshi: "Nan desu ka? Why can't I breathe?"
Kurotylo: “I've just sapped you dry, fool! In a few hours, your body will be drained, and you'll be nothing but dust, just like those helpless humans you've sworn to protect!"
*The people, it should be noted, who aren’t said to be put in special tanks while the rest of the team looks for a cure. Unlike the one victim who happens to be a superhero.
-Narration: Meanwhile, B.C. was coming out of his Creative Writing 2 class, and thought about some ideas for his next project.
B.C.: “Let’s see now..Sensei LeMond wants us to create an action packed/mystery or sci-fi epic. Since that’s Mikey’s category, it may be easier to do the former..”
*Shouldn’t that slash be between mystery and sci-fi? And I really wouldn’t call things in the James Bond/Tomb Raider/Mission: Impossible vein “mysteries.”
-Narration: B.C. then gets a call on his communicator. Naturally, it was Professor Alex, calling the rest of the team.
Alex: "Scanrangers, report to the IMAX briefing room immediately..Emergency.."
*Unnecessary explanations twice in as many pages. I know I said Vince ought to include dialogue merely indicated in the narration at least once in the last two episodes, but this isn’t what I meant.
-Narration: Vin, Toni, Nick, and Carmen also answer the call. Soon, the five intrepid campus students return to Mt.Columbia
*And again. Does he have to specify that everybody answered the call twice? No, you guys handle this one. I’ve got two tests in the morning.
-Markby: “The last thing Takeshi said was something about a re-server..It just didn't make sense." said the good doctor.
*No it doesn’t. That someone could confuse two words that are pronounced so differently (reservoir and “re”-server), I mean.
-Narration: The team witnessed KuroTylo attacking more citizens, spraying them with its water, then fell limp, trying to get water to hydrate themselves.
*So why are they still there?
-Nick: “Wait! I think Takeshi meant, reservoir!"
*It took them like a fifth of a page to figure that out. So yeah, it’s the old “poison in the water supply” trick.
-Carmen: “Dios! That monster could kill millions! But we don't know what reservoir he'll strike at first!"
Alex: "Something else I've recently discovered, too..There's a gala event going up tonight at Pine Run..The State Water Company is about to open up a new reservoir not far from the state border!"
Vin: "Which means the service area is..around here!"
Somebody: "Later that evening there'll be a party to celebrate the opening.."
Toni: "What's the plan, dear teacher?"
Alex, I guess: "We've got to stop that monster from poisoning the supply.."
Nick: "Wait a moment, guys! This may work in our favor! I have a cousin up North Jersey who's an administrative assistant for the company! I could see if I can call in a few favors and get in the party!"
*I understand this is a lot of lines, but can anybody tell me where it was addressed how they know which reservoir Kurotylo’s going to hit? They act like this party proves that’ll be his target, even though it would mean a ton more potential witnesses too.
**By the way, if the monster’s poison causes dehydration doesn’t that mean it would evaporate all the water or something? Is that the plan, or is he hoping to make people drink his poison?
-Nick’s Cousin: “State Water, Bonnie speaking..Nick? To what I owe this honor? Sure, you haven't changed..only calling me when you want a favor..Tickets for the reservoir gala? Four guests including you? Heh..The only way you'll be able to do this is to be our entertainment for the night..So, you'll do it anyway..More power to you..I'll leave the passes at the door.."
*Wait, four guests, including Nick? Vin keeps an eye on the reservoir while the others are performing for the guests, but does that mean our heroes had to resort to breaking and entering a state facility? And that they planned on doing so the whole time? Especially after “Chaos Will Be” when Alex was got the army to back off. Why does Nick have to beg a favor from a relative who works at the site if they have that kind of clout?
-B.C.: “Vin-he’s a smooth, suave, calm guy without guile, but when it comes to his aikido skills, he’s dangerous..That’s it..I dub thee..Triple V.(VvV).."
Narration: B.C. envisions Vin in a souped-up BMW convertible riding up the Rockies. Talking to the camera, Vin speaks.
Vin: “Twixter Smith thinks that TV’s harmful to the kids..Well, that’s why we have Sesame Street, Dragon Tales, and Sponge Bob Square Pants..Twixter also wants to ban recess because kids may get ‘hurt’ playing tag. Ex-squeeze me, senator, but the less fun kids can have, the fatter the kids can get in society..and don’t blame video games! The President’s Council of Fitness & Sports are appalled at your actions! Let the kids play, blast it!” VvV then drives the Beamer off the cliff, but escapes with a parachute. He opens it as the car plunges into the ravine.
*I ask you, who knows what’s good for our kids better than a man who drives a car off a cliff for no reason? HK Jr.’s watching Jackass 2.5 whether he likes it or not!
**You can tell this is a satire because a guy’s saying Spongebob Squarepants is an example of what’s good for developing minds. Seriously, have you ever seen that show, Vince? It’s about as close to edutainment as Hitler is to winning a popularity contest.
-B.C.: “Chikyu calling Vin..He-llooo..Earth calling Vin."
Narration: B.C. waved his hand in front of him awakening the Vin Man from his fantasy dream state.
*That last scene started as B.C. imagining Vin’s character and ended up with Vin fantasizing the same thing? Ewww.
-Somebody: “Since we've seen Triple X, and you're the stealthiest fighter on account of your action energy, and your undercover work.."
*What they’re trying to say, I think, is why Vin should guard the reservoir while everybody else goes and does…something. How do his action powers make him stealthy, and what undercover work are we talking about here?
-Narration: Taking on B.C.'s creative writing idea, Nick and B.C. show up at the costume ball, with Toni and Carmen along with them.
*Why mention them separately?
-Somebody: “It's about time! I didn't spend $500 for the entertainment not to show up! Before the band performs, you guys should be set to do your comedy act!" said Mr.Kelly.
*Mister who? Anyway it’s a penny-pinching miser. Got any other trite stereotypes for us Vince? Maybe a world-weary hero whose will to live is revived by a precocious urchin, an old woman who refuses to leave the land her family’s lived on for generations despite a cataclysmic tornado/earthquake, or a Texan businessman complete with a cowboy hat and an accent thick enough to break a diamond saw.
-Nick: “Ready to do your thing, 009?" said Nick/Boston Powered.
B.C.: "As ready I can ever be, Mr. New England Man of Mystery.." said B.C.
*You know you’re spoofing a spoof, right Vince?
-Narration: The four start the opening act in the same fashion not unlike a James Bond opening- the iris, and the crosshairs focusing on B.C. Instead of a gun, he threw a cherry pie with whipped cream.
*Auteur, auteur! We’ve all seen that bit where James Bond shoots at an iris, so tell me, have you ever once seen crosshairs in that?
-Narration: Normally,when JB goes out spying, he zips off his wet suit, revealing a tuxedo underneath. This time, he does the opposite, as he searched for that relentless double agent, Ernie Sturgeon Blofish.
*Why would he put on a wetsuit? Changing which happens first isn’t funny, Vince. Not in this case, at least. In any event, the next few paragraphs are apparently taken from some kind of play the rangers put on spoofing famous super spies, which I guess is based on the story B.C. was writing. I have no idea what the plot is or why I should care.
-B.C.: “You? I don't believe this..Mac, the Light Angel?"
Narration: Played by Toni, (the answer to Dark Angel)
*I’d ream on Vince for thinking he needed to point this out, but I barely remember hearing about Dark Angel at all.
-Narration: He looked, and saw Carmen, in Lara Croft gear, with a silver spandex bodysuit, armed with two .44's, only calling herself Lana Kraftwerk, Grave Raider of the Lost Temple.
*I guess it does involve a lot of the same kinds of stuff, but when I think Tomb Raider I don’t think “super spy,” I think more “Indiana Jones with sex appeal.”
-Narration: Mac caresses 009's face.."Mmmm..Foam or Edge side?" Like Curly, B.C. briefly went out of character, and started to gobble like a turkey, similar how a pretty woman would flirt with the Stooge.
*I remind readers of “And Voodoo To You Too” where B.C. did a Curly imitation in the middle of a serious conversation. How is this is out of character for him?
-Vin: “Undercover work..they say..I'm the stealthiest fighter who can infiltrate the basement, they say..”
*The reservoir is in the building’s basement?? Funny, I would’ve thought outdoors.
-Vin: “Note to self.. when you suggest big ideas with a party in the background, instead of playing behind the scenes, keep your big mouth shut!"
*Vin suggested he do this? When?
-Kurotylo: “Thanks for looking after the liquid supply, fellas! Have a drink on me, will you?"
Narration: One guard began to get delirious and gasped for air like the other victims who suffered at Katzenberg Park earlier in the day. The other, however, did not suffer any ill effects, but was simply unconscious.
Guard: “Max! Max!" cried his fellow guard.
*Needless to say, the monster does show up and try to poison the water. The guard who was knocked unconscious can still talk, evidently.
-Vin: “Wait a minute..I see a connection..Takeshi, Professor Lin, and this poor guy.."
