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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
 Posted - 05/23/2005 : 7:24:24 PM
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| ....Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Lecter now sees Billy Jack, realizes he's crossed over from the realm of GOOD movies (and not-so-good, look at Hannibal) into the world of cinematic Cheez Whiz. His eyes narrow into slits, and he says to Billy Jack.... |
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TVsGrady
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
671 Posts |
Posted - 05/23/2005 : 9:28:11 PM
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..."And now, young hippie, you will die!" Lecter then tries to shoot blue lightning from his hands, but instead manages to...
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"Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of false advertising since my lawsuit against the movie The Neverending Story!"-Lionel Hutz |
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Hinda
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Israel
229 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2005 : 07:26:42 AM
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| spray Billy Jack with pea soup vomit. Only its split pea with ham soup. Since Billy recently converted to Islam, this represents a fate worse that death for him. However... |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2005 : 5:36:53 PM
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....This occured on the rare day when Mikelmass Monday followed St. Swithans' Day in the Green Hills of Grun, which made contact with ham by those of the Muslem faith OK! News of the (Rather silly) attack on Billy Jack has caused the members of the Cheerleader Witchs' Coven to sing happy songs because....
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
Edited by - Greenhornet on 05/24/2005 5:38:34 PM |
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TVsGrady
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
671 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2005 : 8:12:13 PM
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...Billy Jack had become obessessed with burning cheerleader witches at the stake after a "vision quest" which involved him kicking the prophet Zoroaster in the groin...
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"Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of false advertising since my lawsuit against the movie The Neverending Story!"-Lionel Hutz |
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Hinda
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Israel
229 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 10:53:08 AM
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| The prophet Zoroaster is Darth Vadar's alter ego. He says "Billy, I'm your father." |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 4:26:58 PM
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...and then disowns his butt because Billy is an ungratefull son. Just as Billy Jack is about to offer a snappy come-back given to him by the wise Indian, he steps on a sandspur and is crippled for life because he keeps takeing off his shoes. It is then that the mysterious figure who has been lurking in the shadows all this time comes forward and....
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
Edited by - Greenhornet on 05/26/2005 4:30:41 PM |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 5:34:31 PM
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Decides he has better thing to do then watch Billy Jack get his butt waxed by a cranky kid with a Lightsaber. However, as he turns to go...
"I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." G. Marx.
"Never turn your back on a bad movie, untill your SURE its dead." H. Flangpart. |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 7:05:15 PM
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...Billy makes the crack, "When mysterious figures like you turn their backs on me, I... just... go... Ber... ZERK!!!" Then he remembers: he's got a bum leg now. Oops!
The mysterious figures rolls his eyes, thinking, "You could have escaped my wrath, Billy boy," and turns to approach Billy and Zoroaster. Both Billy and Zoroaster's jaws drop when they realize that the mysterious figure is none other than.... |
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Kooshmeister
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
USA
104 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 7:17:57 PM
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| ...the Burger King, who is really King Randor from He-Man and, along with his loyal flamingly homosexual son Prince Adam and Adam's retarded, squirrel-eating half-siblings, plans to take over the fast food industry by... |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 7:21:23 PM
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| ......nine AM monday.... |
Edited by - Greenhornet on 05/26/2005 7:21:56 PM |
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Kooshmeister
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
USA
104 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 7:27:55 PM
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| ...by assassinating Ronald McDonald with... |
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TVsGrady
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
671 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 8:23:05 PM
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...a genetically engineered howler monkey whose bite causes instant death, but things go awry when the monkey instead bites...
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"Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of false advertising since my lawsuit against the movie The Neverending Story!"-Lionel Hutz |
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Kooshmeister
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
USA
104 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 8:25:54 PM
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| ...Prince Adam! King Randor, enraged at the death of his gay son, sics his other two sons on the howler monkey, who mistake it for a squirrel and eat it with... |
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Hinda
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Israel
229 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 01:26:43 AM
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| peanut butter and jelly. However, the price of peanuts has gone up over the moon, due to a plant disease that has killed off all the peanuts in Virginia. To buy enough peanut butter, they have to borrow money from the loan shark from the original ROCKY. When they don't pay up... |
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