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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
 Posted - 03/14/2005 : 10:39:49 PM
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| ...offers to give the poor VHS beast a break and transfers ALL bad movies on VHS to DVD, each complete with letterboxing, good audio and video transfers, and a full load of features! Unfortunately, in their zeal for more bad movie fodder, the rabid horde of Jabootu-ites.... |
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hbrennan
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Philippines
1455 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2005 : 10:55:13 PM
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...decide to write their own bad movie. Stitched together like the Frankenstein monster from decaying parts of other bad movie cliches, the screenplay takes on a life it's own. While the Jabootu-ites scream "It's alive! It's alive", this hideous abomination of a script slowly makes it's way to Hollywood where...
"...yet it hadn't destroyed his brain."
re: Charles "The Butcher" Benton (1956) |
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TVsGrady
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
671 Posts |
Posted - 03/14/2005 : 11:28:27 PM
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...it gets greenlit by the same "genius" who thought Paris Hilton could act...
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"Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of false advertising since my lawsuit against the movie The Neverending Story!"-Lionel Hutz |
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Mr. Tambourine Shatner
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
96 Posts |
Posted - 03/15/2005 : 01:08:57 AM
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...and ships a special print to Australia, where it takes the place of both "Crocodile Dundee" and "Kangaroo Jack" as a god-like entity worshipped by natives. The role the print has to play is to stop the long-forgotten but still deadly invading armies of...
"Shut the F**k up, Donny!"
-Words of infinite wisdom from Walter, "The Big Lebowski" |
Edited by - Mr. Tambourine Shatner on 03/15/2005 01:10:11 AM |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 03/15/2005 : 09:48:31 AM
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Japanese Elvis impersonators, a force created from the Kennys of old! Mutated out of short pants, and into white sequaned jump suits, they decend on Las Vagas like a hord of.....
"I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." G. Marx.
"Never turn your back on a bad movie, untill your SURE its dead." H. Flangpart. |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2005 : 6:22:03 PM
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| ....strange bald blue men in black jumpsuits. But unlike the Blue Man Group, which plays really cool music on really weird but really cool instruments, THESE guys.... |
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Zev
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2005 : 11:04:50 PM
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...perform the Dante's Inferno dance number from the end of Staying Alive in an attempt to...
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"A superior intelligence has come from Venus - in my satellite! - established residency, turned off the world's power, and is about to take over the world's population! Why aren't you fighting it?"
"Because... this superior intelligence happens to be a personal friend of mine!" |
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Mr. Tambourine Shatner
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
96 Posts |
Posted - 03/16/2005 : 11:36:46 PM
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...Lure John Travolta into another sequel to "Saturday Night Fever", where he can finally complete the trilogy he always dreamed of and personally finance another long-dreaded sequel to...
"Shut the F**k up, Donny!"
-Words of infinite wisdom from Walter, "The Big Lebowski" |
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Mr. Blue
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Papua New Guinea
648 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 02:06:59 AM
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...Look Who's Talking...
"That's right! I lost this young life once, but thanks to the afro, I'm all better!"-Sandora |
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Scarm The Great
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 09:06:15 AM
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...which is strangely being directed by George Romero, and starring Haley Joel Osment as a zombie who dreams of becoming...
When there are two conflicting versions of the story, the wise course is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.
--H. Allen Smith |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 11:37:55 AM
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Song and dance man..er, zombie. But, as his legs and arms keep falling off, this looks more and more doubtful....sad and distressed, the Osment Zombie character begins to haunt the dreams of....
"I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." G. Marx.
"Never turn your back on a bad movie, untill your SURE its dead." H. Flangpart. |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 11:26:12 PM
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| ...the guilt-ridden zombie psychologist, played by Bruce Willis, who made a serious blunder when treating a zombie patient years ago. His misdiagnosis of the patient - Post Death Stress Disorder - led to the tragic.... |
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Zev
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2005 : 12:58:42 AM
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...irony of Steven Seagal directing a movie version of State of Fear. This film, of course...
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"A superior intelligence has come from Venus - in my satellite! - established residency, turned off the world's power, and is about to take over the world's population! Why aren't you fighting it?"
"Because... this superior intelligence happens to be a personal friend of mine!" |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2005 : 4:10:24 PM
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....Features the return of the Super Friends who have decided to abandon their "no fight" policy so they can......
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
Edited by - Greenhornet on 03/18/2005 4:11:03 PM |
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Mr. Blue
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Papua New Guinea
648 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2005 : 5:27:32 PM
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...finally beat the hell out of Aquaman, Riddler, The Wonder Twins, Toyman, Scarecrow, and all the other lame-o losers in both the Superfriends and Legion of Doom. After a satisfactory and fatal smackdown...
"That's right! I lost this young life once, but thanks to the afro, I'm all better!"-Sandora |
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