Narration: Vin flashes back on Takeshi still in the water chamber..the professor also in the hospital breathing oxygen, and the guard's skin drying up rapidly, to the extent his skin began to peel!
Vin: "Why would MAYHEM focus on attacking people older than 25 years old?”
*That’s a point, why only people 25 and over? The monster can only use its poison to kill one of the Scanrangers, for crying out loud.
-Vin: Vin began to grapple with him, but remembering not to get close or he'd suffer the same fate as the other victims!
*I’m sorry but grappling someone and keeping a safe distance are mutually exclusive.
-Narration: The other four, still in costume, appear to give Vin a hand.
Vin: "Nice get-up, 'Boston Powered'.."
Nick: "You don't look so bad yourself, 'Triple V'..Shagadelic, indeed, baby!"
Kurotylo: "What is this? A band of quick change artists to challenge me?"
*I’m just fighting for my life against a cyborg dinosaur, feel free to get off some banter. Then again, Vin did presumably did start it.
**And quick change artists? This is the first time the monster’s seen any of them.
-Narration: Blue attempted to goad KuroTylo into wearing him out, with the monster's backpack already near empty.
*Meaning what? That gauges how much strength he has left?
-Narration: Blue used the pause button on his FilmBrace to freeze KuroTylo, then pulls out his Speed-Bo Staff, changing it into mallet mode, and KuroTylo froze in its tracks, with the tail in mid-air.
*How many times did he freeze it?
-Narration: In the regular fashion, the other rangers follow with a combination attack.
*And in regular fashion the monster just stands there and gets pounded.
-Narration: Yellow combined her Anime Film Energy and combined it with her love of video games, Thus, becoming one with Lara Croft-Tomb Raider, she became one with the video game/movie, and began gunning the monster with deadly accuracy!
*She combined them twice?
**By the way--and I honestly doubt this is what Vince intended, he probably just realized a little too late there’s no Tomb Raider anime--but it’s lame giving females extra powers to make them tougher. Especially video game ones on a team where “movie” is part of the name. Video games are more cinematic than ever, true, but there’s so much Carmen could use that for it’s way too much. Mainly because this means she has two entire mediums, not genres, she can tap for special attacks. Why couldn’t she whip up a shooting attack from Lupin III or Golgo 13? That would’ve been possible with the powers she already had and those are closer in spirit to James Bond than Tomb Raider anyway. If she even needs to use her powers for this when a laser gun is part of her basic equipment.
-Narration: Green was next, Becoming one with Austin Powers, he uses a SFX blowing himself up to the size of a 500 pound sumo wrestler, similar to a certain blobby, and obnoxious Scotch character from the two sequels.
*Scotch can be used to mean Scottish, but who does?
-Vin/Narration: “Let's put 'em together!" said Red, utilizing the Scanranger personal weapons once more. Pink's Film Splicer Shield, Yellow's Valkyrie Vancers, Green's launchers, Blue's staff, and now Red's Cinerama Cutlass.
*And here for the first time we see the Scanrangers use their all-new powered-up Cinemasher. Except I was under the impression Nick only had one launcher.
-Narration: The other victims were automatically hydrated again back to normal, none the worse for wear, including Professor Lin and Takeshi, conscious, and eyes burning for revenge!
*Everyone’s okay with the monster’s demise, and Takeshi’s burning for revenge. Which Alex won’t allow anyone on her team to fight for, as I recall from that “Power Upgrade” mess.
-Trilobyte: “KILLERBYTE! ACTIVATE!"
Killerbyte: "I'm awake! I'm awake! Hold your horses! I've got a big dino-fish that's out of water!"
*I see Byte’s replacement are programmed with the same annoying attempts at humor.
-Kurotylo: “Guess who's making it big, Scumrangers!" shouted the cybercreature.
Vin: "These PR type jokes are getting very bland.."
*Wait until your own material’s better before you go pointing fingers, Fearless Leader.
-Narration: KuroTylo then squirts its water draining liquid on Thunder Dolby THX as the tongue releases itself!
Nick: "Our energy levels have dropped rapidly! We can't move!"
*Is Thunder Dolby’s power supply somehow dependent on WATER??! Look, even the story says what the liquid does!
-Vin: “We've got to try to power up our energy as before!"
Kurotylo: "Ah ah ah! Not if I crush you from inside first!"
*Power it up before as in when? And crush them from the inside???
-Narration: As the giant monster does so, it was hit by an energy blast! "What hit me?" said KuroTylo. The Scanrangers look up in the sky.
Takeshi/Narration: "I DID!" said SilverScanner, alive, kicking, and cured flying WideScreener.
*Yay, Takeshi’s alive! Which we…already…knew.
-Takeshi: “SILVERSCANNER, J MODE!"
Narration: He enlarges himself to the height of the competitants.
*The height of the what??
-Narration: The monster falls on its backside, which gave the rangers time to focus and concentrate on reactivating Dolby back to full strength.
*So if the robot’s low on power, the rangers can just concentrate and power it back up, huh? Bullsh!t. You want your story to be dramatic, right Vince? Then make this something dramatic. Make it so a crewmember has to fly out in a rocketship and drop them a new power cell or something, so there’s the risk of the monster shooting it down. That’s just one possibility, but concentrating for a few seconds to make everything all better is weak.
-Vin: “The fish is now out of water, people!”
*Did that joke when the monster first got big, but thanks anyway.
-Narration: Three days later, Vin, Takeshi, and Nick went to B.C.'s dorm.
Somebody: "So, how did it go with the rest of your story?"
Vin: “Wait a minute. B.C. You never finished the rest of the story..Of course, VvV got the girl, just like Xander did..”
Nick: “Or myself, Boston Powered had his way with the ladies, too..”
Somebody: “Don’t tell me 009, with his sinister charm, got the girl..”
B.C.: “Two words for you guys..Surprise ending.. Apparently, after the three heroes go their separate ways, Easy Hunter(a spoof of Ethan Hunt from Mission Impossible and MI:2) intervened and ran off with the girl..”
*What story? What girl? We never heard what was going on in B.C.’s story. Was there an earlier draft where this crap was explained?
-Somebody: “So who did you cast as our girl stealer, Mr. Plot-Spoiler?”
B.C.: "Can't tell you..To be continued in Volume Two..Available next issue.”
*Now Vince is trying to be annoying.
-Takeshi: “Another story for another day..This episode shall self-destruct in three seconds!"
*I know I should stay away from the obvious but the story started self-destructing two sentences into the first episode.
-Narration: Not unlike Tom Cruise in MI:2, Takeshi tosses them to the audience,and the camera fades out.
*Confusing end to a confusing story. At least it’s consistent.
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish.
Edited by - hk6909 on 08/28/2009 09:00:24 AM
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Posted - 08/29/2009 : 07:29:58 AM
| Episode 34-From Here to Fraternity
Summary: Vixen uses a monster to take over a frat house for her own sinister purposes.
-Subheading: Special guest stars-Danger Woman and The Phantom Highlander!
-Vin: “Hey, Tyrone.What's going on? Everything's all right, man?"
Tyrone: "Yeah, bro, I guess so..It's just that I've been here at CNJ a couple of semesters..I'm trying to find the right crowd to hang with, but it seems like I don't feel wanted."
Narration: Tyrone Walker was also a Physical therapy major like Vin, yet he had very little family. Since he was an only child, and his parents passed on on an early age, it seems he had very little conversation with others except for Vin, who befriended him in one of his other classes.
*Vin runs into a buddy who’s trying to find out where he belongs. I have to ask, if he’s been at CJU for several semesters, how hard has he been looking? And excuse me, Vin’s a Physical Education MINOR. Thoughtful of you to include their majors in their profiles, Mr. Jones.
-Narration: The conversation was interrupted by a group of Greek pledges stomping to the beat, preparing themselves to join their exclusive group.
Tyrone: "There it is, Vin..The 'O-Dogs'..I wouldn't mind at all to get involved with these homies."
Vin: “Omega Alpha Omega? I don't know, dude..They go great community service for Leewood Park, no doubt..but their boot camp is rough..At the same time, it's a positive way of building up self-esteem."
Tyrone: "That's all right, you know what I'm saying? I just might go ahead and check this out..What about you, Vin?"
Vin: "Fraternities don't interest me.. I've got all the self esteem in practicing my aikido skills..Almost close to a third degree Black Belt..
*They go great community service? Almost close to a third degree black belt? And not that I want Earth’s defenders unnecessarily crowding their schedules, but it almost sounds to me like Vin’s turning down the offer of becoming a pledge because he thinks extracurricular activities beyond his martial arts (which he’s presumably been practicing all his life) are beneath him.
-That’s pretty much it for Tyrone’s involvement. I’m not kidding, just like that the B-plot for the episode slides right out of the alphabet.
-Narration: Colonel Trilobyte continue to rebuke the MAYHEM captains for their recent failure. Anark Key tumbles on the floor, bruised and singed by the stand-in leader.
