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Offramp
Altar Boy of Jabootu
8 Posts |
 Posted - 07/12/2006 : 4:53:03 PM
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There are some films that I have watched that have been critically and financially successful but which I personally have hated.
I love almost all the Coen Brothers stuff, but I thought both O Brother Where Art Thou? was a bit tedious and riddled with plot holes. And I thought The Ladykillers was about one tenth as good as the original. I could barely watch it. Tom Hanks!?!
Spiderman 2 was a colossal yawn. Prolix! If I want Ingmar Bergman yackity I'll go to Woody Allen. Superhero films should be 80% action, not 80% soul-searching.
American Pie - that's my fault. Why did I watch it? I think I can easily say that I have seen every single joke and situation in that film at least once before.
I had an unusual problem with The Shawshank Redemption. I knew it was based on a Stephen King short story and throughout the film I was waiting for the moronic Tim Robbins character to start curing people miraculously. But even when I found out I had made a mistake with The Green Mile I still detested the film. Why has it become so popular? It truly boggles my mind.
On the other hand, when I first saw Mulholland Dr I was ready to kick the telly screen in; now, like many people, I love it. |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2006 : 5:53:50 PM
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Bad?? Successful?? Two words, buddy: Devlin/Emmerich! Between crapfests like Day After Tomorrow (which really needs a Jabootu review), Godzilla and Independence Day they have made billions on true offal.
Now, if it's movies I hate that everyone else seems to love, one would be Harold And Maude. I admit as an impressionable youth I liked the movie. I tried to watch it when the DVD came out and just wanted to stab forks in my eyes so I couldn't see it anymore. Another is Sound Of Music- there, I said it. And not because it's a musical. There are OK musicals out there. Because it's maudlin and stupid, not to mention a complete lie, and the music is awful. Utterly irredeemably awful. Singing In The Rain- THERE'S a dang musical.
Coming soon-
Eraserhead: The Musical!! |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2006 : 10:24:02 PM
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What about VanHellStink? Oh, you probably know it as the Hugh Jackman movie Vanhelsing. The former is my pet name for it.
I was really underwhelmed by this one. I reached a point about halfway through where I swore that if another character swooped across the screen on a rope (not a wire, like in Hong Kong movies), I was going to leave the theater.
Well, they did, but I didn't. My God, they even had Frankenstein's monster swooping across a chasm on a rope. Why couldn't they have most of the cast instead dangling from a rope? One of those movies where you wish you'd brought something to read so the evening wouldn't be a total loss.
My second nomination is actually a movie I put my foot down and swore I'd never watch. It was critically acclaimed. Modestly successful. Edward Scissorhands.
I remember seeing the trailor for this one. I was nearly dumbstruck by the ridiculous premise. After the requisite Tim Burton "breathy" boy's choir soundtrack music there was a blissful moment of silence in the crowded theater in which I took advantage and said loudly, "Well that just looks like the dumbest movie ever made!"
That got a pretty good laugh from the entire theater.
Batman Returns, with Danny DeVito as The Penguin. Really, I hated all the Batman movies after the first one and before Batman Begins, but Batman Returns was the harbinger of mediocrity.
Getting really tired of villains I could defeat with nothing more than proper sight alignment and trigger squeeze. This was just a horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible movie. That scene where DeVito is down in the sewer and his getaway vehicle is a giant rubber duck? Soon to be followed by an army of penguins armed with guided missiles. Campy. Just so darn campy.
I was actually rooting for the "Shreck" character played by Christopher Walken at the end. Each shot he fired into Catwoman was like a burst of sunshine. I was thinking, "Go! Go you evil man! Kill these mediocre costumed idiots. Don't waste all your shots on her. Save one or two for Batman and make sure you aim for his teeth. You are the only redeeming thing in this movie."
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Edited by - Citizen Carrier on 07/14/2006 10:34:40 PM |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2006 : 10:32:17 PM
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Ooooh, Scissorhands! Good one! And on that note- E. freakin' T.! I imagine that ought to count considering it was the most successful film ever made for a time, wasn't it?? Total schmaltzy crap.
Coming soon-
Eraserhead: The Musical!! |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2006 : 10:39:38 PM
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What was bad about E.T. was the premise that the first thing our government would want to do upon meeting an alien life would be to kill it and dissect it.
Just the message for our youngsters. The government and the Army is evil. |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2006 : 12:21:01 PM
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Hmm. Thought of another one. Pearl Harbor.
I call this a "Titanicized" movie. Where they wrap of love story around a cataclysmic event so that the movie will appeal to women and men alike.
They had the money and the opportunity to actually TELL the story of the attack on Pearl Harbor and the events leading up to it. To actually INFORM while ENTERTAINING.
They blew it.
The story of the attack is dramatic enough without throwing in some insipid love triangle. Such a missed opportunity. Damn you, Bruckheimer! You blew it all it up! Damn you to hell!
Is Milius dead or something? He is the go to guy for an epic idea like this. |
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jackspencerjr
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
262 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2006 : 4:41:23 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Citizen Carrier
Is Milius dead or something?
[url="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0801820/"]No, but you might wish he was after reading this.[/url] |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2006 : 6:17:02 PM
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| I'm willing to credit whatever it is in that movie that doesn't stink to Milius. |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2006 : 7:50:34 PM
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I'd say when he finds out about it Milius will probably deal with the situation himself. *g*
Coming soon-
Eraserhead: The Musical!! |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2006 : 8:36:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by jackspencerjr
quote:
Originally posted by Citizen Carrier
Is Milius dead or something?
