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Evil Otto
Archdeacon of Jabootu
16 Posts |
 Posted - 03/02/2005 : 6:34:50 PM
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...magically accurate cost/benefit analysis, an idea for which Ken recieves no credit, causing him to become enraged and attack...
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
--Sir Winston Churchill |
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Mr. Tambourine Shatner
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
96 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2005 : 7:09:13 PM
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...Micheal Moore, draining all of his body fat through his armpit, and then goes to Hawaii to finish off the director of...
"Shut the F**k up, Donny!"
-Words of infinite wisdom from Walter, "The Big Lebowski" |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2005 : 9:21:21 PM
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| ....Armageddon! (I would've said On Deadly Ground, but Seagal has already had a walk-on in this thread.) Unfortunately, Michael Bay escapes Ken's clutches and is able to continue to work on his lastest masterpiece.... |
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Kit Rex
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
294 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2005 : 9:35:46 PM
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...RAMBO VS. TERMINATOR!!!!! the endless (and pointless) action set pieces of which provide a convenient cover for the assassination of...
Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends |
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hbrennan
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Philippines
1455 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2005 : 9:42:07 PM
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Govenor Schwarzenegger. As we peer into the prop room, we see a sinister pair of hands switch out the blank rounds of a rather large collection of exotic firearms -replacing them with live rounds. The camera pans up and we see the grim features of a familiar face. That face of course belongs to...
"...yet it hadn't destroyed his brain."
re: Charles "The Butcher" Benton (1956) |
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Zev
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2005 : 11:53:52 PM
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...Chuck Norris, scheming to kill every action star bigger than he is (this could take a while)! However, his first victim has returned as a creature of the night. That victim is...
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"A superior intelligence has come from Venus - in my satellite! - established residency, turned off the world's power, and is about to take over the world's population! Why aren't you fighting it?"
"Because... this superior intelligence happens to be a personal friend of mine!" |
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Mr. Blue
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Papua New Guinea
648 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 04:02:53 AM
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...Jean Claude VanDamm, who nobody noticed was dead. However...
"That's right! I lost this young life once, but thanks to the afro, I'm all better!"-Sandora |
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dmilroy
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
281 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 11:18:07 AM
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... he has one fatal weakness : ...
~D( etc. ) |
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hbrennan
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Philippines
1455 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 12:41:36 PM
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His legs fell off when he tried to do that "split between the chairs thing". After crawling around for several years, he comes upon an old friend who may yet help him achieve his goal of becoming a viable screen presence. That person is...
"...yet it hadn't destroyed his brain."
re: Charles "The Butcher" Benton (1956) |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 3:10:19 PM
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Sammo Hung, bitter about his T.V. show being cancelled. Hung is building an army of fat Kung-Fu masters, who's first objective is to....
"I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." G. Marx.
"Never turn your back on a bad movie, untill your SURE its dead." H. Flangpart. |
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TVsGrady
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
671 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 8:19:50 PM
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...force-feed Morgan "Super Size Me" Spurlock wafer-thin mints until he literally explodes...
***
"Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of false advertising since my lawsuit against the movie The Neverending Story!"-Lionel Hutz |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2005 : 10:24:43 PM
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| ....and an alien chestburster comes out, dons a hat, grabs a cane, starts dancing and singing "Hello My Baby, Hello My Honey" for a bit, then goes for the throat of.... |
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Evil Otto
Archdeacon of Jabootu
16 Posts |
Posted - 03/05/2005 : 08:57:54 AM
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...The clone of Adolph Hitler, who was secretly behind the whole thing. From his secret UFO base in Antarctica he commands his army of...
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
--Sir Winston Churchill |
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hbrennan
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Philippines
1455 Posts |
Posted - 03/05/2005 : 12:44:48 PM
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flying monkeys who found themselves recently unemployed after that unfortunate episode involving a bucket of water. However, no one was prepared for the evil that was unleashed by the suprise appearance of ...
"...yet it hadn't destroyed his brain."
re: Charles "The Butcher" Benton (1956) |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 03/05/2005 : 2:22:28 PM
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| ....Ken Begg, the Jabootu-ites' Fearless Leader. All those years of watching bad movies, bashing his head on the wall at some and sticking his head in the oven at others, have finally taken their toll and fried his brain. He is now nearing completion of his ultimate doomsday weapon.... |
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