*Funny, I remember KuroTylo being Trilobyte’s idea because the Colonel was realizing if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. I wouldn’t mind if only Trilobyte was placing blame on Key, as it’s a scientific fact short-tempered villains can’t accept their faults, but when the narration’s doing it too, you have to wonder how out of touch the writer is with the world he’s creating.
-Vixen: “Lord Trilobyte..Obviously the Scanrangers are in close proximity to the school..Perhaps Professor Fox can make an appearance to mess up the minds of the campus students."
*No kidding, lady! We’ve been over this a hundred thousand times, MAYHEM knows the rangers’ real identities. At least it looks like Vixen’s finally going to take advantage of her job at CJU.
-Narration: Vixen holds up a copy of the Crusader Chronicle.
*A copy of the what? Oh, that’s the campus newspaper, isn’t it? I don’t think we’ve heard that name since before the Scanrangers had their first fight with Benedict.
-Narration: Pointing to the various fraternity and sorority ads encouraging the campus to sign up for these clubs, she specifically shows Ug, Key, and Trilobyte her ad.
Vixen: "I took the liberty of infiltrating a fraternity, a secret society not unlike the Americans with the so called 'Skulls' club."
*Something tells me most of what Vince knows about fraternities comes from movies like Animal House and the aforementioned The Skulls. Anyway, the fraternity she’s infiltrated turns out to be the one Vin’s friend was interested in. The one that goes great community service. Why would Vixen pick that one, rather one that really is involved in nefarious activities already? I mean, if you’re going to compare what you’re doing to The Skulls…
-Vixen: “KuroDoberman will be perfect for our demonic fraternity.." continued the evil henchwoman. "I'll also have Andy Roy & Cyrus to assist him as well."
*Cyrus? Wait a minute. Yeah, checked the front page, Vixen’s personal underlings are “PB Floyd-'Pretty Borg Floyd' & Andy Roy.” When the heck did Floyd become Cyrus? Couldn’t Floyd have gotten killed back in the invasion of the base, prompting Vixen to replace him?
**The sad thing is Vince apparently thought up a pun (his full name is Cyrus Borg. Get it?) and changed the villain’s name on account of that. I’d chew him out for ruining his villains’ menace even further, but in Sentai the villains’ names are often plays on words. Then again, that’s because they’re made in Japan and puns are actually considered clever there.
-Narration: And back on Earth, a very familiar ally picked up a warning from above.."Whoa..My Danger Sense is ringing again..Trouble on the horizon again..It's good for me, since I haven't seen action for a few weeks..The Scanrangers gonna need some assistance again from yours truly.." Danger Woman dashes upstate north to join in the future battle!
*A very familiar ally who’s made two significant appearances with long gaps between them.
**How does her danger-sense power work if it reacts to the menace of a pretty standard filler episode, but not when the Scanrangers are fighting something that requires multiple episodes to beat and brings them to the brink of defeat? Guess it’s a power of plot convenience, like the ethnic Superfriends.
-Narration: Over at Mt. Columbia Catacombs, the team was in a very intriging dilemma.
Markby: "I hate to say this, team, but your individual mecha is going in for some last minute repairs..."
Nick: "Hey, wait a minute, Doc! You mean our Hollywood Vehicles are going through a thousand mile check-up?"
B.C.: "This is crazy.. For the first time in sentai history..Our robot's out of commission because it needs an oil change?"
*Now they’re just being silly, and this was probably done to make Scanranger more “realistic.” Should it come as a surprise some of the biggest, most elaborate machines in the world, meant for combat besides, would need routine maintenance? Get outta here. No I can’t think of a time where they showed a Sentai repairing their robot and a monster hadn’t just kicked seven shades of crap out of it, but that doesn’t mean I think they never spend downtime fixing general wear and tear on the robots.
**Their disbelief might even make some kind of sense if these were the original Thunder Dolby and Widescreener. I hope I don’t have to remind anyone both robots were annihilated by Benedict’s Brigade and had to be completely rebuilt in ep. 22-23.
-Markby: “It's important, B.C." said Dr. Markby. Something's disrupting the flux of Film Energy running through these machines..Hopefully we'll find out before MAYHEM attempts to attack again..In the meantime, the Box-Office-Smashers are still ready in case of any emergency.."
*I love how he says that like their more powerful robots are the ones they’d keep in reserve. Especially now, in the latter half of the story, where the villains are always more powerful than ever. I’ll talk about how silly this whole subplot is later.
-Takeshi: “You're also telling me WideScreener needs to be fixed as well What do I get in case of any dire consequence?"
*Not really, Markby didn’t specifically say which robots are out of action (they’re Thunder Dolby and Widescreener). Anyway, you’ve already got it. J Mode, remember? Takeshi’s the only Scanranger who can participate in a giant fight without a robot.
-Markby: “I'm glad you asked me that, Takeshi.." said the good doctor. "Kunio and I have been working on some new wheels to accomodate the Scanranger's Bijou Bikes. Step in this car, please.I'm about to take you for a little ride."
*Nice how Vince is still trying to portray Kunio as useful now that he can’t actively fight anymore, but he’s an artist, not an engineer to the best of my knowledge. He’s designing battle machines that they then go and build?
**By the way, as you might have guessed from Dr. Markby saying this car is a companion piece to the other rangers’ Bijou Bikes, it’s designed to battle human-scale opponents. Takeshi was asking what he’s supposed to do without his GIANT ROBOT.
-Markby: “Now, Takeshi, make the car transform!"
Narration: It does so, and suddenly his new ride became his outer armor, similar to the Mospeada mecha armor.(veritech Cyclone), but in a mini compact car form.
Takeshi: "Fascinating.. Now I have wheels of my own.."
Markby: "I still have to work out the bugs on your vehicle, Takeshi. You'll be the first to know once I get a few more research videos and DVD's to align the car to your liking.."
*So not only is this car scaled to the wrong style of battle for which Takeshi will be short-handed, it’s not even ready yet. What was the point of all this? And what the heck are “research videos and DVD’s” supposed to be in relation to a car that turns into robot armor?
-Narration: Meanwhile, Vin's friend, Tyrone was already in the heart of his pledging to the Omega Alpha's. The pledgemaster, whom the Omegas called 'Dark Playa' led him and three other freshmen pledges stepping in rhythm. They all wore lavender colored sweatshirts.With a chant similiar to the Winkies, the personal guards of the Wicked Witch of the West, going 'OOO AAAOO OOOHH OHH!', while Dark Playa wore black.
*Vince, you want these guys to seem tough and cool, I’m guessing, and you’re comparing to them to people called “Winkies”?!
-Narration: Vixen, now posing as Professor Fox, makes her way through campus, witnesses various sororities and fraternities in their pledge drive to recruit new members.
Vixen: “So this is how other campus kids get involved..I read about an incident where a club like this participated in an event where the frat kids got highly intoxicated and were banned from the school, ruining the club’s reputation, and I could do the same here without anyone knowing about it..”
Narration: Vixen saw the Omega Alpha Omega’s pledgemaster over at his table talking with a couple of girls.
Vixen: “A very devastatingly handsome man, Oh, yes! KuroDoberman could certainly use him for our next great plan!”
*She said she infiltrated a fraternity already. She lied.
-Narration: Vixen, PB Floyd, and Cyrus Borg stood side by side with another copy of the Mega Omega pledgemaster, now bound and gagged from hand to foot.
*That’s bound hand AND foot. And wait a minute, was Floyd replaced, or Andy? Does Vixen have three guys working for her now?
-Vixen: “Now if you excuse me, I'll leave the three of you alone to get acquainted with each other.."
Narration: As the villainess left the room, she transforms her warrior wear into a purple business suit, donning her guise as Professor Fox.
*So the bad guys have captured OAO’s pledge master. Why did Vixen change back to her regular self anyway? Now there’s someone who knows Professor Fox and Vixen the space warrior are the same person.
-Narration: 'Dark Playa' could do nothing but mumble and curse the cyberguards under the tightened gag.
Floyd: "So you think you're a tough guy, eh? That's nothing after we soften you up in a little while!"
*What are they going to do to him? I don’t think we ever find out.
-Narration: A little later, Carmen and Toni approach the Scanranger leader in the Campus Center.
*What’s wrong with “Vin”? This almost makes it sound like they’re meeting to discuss superhero stuff.
-Vin: “So what do I owe the pleasure of talking to two pretty teammates?”
Toni: “Nothing really important, Vin, but we thought we’d commend you on helping that guy to get involved in some college activities..”
Vin: “No big deal..Anyone could’ve done that. Tyrone could’ve joined the International Students Club, or the ‘Crusader Chronicle’. That would have been enough, too..”
*Two pretty teammates? Keep on keeping that profile low, Vin. And what do you mean “enough”? He half sounds like he hoped Tyrone would’ve picked something other than OAO.
-Narration: Vin then notices ‘Dark Playa’ walk by with his pledges, yet they all had a very glazed look in their eyes.