[url="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0801820/"]No, but you might wish he was after reading this.[/url]
I'd say that someone was kidding, but there was a comicbook called "Gail Force" or something that tore up the OZ series.
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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jackspencerjr
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
262 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2006 : 8:46:17 PM
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| actually, it sounds like it might be just part of the grand tradition of films like Zardoz, My Fellow Americans, the cable show OZ and others that uses Wizards of OZ a a source of literary allusions, the way Christ Symbolization is used in things like Old Man and the Sea and the Outsiders. |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2006 : 2:34:31 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Citizen Carrier
What was bad about E.T. was the premise that the first thing our government would want to do upon meeting an alien life would be to kill it and dissect it.
Just the message for our youngsters. The government and the Army is evil.
Yeah, kill and dissect a representitive of a technologicly superior culture that could nuke us with impunity...what ultra-maroons!
In fact, wasen't there a New Outer Limets with that plot? Robert Foxworth as the U.S. Prez?....And maby a T.V. movie?...
"Cole, stop handing Dr. Doom the Keys to the Baxter building." Brent Sienna/PvP.
"I speak 34 different languages. But gibberish is not one of them."- Danger Mouse.
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2006 : 6:09:17 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by jackspencerjr
actually, it sounds like it might be just part of the grand tradition of films like Zardoz, My Fellow Americans, the cable show OZ and others that uses Wizards of OZ a a source of literary allusions, the way Christ Symbolization is used in things like Old Man and the Sea and the Outsiders.
Ohhh, you mean like WIZARD OF MARS.
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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tam1MI
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
558 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2006 : 9:51:07 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Citizen Carrier
Batman Returns, with Danny DeVito as The Penguin. Really, I hated all the Batman movies after the first one and before Batman Begins, but Batman Returns was the harbinger of mediocrity.
I'm with you, except I hated the first one as well.
The hugely successful film I remember loathing every second of it I saw was ARMAGEDDON. It was so stupid and incoherent, and wasted the talents of so many fine actors, that I practically wanted to hunt Michael Bay down and demand the two hours of my life he stole back, plus two extra hours for the pain and suffering. And to this day I have to restrain myself from doing violence whenever the M. Night Syalaman fanboys start raving on and on about the "subtle imagery", "inteliigent scrip" (hah!), and "beautiful metaphysical message" of SIGNS. That movie was almost offensive in it's stupidity.
The well-reviewed, critically garlanded movie I saw that I was shocked at how bad it really was has to be THE DEER HUNTER. Watching this three hour extravaganza of idiocy piled on cliche piled on pseudo-profundity piled on Hollywood tripe, I simply couldn't believe that this film had not only been praised to the high heavens but just about every movie critic alive at the time, but also loaded up with Oscars galore (including the big kahuna Best Picture statue). Although watching it did help to clarify to me just how HEAVEN'S GATE managed to come about... |
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Gristle McThornbody
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
Germany
186 Posts |
Posted - 07/25/2006 : 12:13:25 PM
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quote:
The well-reviewed, critically garlanded movie I saw that I was shocked at how bad it really was has to be THE DEER HUNTER. Watching this three hour extravaganza of idiocy piled on cliche piled on pseudo-profundity piled on Hollywood tripe, I simply couldn't believe that this film had not only been praised to the high heavens but just about every movie critic alive at the time, but also loaded up with Oscars galore (including the big kahuna Best Picture statue). Although watching it did help to clarify to me just how HEAVEN'S GATE managed to come about...
Finally, there's someone else; I'm not alone in disliking The Deer Hunter. I've always felt that it could've been a decent movie, if only a film technique known as "editing" had been employed. Just because you shot the footage, doesn't mean it must be used in the final product.
For example, did it really need a 45-minute wedding scene to establish to the audience the relationships among the friends, and that they care about each other, and have small-town lives but world-sized hearts? Seriously, Mikey, editing works wonders.
And I'm a person that loves a long film, as long as it's a good one. The Right Stuff or LoTR? Three hours flies right by as the story holds me enrapt. The Deer Hunter? After a few minutes, I suddenly remember that I have socks that need folding.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!" |
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Mark Hawley
Minister of the Sacraments of Jabootu
Canada
48 Posts |
Posted - 07/25/2006 : 8:09:05 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Flangepart
quote:
Originally posted by Citizen Carrier
What was bad about E.T. was the premise that the first thing our government would want to do upon meeting an alien life would be to kill it and dissect it.
Just the message for our youngsters. The government and the Army is evil.
Yeah, kill and dissect a representitive of a technologicly superior culture that could nuke us with impunity...what ultra-maroons!
In fact, wasen't there a New Outer Limets with that plot? Robert Foxworth as the U.S. Prez?....And maby a T.V. movie?...
"Cole, stop handing Dr. Doom the Keys to the Baxter building." Brent Sienna/PvP.
"I speak 34 different languages. But gibberish is not one of them."- Danger Mouse.
To be fair, there's no indication any one wants to "kill" or "dissect" E.T..
When E.T. is dying, they all seem to genuinely want to save him, and seem genuinely sad when he "dies". They only initially appear to be threatening, like when we see them searching for E.T. (we never get a good look at any of their faces), or when they invade the house in spacesuits. However, once they're revealed, particularly the "Keys" character, played by Peter Coyote, they're not a threat and the Keys character seems like a generally decent guy (who gets to witness E.T.'s sendoff).
After E.T.'s resurrection, it's a bit of a different story, but I think the reason why the police and government agents are trying to stop E.T. is more because they don't want such an amazing discovery get away (and are unaware that E.T. will die if he doesn't leave Earth) than a desire to kill and dissect him. |
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