Vin: “I’ll see you two later..I need to talk to this guy for a second..”
*Talk to him about what? If Vin thinks something suspicious is going on, why wouldn’t he at least tell the other rangers who are sitting right in front of him? Arrrgh!
-Vin: “Something’s not right about Ty’s pledgemaster..He’s been acting strange.like some alien had taken over him..”
*Like an alien had taken over him! And the guy thinking this is the leader of the team that exists to stop aliens that are up to no good! See previous rant!
-Narration: One of the OAO pledges turned to Vin, exposing his face in a split-second, revealing himself as Andy Roy!
*Nice undercover work there, MAYHEM.
-Vin: “It’s one of Vixen’s bodyguards! That means she must be close by! But what does she want with a fraternity?”
*That’s actually a pretty good question that never gets answered. The swarm of robot mosquitoes MAYHEM tried once had more to do with taking over the world.
-Vixen: “Mmmm, a handsome, but nosy fellow..Do you know what happens to handsome and nosy fellows?” said Vixen, back in her warrior clad uniform.
*Predictably, Vin gets caught. I’m not gonna harp on Vince stealing a line from a far better production (I believe it’s Chinatown this time), but Vixen’s wearing WHAT?
-Kurodoberman: “I know..We put him through my initiation period, as these poor humans had survived..and to make sure that he becomes part of the O-Dogs, we’ll put him on a straight leash for awhile..”
*Don’t you mean a tight leash?
-Narration: KuroDoberman then uses a hot firebrand with the MAYHEM emblem on Vin’s leg.
Kurodoberman: “His will is mine to obey! With this branded Scanranger, he shall submit his life only to me!! Hah!”
*Whose will is whose to obey???
-Narration: The next day at CJU, Toni, B.C., and Carmen hang out with Kunio at the Crusader Campus Center cafeteria.
Toni: “So you’re saying that Sailor Moon’s now made live action, too, Mikey?”
Kunio: “The rumors are true..The question remains is that will that evil owner renew his plans to bring it here to the States in his own way?”
Carmen: “I heard about it, too! The horror! The horror! I saw the pilot online recently, and I thought I was going to hurl!”
*They’re talking about the infamous aborted version of Sailor Moon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7Hge38AkFg&feature=related)--I THINK, but as usual I have to puzzle it out for myself--and taking the opportunity to rip on Haim Saban once again. Unfortunately for Vince and his vendetta against the mind behind Power Rangers, Saban actually had nothing to do with creating that version of everyone’s favorite pretty soldier (http://www.animefringe.com/magazine/01.06/feature/2/index.php3).
**I’m unclear about where they’re going with insinuating Saban would try to import Sailor Moon “his own way.” Do they know (or more pertinently, does Vince know) how old that trailer is? The reason that version didn’t get made was they decided it made more sense to dub the original anime instead, which started airing in the states in 1996. That’s a year before Scanranger hit the internet. Do the rangers think it was created recently, with plans to air it the near future? And did Vince never notice that since Disney bought his company, Haim Saban hasn’t made anymore kids shows? This episode of Scanranger was written a few years after the properties had changed hands (my reading copy is dated 2004).
**I agree with Vince, I’m glad that version of Sailor Moon never materialized, but as usual he seems to think anyone reading already knows what he means (a lot like me). And he’s just plain wrong. Wrong about Saban’s involvement and wrong about thinking the guy is likely to desecrate anymore of his beloved Japanese action shows. Somehow it still amazes me how such a minor point can do so much damage.
-Narration: Suddenly, as they were about to depart, they heard a ruckus near the Science hall.
*The science hall? Not the Clark Gable science hall or whatever? Maybe Vince realized he was overdoing it.
-Narration: The five investigate, and witness the Omega Alpha pledges terrorizing the students,even starting a food fight.
*Not a food fight! Vixen, you fiend!
-Takeshi: “What the blazes is going on? I know these guys are pledging, but this is going too far!”
Nick: “I don’t know, Takeshi, but this is not campus behavior! What’s this, anyway, a remake of ‘Animal House’?”
Carmen: “Looks like we’ve stepped on the set of ‘Higher Learning’..”
B.C.: “How about ‘School Daze’?”
*How about you asses stop showing off and do something about the guys trashing your school?
-B.C.: “And where’s the pledgemaster to this crew?”
Takeshi/Narration: “I have no idea, but I’m going to find out..” said Takeshi. He dashes back to the campus center to search for the one called 'Dark Playa'.
Narration: At once, the ‘O-Dogs’ set their sights on the four remaining rangers and began to leap and attack them!
*So Takeshi leaves his friends to face a bunch of attacking frat boys…why exactly? And must ‘Dark Playa’ be in quotes every single time?
-Narration: The four remaining rangers attempted to fight, but showed restraint being that the Omega Alphas was controlled against their will. Tyrone, under Vixen’s spell, swung his paddle, and whacked B.C., sending him flying.
*Wow, Tyrone’s my new favorite secondary character.
-Narration: Meanwhile, Takeshi was searching for the pledgemaster ‘Dark Playa’ when he heard a groaning sound near a dorm room. He put his ear near the door. "“Sounds like I’ve found our man!” he said. Takeshi kicked down the door and proceeded to untie ‘Dark Playa’ and get him to safety.
*I thought Vixen’s cronies were going to soften him up. Takeshi didn’t even have to fight them off to save him?
-Narration: KuroDoberman barked, blowing his special mind-controling whistle.
Kurodoberman: “I haven’t forgotten about you four! I want to introduce to you one of my newest recruits! FRONT AND CENTER, DOGGY! WHO ARE YOU?”
Vin/Narration: “I AM THE PULSE POUNDING PADDLE WHACKING PLAYA CALLED CHOCOLATE THUNDER, SIR!” the recruit replied. The team was stunned to see Vin under KuroDoberman’s control, with a MAYHEM emblem on his leg.
*Oh so the monster’s will is Vin’s to obey after all. Evidently his will is to have Vin make an even bigger jackass of himself than usual.
-Nick: “Chocolate Thunder? You’re not Darryl Dawkins!”
*Could you save the witty banter for banter that’s actually witty?
-Narration: Vin pushed Carmen to the ground and was about to bludgeon her to death. He grinned evilly. Carmen crawled backwards in an attempt to escape.
Carmen: “Don’t do this, Vin..Please! You’re one of us! This is not you! You’re your own person! No one else can control you! Remember!”
*In a semi-competent story Vin would be saying that to Tyrone right now.
**And bludgeoning someone to death fits in so well with the pseudo-comical veneer of Vin becoming an evil frat boy who calls himself the “paddle whacking playa, Chocolate Thunder.”
-Narration: Vin had the paddle raised high but he couldn’t deliver the fatal blow. A part of his consciousness began to rise, fighting the side that was controlling him. He screamed at the top of his lungs and dropped the paddle. “Vin?” Carmen was hesitant to approach him, for fear of him grabbing her and possibly strangling her.
*She’s not afraid of anything else he might to do if she gets too close, huh? Hope I don’t blow your mind but Vin manages to shake off the monster’s control.
-Narration: In a blur, B.C. zoomed to snatch the whistle from the cybercreature. “I’ll relieve you of that, if you don’t mind!” said B.C., then proceeded to smash the whistle into pieces.
*B.C. “zoomed”? Just so we’re all on the same page, the rangers haven’t transformed yet, so to me at least that sounds like the wrong word for a normal guy running.
-Nick: “Ready, guys! Let’s do this!”
*Nick leads the change. In what sense is Vin the leader, again?
-Narration: Yellow dueled Vixen sword to sword, still miffed after her previous defeats. The evil woman punched Yellow in the stomach, then backslapped Carmen. Vixen followed with a ‘Beauti-Bolt’ in electric ground shock mode to stun her.
*I may have talked about this before, but what the heck does “electric ground shock mode mean”? I think I know from watching real Sentai (a warrior charges their sword with power then stabs it into the ground, the energy shoots to their opponent and explodes upon reaching them), but perhaps Vince could’ve described the attack in terms that make sense to people who aren’t him.
-Narration: KuroDoberman sped towards the rangers, and bounded with his hind legs to attack.
*Most Sentai monsters are two-legged, facilitated by them being men in suits. Is Vince saying Kurodoberman might bound on some other legs?
-Narration: KuroDoberman then raised the level of the paddle, still controlling RedScanner. Vin made every effort to resist his control, then fell on his knees. With all his might, RedScanner tried to get up, his legs feeling like 500 lb. weights dragging his body down.
*The monster has a back-up control device. I have to say that honestly surprised me. Not in a bad way, either.
-Narration: He was completely enthralled that the cybercreature did not notice a wired microphone coming his way. Like an anvil, the mike hit KuroDoberman square on the back of his head!
Kurodoberman: “Grrr! WHO DID THAT!”
Narration: The dog-faced monster looked up, and found a spandex-clad and caped heroine posed on the top of the building.
Danger Woman: “It’ll take only a wolf in cheap clothing to take advantage of my friends, especially RedScanner!”
*We used the “wolf in cheap clothing” joke a mere two episodes ago on an actual wolf-based monster. And is she saying some lame, ersatz menace is all that’s necessary to advantage of the Scanrangers? Not that I’ve ever been able to understand the points Danger Woman tries to make…
-Danger Woman: “I am Danger Woman! Sentai Ally to those in need! I’m here to right wrongs and to lock up stray dogs back in the kennel! And that means you! In the name of the zoo-going-”
Kurodoberman/Narration: “Ahh, shaddup!” answered KuroDoberman, responding in kind with his laser brand, shooting at DW
*Responding in kind by shooting at her?? Responding in kind to what?
-Narration: Clenching his fist, now that their sentai ally bought him some time to recover, he races with his Cinerama Cutlass in hand to slash KuroDoberman from the back.
*This is two points in a row involving the phrase “Sentai ally.” What does that mean? Ally to a Sentai? Ally to a lot of Sentai? Wouldn’t just “ally” be all right?
-Narration: The sudden attack released the paddle in the air. In response, Red with a couple of swordstrokes, destroys the demonic paddle. The MAYHEM brand on RedScanner’s leg disappears forever. In return, the Omega Alpha Omega pledges were free from the monster’s spell.
*“In return” for the monster’s paddle being destroyed, the frat boys were set free?
-Narration: As Red were about to defend himself and DW, KuroDoberman was blindsided by something else-another sword, which belonged to-
Danger Woman: “Phantom Highlander! All right!”
Vin: “As always-where there’s Danger Woman, there’s gotta be Phantom Highlander!”
Phantom Highlander: “It’s not over yet, biscuit breath! It’s enough that you’re terrorizing these poor innocent humans, but when you disrupt my Danger Woman’s entrance line, that means you’ve got to go!!”
*Great feeling knowing we’re in the hands of heroes who know what’s really important, huh?
-Narration: PH, with Red both attack with their swords, PH’s destroying KuroDoberman’s laser brand, and RedScanner’s Cutlass began powering up, using his Action Film Energy, becoming one with the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and summoning up the power of Aragorn. “CUTLASS CRASH!
*Wait. Before, Vin’s Cutlass Crash was a combination of all his old sword attacks rolled into one. Now, it’s based on sword fights from Lord of the Rings.
-Narration: The Scanranger crew was about to call out BlockBuster and WideScreener when immediately a high-pitched siren disrupted them.
*Even though Widescreener’s in the shop and they know it.
-Narration: Danger Woman and Phantom Highlander ran inside one of the buildings.
Carmen: “AAAHH!” That whistle! It’s blowing out my eardrums!”
Narration: KuroDoberman’s high-pitched dog whistle had the rangers, the entire campus, and Leewood Park at his mercy! The sound went even as far as Mt. Columbia!
Phantom Highlander: “That demon’s got a bigger set of pipes than you do, DW!”
*The whistle can be heard all the way to upstate New York (where the base is), and the guest heroes are somehow okay by running inside a nearby building. Notice they don’t grab the rangers and pull them to the relative safety of that building.
-Danger Woman: “There’s only one way, sweetheart!”
Narration: DM remembers the gift Professor Alex gave them for Christmas a couple of years ago when the Scanrangers were in dire straits against MAYHEM.
Phantom Highlander: "Excellent idea! Let’s do it!”
Narration: They raised their hands up high and shouted, “DANGER DY NA MO! PHANTOM SLINGSHOT! LAUNCH!” From her hidden headquarters, the mecha was launched, as Danger Woman and Phantom Highlander jumped into their cockpits.
*Excellent idea? Can these two read each other’s minds? She didn’t actually say what she had planned. And again they can do this despite being in a building with a monster outside who’s making noise that can be heard in upstate New York.
-Narration: The two robots confront the giant KuroDoberman, still blowing the whistle. The rangers attempt to buy the two some time by distracting the monster as well.
Toni: “We’ve got to try to stall that dog, guys! I know it’s hard, but DW’s depending on us!”
Somebody/Narration: “Right! Let’s bring our weapons together!” The Scanrangers each pull out their Film weapons, Red’s Cinerama Cutlass, Blue’s Speed-Bo Staff, Pink’s Movie Splicer Shield, Green’s Disc Launcher, Yellow’s Valkyrie Vancer, and Silver’s MagnumSaber.
They form the CineMasher once again!
Vin/Narration: “Aim for that blasted giant whistle!” said Red. They all shout, “ACTIVATE CINEMASHER! BY DELUXE!” The combined arsenal zoomed up to the whistle, and on impact, destroys it!
*Why do they have to stall it? I mean, the whistle doesn’t seem to be doing anything to the guest heroes now that their robots are there, and the rangers can talk to each other and use the Cinemasher despite the alleged amount of noise. I just want to know what I’m supposed to think!
**Since when is Takehi’s weapon part of the Cinemasher, anyway?
-Narration: Dy Na Mo uses her tractor beam to put KuroDoberman in place. Her mecha opens up, displaying a giant sub-woofer.
Danger Woman: “Time to face the music, dog! SUPER DANGER KARAOKE MICROPHONE!” She loads in a CD and begins to sing a very popular Baha Men song.
“WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!”
*Do I have to say anything about this?
-Phantom Highlander: “The Scanrangers helped us by smashing that whistle to pieces!”
*I guess. The people in the story seem pretty convinced it needed to be done.
-Somebody: “Right! Let’s unite!
Narration: The Dy Na Mo leaped into the air, as does the Slingshot. PH’s mecha separates and attaches onto DM’s mecha, now towers over the monster.
B.C.: “I don’t know about you, but it looks like for once, we’ve been upstaged!
*Of course it towers over the monster.
**Poor blue baby. Don’t like sharing your spotlight? The way I’ve got this understood, they probably could’ve called Blockbuster after they got rid of the whistle, they just didn’t.
-Narration: KuroDoberman ran towards the combined gestalt, which gave it the opportunity to call up..
*Combined gestalt, indeed. There’s redundant, and then there’s Scanranger.
-Narration: “DY NA MO SUPER SINGING SWORD!” Riding on a beam of light, which was similar to a bed of sheet music, they surf and with one sword stroke, slashes through the monster, and seconds later, KuroDoberman falls and explodes!
*And there you go, Danger Woman and Phantom Highlander killed the giant monster without the Scanrangers having to bring in any of their own heavy artillery. Now I’m gonna talk about the failure of the mecha maintenance subplot.
**I don’t think it’s a bad idea. Suddenly the Scanrangers are without half of their robots because they need to go in for a 50,000 mile inspection. That’s a fine opportunity for some worry over what they’ll do if a really strong monster attacks. It’s short-circuited by several niggling issues.
1) I already talked about how the Scanrangers react when they find out it’s happening and how silly that was. If they’re comparing their adventures to what happens in actual Sentai shows, it’s suspicious how the only time they do that is when the robots need an oil change. What about…
2) Before the story even begins, we know the Scanrangers are getting reinforcements. I remembered Danger Woman and Phantom Highlander getting their own robots as Christmas presents from the Scanrangers. Kind of cancels out half of the big guns being out of action. But worst of all…
3) The inoperative robots aren’t even an issue. The guest heroes kill the monster by themselves.
**This is just a thought, but it’s a sad one: what if the mecha maintenance subplot was only introduced so Vince could announce Takeshi getting a car? Which has no bearing whatever on the episode.
-Danger Woman: “Let that be a lesson to you, you Dyno-Mutt!" said DW. Never, ever interrupt my lines again!”
*We’re supposed to like these characters, right? Because I’m sorry, the light-hearted atmosphere never really came back after Vin was about to bludgeon Carmen to death.
-Nick: “Thanks, DW! We couldn’t have done it without you!”
*Oh come on. Sure, be grateful for their help, but don’t try to tell me this isn’t something the Scanrangers couldn’t have handled on their own.
-B.C.: “Hey! Dy Na Mo! Slingshot! Thanks a lot!”
*Thanks, inanimate robots whose pilots we just thanked!
-Danger Woman: “It was our pleasure! You know to call us again anytime!”
*Despite the fact that the only possible time they could’ve ever called her was to attend Peter’s funeral. She always comes on her own.
-Danger Woman: “By the way, say hello to the first YellowScanner for me!”
Carmen: “You know about him?”
*Is that a surprise? The senior Scanrangers had obviously met these two before.
-Danger Woman: “Of course..Kunio has a story to tell you about how we joined up to defeat MAYHEM before!”
*But he won’t, cuz evidently they only talk about past adventure when Jetman’s around.
-Narration: The next evening, Vin and the gang watch his friend Tyrone get down in a special ‘stepping show’ during halftime at the basketball game. After the show, Vin goes to see him.
Vin: “I believe congrats are in order, my brother..”
Tyrone: “Thanks, bro..It was well worth the hard work..I’m glad you were able to talk me out of joining that other demonic frat..It disappeared without a trace after the Scanrangers exposed it.”
*Vin talked Tyrone out of joining the evil fraternity? No he didn’t, Tyrone was one of the pledges running around attacking. He knocked B.C. flying with a paddle.
**OAO existed before Vixen decided to take it over, and it just disappeared without a trace after evil was thwarted? Sounds like this is actually the ending to an earlier version of this episode.
-Vin: “The Scanrangers, huh? Good for them..At least someone’s being a watchdog looking over the morals of this campus.”
Tyrone: “Yo, Vin..Whatever you do, let’s not mention ‘dog’ for awhile..I’m getting some bad dreams about some Doberman or rotweiller attacking me and the fellows, know what I’m saying?”
*I understand it’s just a “comical” set-up for Tyrone’s aversion to hearing about dogs, but don’t set the Scanrangers up as “watchdogs” of morals if you please, Vince. Just the idea of them being my first and last line of defense against evil aliens is bad enough, the idea that they’ll be telling people what’s right and wrong is just offensive. Especially with the stupid things they usually get worked up about, namely Haim Saban.
**Bad dreams? Does Tyrone remember attacking a bunch of people while under the monster’s power or is it one of those fuzzy memories victims can’t quite place after the day’s been saved? The amazing disappearing frat house he just mentioned implies the former, and if Tyrone doesn’t remember I bet he’s going to be wondering at the nasty looks the people he attacked are gonna be giving him.
-Vin: “My fault, Ty..Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do..”
Tyrone: “You know I will, Vin Man..you know I will..”
*Are confusing send-offs going to be a trend?
-Preview: In our next Scanranger adventure, the team takes some time off to unwind and relax. They look back on the great victories and even some small setbacks that molded them into the team they are now..
*Small setbacks, huh? Vince tries to play up this same feeling of overall awesomeness when we get to the ending of the next episode, so I’ll rant then.
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish.
Edited by - hk6909 on 09/26/2009 07:58:16 AM
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Posted - 08/29/2009 : 07:32:35 AM
| Episode 35-Winter Interlude-A Day in the Life Of..
Summary: It’s the clip show where the characters look back on what’s happened to bring them this far. I’m not kidding, there’s a clip show in a written story.
Rating: J for most, JJJJ for B.C.’s section
-I know, is there no pleasing this guy, but in every case I can think of these clip filler episodes always occur in the lull after the team strikes a major blow against the villains. Stopping a monster whose greatest misdeed was causing frat brothers to start food fights, even with the help of guest heroes, doesn’t exactly fit the bill.
-Narration: Another day in Leewood Park. Carmen was in her dorm room gazing up at the ceiling. She was amazed about the turn of events that occured when she discovered she had the powers of a Scanranger.
*Still? Read the next rant.
-Narration: She began writing in her personal diary. "It's a quiet mid-winter day, and MAYHEM hasn't attacked in months, which was somewhat weird.”
*I only have a rough grasp of the story’s timeline and I can tell you with certainty that statement is wrong, wrong, wrong. They go months between attacks all the time. Bearing that in mind, Carmen’s still amazed at everything that’s happened?
-Narration: Mikey showed her the example how she went ahead of herself to finish off KuroLobo before RedScanner was about to set up the Scanranger finish. KuroLobo tripped her, made his escape, until she learned from her situation by working as a team; the same motto Professor Alex encouraged from the team.
*She remembers back to ep. 32. Yes that was the intended message, but I still say anyone who reads the whole thing will be hard-pressed to think the Scanrangers actually practiced it.
-Carmen: “For some reason, I'm sort of beginning to have feelings for this Japanese kid. What was that thing Charlie Brown once called it? Unrequited love? Yes, that was probably it..”
*I get the feeling “unrequited” is another one of those words Vince thinks means something other than what it actually does. The way he uses it, it seems to mean something like “boundless.” According to my dictionary, “unrequited” means “unreturned.” The reason Kunio looked out for her so much was because he was crazy about her. Her feelings aren’t unreturned by any stretch of the imagination. I didn’t say anything before now because when Vince used “unrequited love” to describe how Kunio felt about Carmen, she was still being portrayed as an ice queen so it was right.
**Then again by the next time Kunio makes a significant contribution to an episode he seems to have moved on and is said to be interested in another girl.
-Narration/Carmen, maybe: She thought about the times Mikey had sort of flirted with her, from the times he was talking to her in class, to the library incident, as well as the concert with the Main Street Men. “Even the time when Blackorg had kidnapped her and used her as bait to call out the Scanrangers. The guy was risking life and limb to rescue me, an unknown at the time..”
*Why did the person change from third to first between those two lines of dialogue? Did Vince accidentally insert the quotation a sentence before he should’ve?
-Narration: Carmen as YellowScanner remembered the personal duel she had with the warrior woman..
*That’s a strange way to put it. Carmen isn’t in her Yellowscanner get-up as she has her flashback and she’s thinking back to a fight before she became Yellowscanner.
-Carmen: “Somehow, I must find out who she really is, and avenge Kunio, no matter what the cost..”
*Funny how when she figures out who Vixen’s disguised as and Kunio really needs her help, Carmen doesn’t make the slightest move to intervene.
-Vin: “The name on my birth certificate says Vin Furamatsu Henderson.. I'm also known as Vin Harlock..People think me crazy because I wanted to change my last name, or that I held on to it since I loved watching samurai movies years ago, and that my dad served overseas in Okinawa..I never realized he himself would be into Japanese culture as much as I would..”
*Vin reminisces on people mocking him for naming himself after Captain Harlock. People who DO NOT understand that it’s okay to be comfortable with who you are, no doubt. I DO understand, though: I like tokusatsu, anime, samurai movies, Zorro, and Errol Flynn just like Vin, and even I know why that’s the one thing you never saw someone being ridiculed for on The Daily Show. Imagine I walk up to you and say “Hi, my name’s Steve Goku. Like the Dragonball character.” What did he expect? He already has a first same that sounds like he changed it to be cool. Seriously Vin, I don’t care what cartoon character you’re naming yourself after. You’re asking people to think you’re a dumbass.
**By the way, what’s so surprising about his dad loving Japanese culture? What we’ve heard about Vin’s parents makes them out as glowing examples of the human race, and it’s hard to imagine people like that, who could produce such a fine son as Vin no less, to be closed-minded to foreign customs. Especially if, based on his middle name, it’s where Vin Sr. met Vin’s mother.
-Narration: He thought about aside the Japanese counterparts B.C. and Mikey showed him in watching Japanese tokusatsu shows,and the comparison in the so-called American shows that appeared a year later. Vin reflects on the day he met Ryu Tendo, the enigmatic leader of the Chojin Sentai Jetman team. How he was able to overcome challenges within and without his team.
*What’s he trying to say in that first sentence? A reminder that Power Rangers isn’t the original show? As for the rest of the narration, I remember when Vin met Ryu too. And how it sure seemed like Ryu was the one learning from Vin.
**I wouldn’t call Ryu “enigmatic,” either. Aloof, maybe. If he seemed secretive it was more because he didn’t see why he should burden those around him with his personal problems. As opposed to Vin, who doesn’t burden others because he’s perfect and doesn’t have problems.
-Rosewood: “What's going on, dude?"
Vin: "Not much, man..It's been more than a year, being on campus, balancing my schedule between classes and saving the world. Sometimes I feel though the fact that I'm the 'more mature and serious' team member, that I don't have time for fun, just like B.C., Toni, or even Nick.."
Rosewood: "You shouldn't be..How else you'd be chosen for this team?" Think on the times your leadership sparked the others to fight and to feel proud about being a real hero..I mean, you keep your emotions in check during battle, not going nuts or overconfident..You're the heart and soul of the team."
*No kidding it’s been more than a year.
**Yeah, Rosewood, what would the Scanrangers do without someone around to say “Pick a bad guy and fight them”? I thought the problem was Vin was worried about being called upon to be so serious he can’t enjoy himself anymore.
-Narration: Rosewood reminded him of the time how Vin encouraged Tyrone to get involved in campus activities in the previous episode, and as RedScanner, how he gathered the team, who only knew of each other by name in Film Appreciation 222-and battling MAYHEM's first cybercreature, KuroOctopus;where it all started for the Movie task force.
*The story that dares to tell you about what characters tell each other! What is this, The Creeping Terror all of a sudden? Also this paragraph tries to make Vin out as a great leader by saying none of the rangers knew each other before their first fight. I reread the first episode not that long ago to do its dissection and the proto-Scanrangers didn’t seem that unfamiliar with each other. They’ve had very few issues getting along, and most that come up do so as a result of B.C. being a half-cocked emotional midget (which, of course, nobody on their side of the screen notices). Besides, when a monster was kicking their butt, Vin’s decision to take a gamble on a device that would supposedly give them super powers was hardly strategic brilliance.
**And it’s exactly what Jason Scott did in Vin’s place years before.
-Flashback Nick: “What the heck is that?”
Flashback Narration: Before Nick could finish his sentence, the CyberCreature attacks again, its tenacles swinging, knocking the five out again.
*I don’t feel any need to point out the mistakes in the flashbacks all over again, which will probably make this a short dissection, but it’s worrying Vince still doesn’t seem to know they’re there.
-Rosewood: “Considering the styles of the various 'Super Sentai' leaders formed al over the world, it's an honor for a person from an urban background to be leading a team like this.."
*I’m gonna address two points here, the first of which is what’s so honorable about somebody from a background like Vin’s being the leader of a Sentai? He’s from The Streets, but how do they know that’s rare for red rangers? Wouldn’t exactly call it the norm for the audience to learn every bleeding detail of a hero’s life in Sentai. And let’s not get excited about being on a team where the only thing any of them had to do to make the cut was get an A in Film Appreciation 222.
**The second, smaller point is what Sentai from all over the world is Rosewood talking about? I presume Power Rangers doesn’t count, but aside from that pretty much all the Sentai are in Japan. Maybe it’s a throwaway line I’m not supposed to examine, but with how Scanranger loves, loves, loves to reference TV shows and movies, do you see where I might have trouble with the idea it was something I wasn’t meant to think about?
-Rosewood: “Now, the big question is, do you remember what did you do for fun?"
Vin: "Ummm..watching classic swashbuckling movies, and some occasional Japanese movies that are dubbed into English.."
Rosewood/Narration: "It's a start.." Rosewood then pulls up a couple of anime tapes and a classic Kurosawa film; The Seven Samurai. Vin then kicks back and relaxes.
*So the answer to Vin’s supposed problem of not being able to enjoy himself because of his various responsibilities is, I guess, that because he’s a Scanranger he’s REQUIRED to kick back and watch his favorite movies every once in a while. If that’s what Vince intended I have to say that’s actually kind of amusing.
--Kunio and Takeshi
-Putting Kunio and Takeshi in the same section and the unbreakable bonds of friendship that are supposed to exist between them would make you think they’re going to be addressed together, wouldn’t it? Well, you’d be wrong.
-Takeshi: “These guys went out of their way to help me in countless battles, and I theirs.." though Takeshi.
*THEY helped HIM in countless battles? Once again, the sixth member in these shows often shows up to save the others from certain death in the nick of time. Takeshi is no exception.
-Narration: Mikey's rehabilitation seemed to be going well.
*Seemed. SEEMED!! Are his bones healing? Is he walking better? He’s almost out of physical therapy two episodes down the line, I’d say it definitely is going well.
-Alex: “A penny for your thoughts, Kunio.."
Kunio: "Nothing, Profess..Just occasionally wished now I was back on the battlefield helping the team.."
Alex: "You still are, Kunio.. I know that Carmen tends to be very spoiled and somewhat overconfident at times, but she'll learn, and you've been patient enough to train her.."
*Training a replacement isn’t being on the battlefield, dear teacher.
-Narration: Mikey looked out the window of Mt. Columbia, and was now pondering on what he could do, aside from concentrating on his studies back at CJU.
*Get the feeling the writer was thinking similar things about what to do with Kunio, who more or less instantly sank to the level of inconsequence as characters like Sarita and Rosewood the minute Carmen started wearing his yellow suit.
-Toni: She was checking out the latest MTV videos(what's left of on the channel), practicing different ways on upgrading her abilities on the battlefield.
*Upgrading how? Making new attacks?
-Narration: Apparently, her overprotective parents initially didn't approve of her going to the States, much less majoring in dance, and so far away from the Phillipine islands. Yet, in spite of their disagreements, Toni made a point to call them at least once a week.
*Yes, apparently. Vince, these are people who should know for sure.
-Narration:Toni then heard a knock on her dorm room, and answers it.
Toni: "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?"
Narration: Toni was stunned to see two members of the Main Street Men pop up on the campus. "How's it going, Toni?" said Jason Jefferson, the lead singer of the group, alongside Garry, their manager.
*Their manager’s a member of the band? Philistine that I am, I never thought it worked that way.
-Mighty Manager: "We've thought we'd drop by for a brief social call. "Actually, the crew's in town to shoot our newest video-" said Garry.
Toni: "Say no more! You just have to ask.."
Mighty Manager: “I tell you, lady..You know how to drive a hard bargain..I just can't thank you guys enough for covering us when you freed us from MAYHEM's clutches.." Narration: Toni reflected back on the day she was the MSM's unofficial choreographer.
Toni: “That was indeed a blast..Give me another half hour and I'll be ready.."
*So…what’s happening? Is Toni going to choreograph their new video? Is Kunio’s doppleganger asking what the hell they think they’re doing to his image by giving Carmen a spot on the team? Thanks a lot for cutting them off, Toni. These questions will never answered.
-Nick: “In the words of Neo..'Whoa’”
*He’s quoting someone for saying ‘whoa.’ That about speaks for itself.
-Narration: At first, Nick somwewhat felt insecure himself due to him being the only one on the team without any real martial art skill.
*I know, what am I, a psychiatrist, but Nick had adequacy issues because he doesn’t know martial arts? He’s a super genius, the strong guy (he uses wrestling, that makes him the strong one), a good enough leader to be second in command (and to my memory has done more leading than the actual leader), seems as capable a fighter as anyone else, and has the most versatile powers. Which, incidentally, let him learn martial arts anytime he wants by tapping the dojo scene from The Matrix. What useful skills do the other Scanrangers have besides the ones all of them have? Vin’s a fencer. That’s it.
-Narration: That changed somehow when he was given extra power from the alien Futurai who brought him back to life…After the ambush by Benedict's Brigade, as well as his 'resurrection'and power up, Nick felt more confident than ever, and still was content on having his wrestling skills.
*Number one, he wasn’t dead, he was in a coma. Number two, his confidence improved not because he learned how capable he really was, but because an alien gave him a power-up on a silver platter. Your characters have truly grown and matured, Vince.
-Narration/B.C.: Our blue ranger was thumbing through a digest book full of the Japanese 'Super Sentai' that saved the world over throughout the twenty-five plus years. "At least it didn't talk about what the North Americans did throughout the past ten-" he thought, then speaking too soon seeing the West had 'adapted' the 'Super Sentai' model and changed them into multi-cultural teens.
*WHAT happened? Where is this “multi-cultural teens” awareness coming from? Surely B.C. knew about the existence of Power Rangers well before now. Is it in the book B.C.’s reading? Admittedly that’s likely, as from what I understand Sentai digest books talk about the Power Ranger versions too nowadays. Why is the reader (of Scanranger, that is) left to intuit that on their own, though? Maybe they’ve never read a Sentai digest book. The cherry on the sundae is the seeming ignorance that the heroes of Scanranger are a band of multi-cultural youths themselves. Especially after one of the three Japanese guys on the team was recently replaced by someone representing an ethnicity previously unseen in the team’s ranks.
-B.C.: “Why can't they at least keep the same bad guys instead of creating their own? A humanoid with a dinosaur head instead of a little girl possessed by an evil spirit? It definitely won't play in Peoria..”
*B.C. complains about Power Rangers making up new villains for the watered-down American version of Bakuryu Sentai Abaranger. Specifically the choice to replace the main villain, a little girl possessed by an evil force, with a grown man who turns into an evil dino-man. Does it occur to him (or more pertinently, to Vince), that the change probably wasn’t made to spite people who dislike Power Rangers already anyway? Maybe having a child around all the time didn’t prove feasible (hell, having Jason Frank around didn’t prove feasible). Maybe in redoing the story they found it necessary to reimagine the villains (and say what you will about Abaranger, the plot was not one of its strengths). To me, the most likely story is they thought having an antagonist so close in age to their target audience might hit a little too close to home. After all, who’s scarier, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, or The Children of the Damned? And think about how the moral guardians would’ve descended on Disney like a ton of bricks if they heard there was a character that sounded like she’d just stepped out of The Exorcist on a show aimed at kids ten and under.
**The simple fact is that Japan and America have radically different ideas of what’s okay for kids. Hence why in Japanese superhero shows they’re not afraid to show the heroes bandaged and bleeding after getting the snot beat out of them and killing characters off if actors are no longer available. Chances are you won’t hear about either happening to a Power Ranger. And I’ll be hogtied if that’s not at least part of the reason why Ultraman’s conversation with Zoffy, about his willingness to die that Hayata might live, was changed for the American version. So even if some arrangement was made to air tokusatsu in the USA without wrapping a new show around the fight scenes, we still wouldn’t get a completely faithful adaptation (I haven’t even talked about downplaying Japanese culture). Because as true as it may be that most American fans of unfiltered tokusatsu are in their teens on up, these shows were and always have been made for the younger set.
**What makes this line of thought really stupid is that back in “And Voodoo To You Too,” a Scanranger was in fact championing the cause of censorship for imported TV shows. Do you remember who it was? If you said B.C., the guy complaining here, you’re right. And he thinks the same delicate kids who aren’t ready to learn about “death” wouldn’t be the least bit disturbed by an innocent preteen girl being the puppet of a demonic entity. Wonder how he felt about Trent having an evil clone instead of being a borderline psychopath like his Abranger counterpart.
-Narration: B.C. created a scene where the North American made villains tried to attack his girlfriend, Kimiko. He dreamed of his Ako Hayasaka look-alike being pursued by the aforementioned Saban/Disney created adversaries, which included Lord Zedd, Divatox, Trakeena, Lothor, and the recent American-made villain who called himself Mesogog, along with his henchwoman in black leather, Elsa.
*B.C. retreats to his happy place to cope with the horrific realization that Disney thought Mesogog was a more workable villain than Regan MacNeil. Just…yikes.
-Kimiko: “HELP ME! LET ME GO! SOMEONE! ANYONE! HELP! SAVE ME!" cried Kimiko.
Mesogog: "Stop your struggling, girl!" snarled Mesogog, carrying Kimiko over his shoulder. "I, Mesogog, have decided to marry you and make you my queen! Ha ha ha!"
B.C.: "In the immortal words of Raiden, I don't think so!" replied BlueScanner stoicly with hands folded and very confident, confronting the dinosaur-faced human.
*Is Vince quoting lame, generic lines on purpose?
-B.C.: “Do not look up.."
Narration: Lord Zedd looked up, and the last thing he saw was a giant anvil about to smash him, which does. The evil alien crawled out, nearly flattened like a pancake. He collapsed in a daze. Instead of seeing stars, he saw visions of Rita Repulsas on her tricycle dancing in his head.
*Why I agreed to go for a stroll in B.C.’s psyche I will never know.
-Narration/Lothor: Lothor tried to zap Blue. "Stand still, you clown! I've got a group of rangers to destroy and take over!" Force beams blasted from the evil ninja's hand.
B.C.: "Hey! I resemble that remark!And it takes one to know one, too!”
Narration: Somehow B.C. appeared in his civilian form. Taking advantage of the fact the villains did not know his secret identity, he struck up a conversation with the Sensei's brother.
B.C.: "By the way, how many of those Thunder rangers you're supposed to kil- I mean destroy?"
*Once again, B.C. was the one saying you can’t use the word “die” in kids’ shows in this country. Here he seems to be mocking censorship like that.
-Narration/B.C.: The B.C. alongside BlueScanner phased out. "Borrowed one of GreenScanner's Holo-Clones, who posed as yours truly..Don't leave home without it!"
*Thus explaining how B.C. and Bluescanner could be in the same place at the same time. Dude, this is your stupid macho fantasy where everything happens however you want. Do you think you’re somehow disguising that fact by trying to explain things?
-Narration: Divatox and Trakeena was next to finish off our third in command.
Trakeena: "Now, Divatox! Suround him! He can't escape our final punishment!" said the insect-like warrior woman.
Narration/B.C.: Blue feigned helplessness. "NO! No escape from these wicked women! Heavens!Woe is me! What ever shall I do?"
*Vince, I’m gonna tell you this straight up: lots of people don’t enjoy reading amateur fiction where the writer hijacks the plot and does whatever retarded things they can think of with preexisting characters from TV shows/movies/books/what have you. That’s because it’s not fun to watch someone satisfy their juvenile whims with fictional people, which is exactly what you’re doing by devoting more than a third of the episode to this idiotic peek into B.C.’s happiest thoughts. Hell, there’s a sort of anti-fandom devoted to getting back at people who write junk like this: http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPC_Wiki
-Narration: He held on to Divatox's sword, looking at it, admiring it.
B.C.: "Pretty..shiny..shiny sword..Do you really want this weapon so badly to destroy those accursed rangers?"
Divatox/Narration: "Yes! Yes! Let me have it! Give it to me!" Blue lets Divatox have it all right, with a bunch of banana cream pies, a mallet, and a seltzer bottle! "AARGHH! MY FACE! MY FACE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
B.C./Narration: “Remember, darling..You asked for it!" B.C. proceeds to pull the lever to send Divatox and Trakeena down the trap door and into the abyss!
*We already had a vain villainess freak out at her perfect face being ruined, and that’s set to define Vixen’s choice of opponents for the rest of the story. Why is it happening again in B.C.’s fantasy? Run out of ideas for things to include in combat with female villains already, Vince?
-Narration: Mesogog's sidekick, Elsa, fell down after seeing the invincible power of the Blue Ranger..
B.C.: "THAT'S BLUESCANNER, NOT BLUE RANGER!" he said to the narrator.
Narration: Sorry about that..
*Ha ha ha! He broke the fourth wall! Incidentally, is “Blue Ranger” such an insult? It’s supposed to reflect how characters are addressed in Power Rangers, but that’s what they called the blue guy in Goranger, the first Sentai ever.
-Narration: At his mercy, he held up his FilmBlade preparing himself for the kill, and went.. "Boo!" Elsa shrieked and voluntarily pulled the lever and jumped into the abyss, never to be seen again.
*Scaring Elsa into jumping into hell rather than stabbing her is funnier…well, no it’s not, but is that really more merciful of him? I seriously get the feeling you want us not only to like B.C., but maybe like him more than the other rangers, Vince. He gets most all of the heavy emotional subplots. Unfortunately by letting us inside us head what you’ve done is shown what I’ve been saying all along: he’s an unfunny, self-centered baby.
-By the way, there’s something awfully familiar about the American villains in Dino Thunder: Mesogog is an evil being inhabiting the body of an old colleague of the team’s mentor, just like Blackorg, and Elsa wears leather and has a job at the rangers’ school to spy on them, just like Vixen! (Scanranger had both of those before Dino Thunder) They say imitation’s the most sincere form of flattery (and based on the number of premises he’s, ahem, homaged from Jetman, Vince thinks so too). Sounds like you have a lot to be flattered about, Mr. Jones. (No I don’t think the similarities are deliberate. You have to admit it’s funny though that the comparisons can be drawn to a story where the writer’s essentially whining about the existence of characters who happen to be so similar to his own and doesn’t notice the similarity)
-Narration: B.C had a smile on his face, giving invisible kisses in the air. Nick then approached him. Nick in his usual custom, smacks him in the back of the head. "Wake up, sleepy head!" B.C's dream had ended.
B.C.: "One day, I kid you not, you're gonna end up with an anvil on your head! Better look before you leap next time!"
*And here is, threatening to drop an anvil on his own best friend’s head. No he probably wouldn’t actually do it, but it does nothing to erase the memory of what we just saw.
-Toni: “It's been an interesting year..”
*As long as you’re not suddenly trying to say that’s how long it’s been since the beginning of the story.
-Takeshi: “The war still goes on, and we'll win as long as there are Super Sentai type guys like us..”
*We’ll win as long are there are guys like us?? When you say “we’ll win” do you mean you guys specifically or the human race in general?
-B.C.: B.C. went like one of the announcers doing a car commercial with the disclaimer. Going a mile a minute, he says,"Power Rangers, Mesogog, Trakeena, Divatox, Lothor and all related logos, characters, names, and distinctive likenesses are TM and © 2004 by BVS Entertainment.
Vin: "Just to make sure there's no copyright infringement, people.."
*I’m not an expert on the laws regarding this kind of thing, but I have it on good authority that unless you have it in writing the company says you can use their trademark, even slapping on a disclaimer like that isn’t a shield against being sued. I’m not saying I think a summons is in Vince Jones’s future over Scanranger. The reason people like him are allowed to do what they do is there’s a difference between being able to litigate over copyright infringement and caring enough to go after every single minor offender. Especially ones who do more damage to themselves than to big corporate entities. Sorry Vince, you’re not worth Disney’s time.
**I’m mostly curious about why Vince does this when he spends a large portion of the episode maligning Power Rangers, but has never made a disclaimer for any of the countless other properties he’s referenced. Does the fact that he attempted to portray, say, Jetman or Captain Blood in a favorable light mean he doesn’t think Toei or whoever will care about him using those properties however he pleases? Or is it to add a touch of surrealism to the episode? On the off-chance there’s someone who might think this is meant to be humorous, let me just ask how the hell legal text is supposed to be funny.
-Narration: With much to learn from relationships with each other and their colleagues in saving the world, they look forward to more action, adventure and fun!
*Does that last part sound wrong to anyone else? Kunio’s been crippled (he’s in a wheelchair in this scene), Nick’s been beaten into a coma and Takeshi was left for dead for three weeks before they finally got off their cans to look for him. To say nothing of what happened to Peter and who knows how many faceless extras. These guys ought to have had the idea of fighting aliens being “fun” beaten out of them a long time ago.
-Preview: In our next Scanranger adventure, the team goes back out on the road for R & R, and a rousing game of paintball!
*A rousing game of paintball, huh? Do you know what R & R stands for, Vince Jones? Probably not, because it stands for rest and relaxation.
Now we know what the south's gonna do again, get eaten by a huge fish.
Edited by - hk6909 on 10/12/2009 09:50:02 AM